Every few years I flirt with the idea of becoming a vegetarian. Look at Gwyneth Paltrow; she makes it work. At the very least, I promise to cut out beef. Really, who needs that fat? Those hormones? The carcinogens kicked up by the grill (because of course you're grilling)? What with animal cruelty reports and e-coli warnings, I've been all set to announce: "Beef: it's NOT what's for dinner."

My sister the cook has foiled my attempts, in part because of her impressive collection of marinade recipes, not to mention her killer side dishes. You want slaw? I'll show you slaw. Potato salad--ppht--she has four versions. 

Mostly, however, it's because of what she does with hamburger.  My sister the cook is a stickler for preparation. That means she shops for good (but reasonably priced) cuts of beef, thoroughly cleans the countertop and all her tools and then grinds the meat, often with bacon added. Then she makes patties.

 The result? Nirvana for carnivores.

I know: who has time for that? Anyone. Think about it: this once-a month indulgence isn't likely to sabotage your diet nor contribute to coronary unrest. These are cheaper than buying ground beef and better tasting. Why? We know a little fat is needed to hold the patties together (80% lean is best). Store-bought ground beef has tallow added, a cow fat with zero taste and all the calories. My sister gets a piece of beef, trims off all excess fat and then adds back the fat in the form of smoked bacon. Enough said. 

Best of all, my sister the cook bought her incredible grinder on e-Bay. Receiving the package, reading the instruction book and setting it up actually took me back to a  time before my time--a neat trick that trumps any spiritual high I might get from sticking strictly to nuts, grains and vegetables.

 For 4 burgers:
A grill, although hamburgers can be broiled.

Small hand crank meat grinder; your mother’s, or shop e-Bay or second-hand stores and flea markets   

 2 lbs beef--boneless chuck, top/bottom round, etc.; an inexpensive cut (even in an urban area, we pay only $1.79-$2.29 per pound.

4-6 slices of bacon, roughly diced;  any kind will do, as you’re really looking for the fat content to add to the lean beef. Sis buys  bacon “ends” at a discount at the local Amish market.
 
 Romaine or iceberg lettuce, ripe tomato, thinly sliced sweet onion

Condiments of choice

 Trim the beef and cut into approx. 1” cubes. Refrigerate, which makes it  easier to grind.  

Assemble the grinder. Boil and cool cutting parts before and after use.

Start with a bit of bacon to “grease” the grinder; then alternate beef and bacon until everything is ground. Use a metal bowl as it keeps the meat cooler. Add seasoning if you want but not salt.

Gently mix the contents of the bowl together by hand. Don't over-mix.   

Form into 4 equally sized patties, about ½” thick. The texture will seem a little “softer” than patties made with store- bought ground beef; but the bacon fat should keep them together. 

Make sure your grill is nice and hot. You can lightly oil the grill surface before turning it on.

 Place the burgers on the grill over direct heat. Here are some tips: 

• Cook about 3 to 4 minutes per side, turning once. (USDA guidelines suggest an internal temperature of 165 which is way too well-done by my standards.)

• Don’t press down or otherwise fuss with the burgers during cooking.

• During the last minute, toast sliced, lightly buttered buns face down on the grill

• Serve immediately. Sis recommends fresh corn and cucumber dill salad. Or she might be willing to share one of her four potato salad recipes.