I am posting this for someone here on OpenSalon that is well-known, well-loved and uses her real name. After you read this, you will understand the obvious reasons she could not post it on her blog. Please keep in mind when commenting that SHE wrote this, not me. She will be readi… Read full post »

Disclaimer:  I don’t really live on the “real” Wisteria Lane, but I promise you, it’s the next best thing.

Last Saturday was Yard Sale Day – the day everyone in the community gets together and sells all their crap.  The ladies of Wisteria Lane love Yard S/… Read full post »

Somebody once wrote that, “American Idol is a symbol of everything that is wrong with America.”

I completely agree. 

I completely agree that the American Idol franchise is the ultimate symbol of how Americans are never satisfied … with anything or anybody.

C… Read full post »

As this election comes to a close, and the campaigns get ramped up like my kids after a breakfast of cotton candy and Snickers bars, I find myself needing a familiar remedy … two xanax and a margarita.  Look, I like Obama as much as the next socialist, jungle fever,… Read full post »

I swear, this is the best damn chocolate cake you will ever eat.  Unless of course, you have some special childhood memory of chocolate cake made by the tender hands of your precious Grammy. 

(((Shhh … over here … this cake is better than that one, but you don’t… Read full post »

Are you afraid of making a cheesecake?  Don't let the recipe books intimidate you ... you can do it ... and yours will be better than any cheesecake you will find elsewhere.  The base of this cheesecake goes with everything ... any topping ... any swirl ... any crust. 

This is… Read full post »

I did it to myself. I should have never started following Roy Blunt (R-Missouri), my congressman.

Initially, I got a chuckle out of his ramblings about having ice cream with his grandkids and such. I found it interesting that he was keeping such a low profile considering he’s about to… Read full post »

I overheard this conversation around the computer this weekend:

"Oh!  My!  God!" 

"What the heck IS that?"

"No freaking way!"

"I am never having sex."

"Me either."

"No.  Seriously."

"Yhea, seriously.  Never."

Free Birth Control!!! 

Feel free to downlo… Read full post »

I swear, twice today, I thought I had been shot with a poison dart or stung by a gigantic African bee.  Once on my back and once on the back of my arm … a quick stab of pain … you know, the kind that you instinctively slap, for lack of/… Read full post »

It’s that time again … time to get started on the Family Photo Christmas card.  I have learned that the more kids you have, the more this practice is expected.  It always seems like a good idea at first…

When we had one child and lived in our hometo… Read full post »

(several years ago)

We sat down on the couch.  I started to cry.  Cry might not really convey what I was doing … maybe the right word is “sob”.  No … not really … I started to “wail” … yes, that’s it, I started to wail.&nb… Read full post »

Barbie, the original Fashionista and controversial American icon was found dead today, on her 50th anniversary of her exceptional life. Barbie had an astounding professiona… Read full post »

Facebook offers these wonderful little quizzes to help their consumers answer many deep and burning questions they might have about themselves.  The quizzes are quick and easy and don’t require a co-pay or any follow up visits.  

Read full post »

My dissatisfaction with you has begun to take on proportions I could have never imagined.

You roll out of bed like the world owes you something for simply … waking.  Please, put on your satin robe and realize that it does not.  In fact, it’s you that owes the world someth/… Read full post »

Who can resist Thanksgiving food? Not me! And, it is EVERYWHERE! On every magazine cover that comes to my sunflower-clad mailbox ... on every staged magazine in the damn Wal-Mart check out line.  I finally gave in the other day ... I got out of line and headed to the other… Read full post »

Dear Deborah, (((Mother-to-Mother)))

I have resisted thinking about this since hearing about it on the news because it is (1) completely ridiculous ~ on several levels and (2) even more ridiculous ~ on several other levels. But, alas, I am sucked into the black vortex of your simple, ignorant mind.

Ser… Read full post »

Dear Neighborhood Golfers,

Please get your ass over to the golf course.  Pay the damn green fee and tip your bartender.  Rent a cart and buy a bottle of water from that high school kid with the droopy pants.  Today.  Now.  Go.

If you don’t, the course is goi… Read full post »

Dr. Amy posted a piece today about teenagers, sex, and music. 

I've been thinking about it entirely too much ~ because the right music will get me in the sack anytime (even if the Daily Show is on or there's a giant platter of chocolate eclairs on the table) ...… Read full post »

Saturday:

The soccer socks that were washed inside out still have grass on them.

We can only find three of the four needed shin gaurds.

I burnt the cinnamon rolls.

We’re out of orange juice.

It’s cold outside and the wind is blowing.

I only packed 2 (instead of 12)… Read full post »

One Mom's Thoughts on

The Jonas Brothers World Tour 2009

***with concert pictures

On Monday night, I had the pleasure (yes, the pleasure) of seeing The Jonas Brothers World Tour 2009 concert at the BOK Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  I admit that I had my doubts initially and/… Read full post »

If you watch Bravo at all, you’ve seen the ads for Kathy Griffin’s new special, “She’ll Cut a Bitch”.  In the trailer, she says, “Don’t turn on me gays, but I just don’t get those Jonas Brothers” to the sound of riotous laughter.  I laug/… Read full post »

I grew up watching Sesame Street & The Electric Company.  I remember Bob Ross painting “happy little trees” and seeing Jerry Jeff Walker on Austin City Limits.  Back in those days, when there were only four channels, I remember my very favorite being the one with a degree of/… Read full post »

Me:  “Hello.”

Him:  “What’s wrong?  You sound kind of crazy.

Me:  (In my head)  Hell yhea, I ‘m kind of crazy … because you’re sacked out at the f’ing Ritz Carlton after a fancy-schmancy dinner and the first of man/… Read full post »

MSNBC is going to air a Bill Cosby town hall meeting on September 20 at Howard University that is set to explore poverty in America.  The forum will focus on, "parenting, education and health issues facing the poor in America."

Please tell me why MSNBC and Bill Cosby, who be… Read full post »