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aaroncynic

aaroncynic
Location
Chicago, Illinois, United States
Birthday
December 31
Bio
I'm some things to a few people. Mostly a nuisance but sometimes a zine writer, internet radio host, blogger, musician, and project organizer. I run a small website where you can read mine and other fabulous contributor's words: www.diatribemedia.com and also contribute to the Chicagoist (www.chicagoist.com). When not shouting about the falling sky over the internet, reading about government conspiracies or watching b-rate sci-fi, you can find me singing for the band Burning Luck. Direction is only relative to your position in the grand scheme of things. Some day, I'll sort this all out.

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Editor’s Pick
MARCH 17, 2009 9:53PM

Sci-Fi Just Can't Seem To Imagine Greater

Rate: 8 Flag

 As Mad_Typist pointed out, the Sci Fi Channel has decided to give another middle finger to its main viewers. In an idiotic attempt to reach out to people who apparently aren't “geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that,” the Sci-Fi channel spent an untold amount of money on hip marketing gurus to come up with a name “Millennials” and Generation Z can better text each other.

image courtesy of http://francisanderson.wordpress.com/

HipKewlTxtr says “Dude 4 ltrs = wy btr 2 txt than 5! I lve dis chnl!”

I'm not unhip to technology. I twit, tweet, share, digg, Mybook, and whatever else the kids do to shout loudly to the rooftops “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!” I'm not hip enough usually to watch more popular television shows. I've never seen an episode of the Hills or Grey's Anatomy. I tried to watch the Office and 30 Rock, but just couldn't get into it. Still, this apparently doesn't put me in the same category as those other “dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that...” After all, in addition to busying myself in my dingy apartment with “stuff” like Command and Conquer and A Tale In The Desert, I read plenty of books, frequent bars and punk shows, and ride a bike when it's warm outside. I also watch at least two of the top 100 television shows (Lost and Heroes) every week.

Still, somehow I don't think I'm the demographic that Dave Howe, president of the Sci-Fi network desires. I'm just among those “fan-boys and -girls who love the genre.” I don't know what Joost is and I've never used Gleem. But, I know I'm not the only person who based my cable subscription on the availability of the Sci-Fi Network. Despite what ad execs want you to believe, television is still a luxury. When I'm shelling out over $50 a month for cable alone, I'd better be able to watch Star Trek reruns all day long instead of a “Pimp My Ride” marathon.

image courtesy http://streetknowledge.wordpress.com/

This fall on Syfy – Pimp My Shuttlecraft

Many people have been quick to point out that Science Fiction, as a genre, gets a bum rap time and again. Even stalwart defenders quickly feel the need to justify watching a fictional story on an extremely modern invention as a “guilty pleasure.” As I pointed out earlier, even the folks responsible for giving the masses something more than another reality television trainwreck fear the smirks of friends and relatives. Somehow, I guess “water cooler” chatter is still code for discussing the latest Seinfeld or Friends knockoff.

I do agree that the Sci-Fi Channel has had serious problems over the years. Plenty of people don't tune in – but as others have already pointed out, it has nothing to do with the “brand.” I too, like Mad_Typist, was thrilled to find a network where shows like the X-Files were the norm. Finally, I thought, a network with something other than formulaic sitcoms and “true life” dramas. As we've seen over the years, some things are just too good to be true – and we've been relegated to sitting through hours of poorly cobbled together disaster movies.

The “brand” isn't what's wrong – believe me, people are smart enough to know “sci-fi” includes stories about superheroes and the paranormal.

Yes, even these guys

That's a demographic Sci-Fi has begging for more and constantly misses out on. People who are “smart.” Now, I'm not calling anyone stupid here – after all, I've actually watched more than one episode of MTV's “Next,” but what I am saying is that Science Fiction, as a genre, is smart. It takes more than a fancy marketing degree or hip fashion sense to develop a story about an ancient race of proto-humans who seeded the galaxy with transportation devices and ascended to a higher plane of existence. It takes brains to develop a dystopian future where the living dead walk the Earth.

image courtesy http://thephoenix.com/

Yes, pun intended

It is however, lazy and dare I say, stupid to recycle the same plot again and again, putting newer CGI faces on the monsters. It doesn't take brains to say: “I've got it! What if we made Survivor more like the Amazing Race with some rejects from the America's Top Model auditions? All we need is some CGI at home and we've got a real live video game!”

And that's the problem. Instead of paying attention to its core audience and building new and interesting shows, Syfy is just plain lazy. After all, when the best you can come up with is “Spring Break Shark Attack,” your imagination just plain sucks.

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with the exception of Star Wars, Battle Star Gallactica, Planet of the Apes, the Back to the Future series, and a few others, among the best Sci-Fi's were done in the 1940's and 1950's. One of the best being, not the whorish new version, the original, The Day The Earth Stood Still, the original The Thing and jillions of others. Even the low budget, TV SCI-FIO stuff in the fifties and sixties were great.
You have a point, but this is television, not film Prof. Although, I would be quite happy if they would rerun some of those old gems like TDTESS (I have boycotted the remake), the original I Am Legend (I'd even settle for the Omega Man. Syfy apparently decided they'd remake that and I'm sure did a piss poor job of it), This Island Earth, A Clockwork Orange (book was better but it's the best we've got), Them!, etc.

I think the 80's was actually a great time for Sci-Fi movies - production quality was pretty crappy, but plotlines were still pretty solid. Today we've traded decent plots for big budget special effects and even more poorly written dialogue than the Star Wars prequels.

Either way, I'd take the worst Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda (fantastic show sometimes) episode over almost any "new" show Sci-Fi has developed any day.
Just so I don't look like the kind of guy who complains and offers no suggestions, here's a few things that the Sci-Fi Channel could do to make cranks like me happy:

Start airing reruns of Babylon 5, along with all of the made for TV movies.

More Star Trek TNG and DS9, less Enterprise.

Hurry up on that new Stargate Series.

As Prof mentioned, start showing some good classics - can the bad monster movie marathons.

More Outer Limits and X-Files.

Start rerunning Farscape.

Pick up the following: Xena, Invader Zimm, The 4400.

Hell, you can even rerun old He-Man and Thundercats cartoons. We'd appreciate them more than ECW.
I was just going to mention reruns of Bab5. I was furious when they drop-kicked Farscape. I wouldn't even mind old Lost in Space episodes, and why don't they just run sci-fi movies? Why did Spike get to rerun old Voyager and DS9 and not Sci-Fi? Enquiring female sci-fi fans want to know!

What they run now isn't even close to sci-fi; it's slasher/horror genre crap, which is plotless and boring.
The real dilemma here is that for all a channel wants to be associated with a particular genre, it's not always easy to back that up with the right programming. While I am sure that the Sci Fi/Syfy channel has just dropped the ball on certain things (dropping Farscape, etc), here's the rub: licensing existing sci fi properties can be a total bitch. Paramount owns the Star Trek series, and I can only imagine what it costs to license the broadcast rights for that. For awhile, when the UPN was around, it made sense to the parent company to run reruns on their own network. Spike network was willing to pony up the cash where Sci Fi wasn't able to (or wouldn't). Fox owns The X-files, and is more likely to give that to one of their own affliates, such as FX, in order to drive ratings to their own people. Etc etc....

It's the same reason various anime properties are scattered all over the place. Given the choice, I'd like to see all anime on just the Cartoon Network. On the other hand, the Cartoon Network is a great example of how to build a hip brand, as their Adult Swim lineup is wildly popular with the young demographic, and has lots of programming that seems outside the original bounds of the network (e.g. lots of live action shows, such as Tim and Eric, even though it's ostensibly a network for animated shows).

Nonetheless, it's clear that SyFy is suffering from a lack of creativity. Or rather, a lack of QUALITY creativity, since I must confess, "Spring Break Shark Attack" has a certain B movie genius to it.
I suspect the problem for Siffy (is that a stiffy that wilted?) is that there just aren't enough people out there capable of writing and producing shows like BSG on the budget they can offer. I watched B5 again via DVD last year. It's compelling, but the CGI looks dated, the sets look like soap opera sets (the lighting and set dressing budgets just killed B5), and the constant threat of "this season is the last" destroyed the five-year plan so the last two seasons fail. 6 hours a day of B5 and various ST:blah blah is a recipe for declining viewership.

If I ran Siffy, I'd reboot the rebrand and while that was happening, find some indie filmmakers who've never done sci fi but can write gorgeous, compelling stuff. I'd pay them on the cheap, but go gangbusters for a producing team that knows how to squeeze every penny out of a production budget. Hire actors any place but LA. I'd force them to deliver well-written, well-acted pilots on tiny budgets and if those met my metric—worthy of being on the same network as BSG—I'd give them a real budget for the series. I'd end up with a lot of failed pilots, but ,hopefully, 2–3 BSG-caliber shows to frame the network's brand on.

For late nights, I'd see about getting NOVA reruns and documentaries on real space exploration. Gotta put some pure sci into the sci fi.
Specular - How can we get them to hire you instead of the bozo currently in charge?
Yeah, I'm all for nominating Specular, too.
Like most channels they are hit and miss. This name change is unlikely to boost viewers. monkey fingered.
Heck yeah Specular - that's a great idea. I'd vote for you to take over the network and I know half a dozen indy writers and directors who'd leap at a chance like that!
LOL. I'm almost blushing. Okay, my CGI character is blushing. I'll work on getting something akin to experience so the Siffy guys won't boot me from the backlot.
Ardee - I'm with you 100% on all points!

mad - Sure, the name has potential, but I'm sure it will have none of the poor quality puppets and gratuitous nudity that every B movie needs.

I'm with everyone on voting Specular's immediate hire to the network.