FEBRUARY 16, 2009 11:00PM

"We Need To Talk"

Rate: 72 Flag

My dissatisfaction with you has begun to take on proportions I could have never imagined.

 

You roll out of bed like the world owes you something for simply … waking.  Please, put on your satin robe and realize that it does not.  In fact, it’s you that owes the world something, you owe me something, and perhaps it’s time you figured out a productive form of recompense that doesn’t include disappearing into the damask with your face and your mind lost in someone else’s pages.  Perhaps you could put a little heart into it … give it the old college try, click your heels together, flap your wings, I-think-I-can, I-think-I-can … or just pretend, I’ll settle for that, for now.

 

In spite of you, everyone gets out of here, morning after morning, on time, feeling loved, adored.  You realize that that is what they deserve, but it’s no thanks to you.  Too much, you take their love for granted, thinking it will always be there like the deepness of the Grand Canyon or the colors of the sunrise.  Trust me when I say that it will not.  They are growing and changing as fast as shadows and clouds and soon they’ll too big and too far away to touch, like kites on a strong wind, and that will be a very sad day for you … and for them.  Sunrise will fade to sunset and you’ll have only whispers and regrets.

 

Regret is funny that way, you know, its long-term and short-term realities.  I wonder how many regrets you accumulate on any one, given day.  Is it possible to regret the mundane … heaps of laundry, the remnants of a good meal, the pillows askew?  Do you even notice and if you do, do you even care?  Oscar Wilde may have said, “Man is made for something better than disturbing dirt”, but I like to believe he wouldn’t have disapproved of pooling the taffeta just-so from time to time.

 

Is this ego perhaps, teetering at the pinnacle of something far worse?  This is your home and the life you created and nurtured and every day we swim together in the inspired, blue-green waters of the gulf, sunbeams pouring in on us from every direction.  We do this together, or we don’t do it at all and I need you. 

 

The time for childish things has passed, you must clean up your toys and tidy your ruffles, make yourself back into yourself without anger or frustration or tears.  Just fix it.  Fix it now.  Find your gratitude and your sensibility.  Unfold your arms, positioned for burial, and let them fall freely and fully alive by your sides.  Place your hands, so sweetly, over  your heart and find yourself in your own rhythm.  Remember who you are.  Remember who you are.

 

 And so, without further row, this little tête-à-tête must be put to bed.  I’m setting this mirror down and I’m walking back out into the sunlight.  Don’t follow me or do, but if you choose to, do it with all your heart.  Nothing less is acceptable.

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You are definitely not another brick in the wall. You know who you are and I love you more each time I read you.
What incredible writing! "you take their love for granted, thinking it will always be there like the deepness of the Grand Canyon or the colors of the sunrise. Trust me when I say that it will not. They are growing and changing as fast as shadows and clouds and soon they’ll too big and too far away to touch, like kites on a strong wind, and that will be a very sad day for you … and for them. Sunrise will fade to sunset and you’ll have only whispers and regrets." That is one hell of a phrase, mom. I really enjoyed this and the mirror thing at the end made it a work of genius. Rated
Bravo, Ann! You got me! And I'm so glad every time I get you.
Talking to yourself doesn' t mean you're crazy, right??? :)

Thanks mama :)

Toochee ~ awwwwwww ... you are the best ... I count on you to tell me the truth, you know ... ;)

Spud :) Thank you much ... I think I may have had too much caffeine today ...
Yay!!! Sally ~ we've got each other!
Yes Monte!!! Hooray!!! ;0

Hybalahardestnametospellever :) thank you and let me just say again how much I love your smiling picture! It makes me happy!

thank you new blog. I appreciate that.
Fixed the name thing- glad my mug shot makes you happy! what a compliment :)
ok t&d ... wow good or wow that sucks real bad???

julie ... julie ... all this time and I could have been typing "julie" ... LOL!!! OMG ... julie :) great name for a great smile!
"Unfold your arms, positioned for burial, and let them fall freely and fully alive by your sides. Place your hands, so sweetly, over your heart and find yourself in your own rhythm. Remember who you are. Remember who you are."

Gentle surprises seem to be the thing these days. So VERY nicely done, IM!
Thank you Lea ... I've felt a little lost lately ... just trying to find my way back :)
Well then...caffein becomes you! Wonderful post!
I have to have little tete-a-tetes like this from time to time, too!
Sounds like you're experiencing some of that "cabin fever" I was talking about in The Coldest Spot in Hell. You're also putting me in mind of that Merle Haggard tune:

"My legs and my feet
Have walked till they can't hardly move
From tryin' to please you
And my back is sore
From bendin' all over backwards
To just lay the world at your door
And I'm tryin' hard
To put a smile on a sad face
But deep down it's breakin' my heart
And as sure as the sun shines
I'll be a lifetime
Not knowin' if I've done my part

'Cause you take me for granted
And it's breakin' my heart
And as sure as the sun shines
I'll be a lifetime
Not knowin' if I've done my part"
"""You roll out of bed like the world owes you something for simply … waking. Please, put on your satin robe and realize that it does not."""

Dammit. Now I want a satin robe!

Brilliant rant!
wow, your writing is stunning. this is a fabulous piece. you got me at the end. your descriptions, your metaphors, are wonderful. i feel so badly that i haven't been reading you all along. beginning to hate that right hand new posts thing because it moves too fast...you know the drill.

thank you so very much. love love love and gratitude!!
So good to have you back,and that you have "unfolded your arms".
You put the human touch to all your writings.
'Nice' is an understatement.:)
I've said these things to myself too...only not quite as beautifully. And you're right, you know...one day they do grow up and go out into the world. I'll bet they keep coming back, well...because you say things like THIS to yourself when you need to. Rated for the understanding.
sometimes, you just need to decide who's the boss...
I've been clicking my heels together for years...
Agree with Idaho here--sheer genius and a great wake up call to life. That is what partners can do for each other.
Beautifully written and felt.
thank you
the last paragraph knocked me on my ass
rated.
Oh, Mother!
You got me good with this one! Beautifully written and to the point. Everyone needs a pep talk from time to time, even if you have to give it to yourself. Well done Mother.
Words for all of us to live by Ma.
Wonderful introspection.
(rated)
I could use a stern talking-to periodically. You provide inspiration.
This really hit me. How much of family life, actually life in general, is so automatic that we breeze through it, missing it. Thanks for the reminder to be more present.
Thanks odette & Monique & Cathy J

L&P ~ we seriously need a big dose of springtime!!!

I hope it helps you more than it does me, Silkstone~ I’m backsliding already! Haha

Tom ~ you have lyrics for everything … a true troubadour

Zuma ~ you’d look awesome in satin!!!

Thanks Teddy J Glad you’re feeling up to reading over here … keep feeling better!

Peter … I’m blushing …

Gracielou my dear … I’ve missed you madly!!! Gratitude & sensibility … that’s all you~
I’m the boss … no she’s the boss … you wanna be the boss, Brian??? ;)

Jess … there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home!!!

Thank you o’steph … YES~ a wake up call!!!

Get up iconesis … here, let me help you!!! J Thanks!!!

Surprise Michael!!! … you never know what I’m going to … I’m so sneaky!

Thank you Greggers J Introspection is good, right?

Undertow … this is your stern talking to for the day J have a great one!!!

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa …I think I’m going to try to trade my auto-pilot in … do they take those at pawn shops??? It works great!
Brilliant. My grandmother, mother of 8, said she talked to herself because it was the only way to assure herself of an intelligent audience who know how to listen:)
Beautifully well-written.

RATED!
Sorry to hear you're a little lost, irritated, but it certainly gives you good writing fodder.
Mother!!!! Mother!!!!!
This was just what I needed today!! Have you been reading my diary? Oh, that's right I don't have a diary. Nonetheless it is very inspiring and hits home with such force.
I think I will print this and tape it to my mirror.
Really, wonderful and sadly beautiful and steaming with harsh truth.
I found your line;"They are growing and changing as fast as shadows and clouds and soon they’ll too big and too far away to touch, like kites on a strong wind," to be especially poignant and beautiful.

rated
Thanks penrose :) but I don't know about profound ... profound is above my pay grade

Thank you Mary ... I talk to myself all the time~!

high praise, midwest :) Thank you!!!

Geoff ... too much input, not enough output ... story of my life ;0

John Walker, let me tell you this ~ if you had a diary, I would definitely want to read it!!! That line is one of my favorites too ... they grow up entirely too fast!
I appreciate your ability to speak sense to yourself.
It's a good idea, but I'm not on speaking terms with myself right now. (Let alone petting terms)

(thumbified for introspection and beautificence)
Mother, you are a no non-sense lady and I love to read all your post. The world would be a better place if there were more people like you.

Thumbs up & rated
Did you listen? Good job, IM:)
You truly are the master/mistress of your own ship. Sail on Mother, damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead! Great writing and soul searching. Rated & Cheers!
Speechless here. This is perfect. Wow. (In a very, very "good wow" way)
Love this! (I was going to say 'wow' - good wow :-)
"Sunrise will fade to sunset and you’ll have only whispers and regrets."

Nice one, Mother. Very, very nice.
Ooh, Just what I needed. A punch in the stomach, a slap in the face. I've spent plenty of time talking like this to someone (who shall remain nameless). I can see that it's time I talked to myself like this for once. Love it. I too, think I'll print it out and put it on my mirror.
"Just fix it. Fix it now." Right on sista!
Guide me, Mother, with your firm but loving hand. It's a beautiful day!
Been feeling awfully sorry for myself lately. I just bookmarked this so I can read it often until it sinks in. Much appreciated.
Thank you much, Jodi my friend … now if only I’d listen (right??? Lisa Solod Warren … I have to listen now … I’m not so good at that part!!!) Be kind to yourself ~ forgive and pet ;0

Georgia George J The world would be scarier for sure J but thank you!

I like that Bubba ~ full speed ahead!!! … but, I have to admit, I’m a terrible sailor …

JL ~ thank you! … that is some high praise!

K8 & Kaysong … Thank you for the good wow … I really appreciate it!

M. Chariot ~ merci beaucoup …

Thanks Denise & Mung J I’m glad you liked

Jlynne ~ I have to keep myself on track … I have a serious lazy streak

Lonnie ;) It IS a beautiful day … thanks for the inspiration!!!

Katina ~ I probably need to reread it too … about 50 times a day!!!
Just Wonderful!

Thanks. We all need a kick in the pants every so often.
"your arms, positioned for burial"

That may be my favorite line, but it is one among many----many---in this brilliant essay.
Excellent. In every way. EXCELLENT.

I especially loved "They are growing and changing as fast as shadows and clouds and soon they’ll too big and too far away to touch, like kites on a strong wind, and that will be a very sad day for you … and for them."

I think I'll go call someone I love.
Wow good. For a while there I thought your husband was going to get his ass kicked.
Wow! Glad you're in charge and good wake up call!
Damn it, get out of my head!!!

Seriously, this was seriously good Anne. I read this with a red face, because you HAD to be talking about me. Well, except for the satin robe. Don't own one of those.

Thumbed, for holding up that mirror and daring to record what's in it.
Karin, I fear I need it more often than most & Thank you!

m.a.h. ~ Thank you so much … that’s always how I feel when I have my arms crossed in front … it’s creepy somehow, not to mention just bad body language!!! Don’t want that!!!

Sandra … I hope you did call someone you love and I’m glad you liked that line … it kind of sums up the shape of my heart when I was writing this J and thank you very much for your kind words

Angrymom ~ LOLOLOL!!! Of course you did J That’s why I LOVE YOU!

Thanks Just Pamela … ring, ring … there goes that damn alarm again!

OK, Bill S ~ now I’m going to bed imagining you in a silk robe, even though you don’t have one … it’s now burned into my mind … and as for that evil mirror … if it wasn’t for all that bad luck … well you know how that might have turned out!!!
Boy, you had me. Really really good. Creative, clever, and hard hitting.
OMG, How did you know??....

For a second I thought you were really talking to me, like a response to a post kind of thing.

This is excellent.

"They are growing and changing as fast as shadows and clouds and soon they’ll too big and too far away to touch, like kites on a strong wind, and that will be a very sad day for you … and for them. Sunrise will fade to sunset and you’ll have only whispers and regrets."

Is absolutely unforgettable.
Just one question, Do you look in the mirror and tell yourself this every morning? Or is it just a great day some days?

Hope you had a good hair day today. LOL Kim Hawley
Thanks for the swift kick in the arse, Ma....
You are truly a brilliant writer.
"Oscar Wilde may have said, “Man is made for something better than disturbing dirt”, but I like to believe he wouldn’t have disapproved of pooling the taffeta just-so from time to time."
Loved this.
Thanks C Berg J ~ I like that threesome!

Oh Janie … don’t we all need a good kick in the pants some days!!!

Apache ~ That’s so funny because my girlfriend from back home called me after reading and said the same thing … well it was more like this, “WTF??? Why are you writing about me???” LOL! Self-loathing is universal … Hooray!!! ;o

If I did it every morning, Totzaon ~ I wouldn’t have time to watch entire seasons of America’s Top Model for 12 hours/ day ~ so, no.

Annimal (LOVE that name) … yup … time to reboot and start fresh!

Rosie!!! Where have you been??? Thank you for the very nice compliment J I’m glad you’re home!~
You are a great writer. And you will miss them when they're gone.(Till they come back with several grandchildren a piece.)
Thank you Delia and I know ... I try to count my blessings ....

and GAWD ... did you just say grandchildren??? Are you trying to make me start drinking before lunch???
Wow, I loved this. I'd copied "unfold your arms, positioned for burial" and then found lots of others beat me to it. I hope you get it across. I feel lucky I figured this out when my daughter was still little.
Thank you, Joan Walsh :) I appreciate that very much! Just a little reminder to keep myself in line ... I'm quite the wanderer.

Again, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.
:) Ann
Nice write, Ann! Very moving piece.
Thank you so much, laurenjwalter :)
Very much get that. Nicely put.