I’ve been writing vehemently on this topic ever since it’s proposal on many forums, and have been speaking a great deal about it in my professional life. Generally speaking, I must (usually) stick to the facts and only the facts, offering up an un-biased objective take on the matter, which is still negative. It is only in the Blogosphere where one can truly pontificate and in this case weep at the true tragedy behind the Cars for Clunkers program…  

You see, the program was initially conceived as a means to further stimulate the automotive economy by incenting folks to dump their less efficient autos for NEW fuel efficient machinery. I suppose the billions that the government has already thrown at the industry wasn’t enough. A couple billion more under the guise of economic reform, environmental reason, and well, more auto industry support couldn’t hurt, right? Well, to me, it does! It really hurts! Like stubbing your pinky toe on the dresser when finding your way to the loo at 3am, hurts! 

The program, in its most basic form is fine. It’s the destruction of vehicles that have a great deal of life left in them that hurts not only me as a fellow car guy, but an entire industry. On a recent trip to one of the dealerships near my home, I walked the line of cars that have come in under the cash for clunkers program (C4C). I was astonished to see gleaming metal. Newish cars with PLENTY of life left in them, that have had their engines DESTROYED for the sake of a 4mpg increase! 

Initially, dealers were instructed to pour a sodium compound into the engine oil which would, after a period of running the engine at high RPMs, basically weld all the internal moving components of the engine in-place, in turn rendering (basically) the entire engine, and all of its components utterly useless!  Now that many a car have been brought in under the program, dealers have had an issue destroying cars and later finding out that they do not meet the qualifications for the program! Try explaining that to a customer! I wonder if any suits have been filed as a result of deals falling through, and the trade in being destroyed by the dealer/government? 

Anyway… The problem starts at the used car lot. Many of you may be parent s of teenagers, teenagers close to driving age. Some of you may be like me, and are WELL aware of the poor financial sense buying a new car really makes, and some may, like me again, be lovers of older autos in general. A teen looking for a car isn’t going to have $30k to dump on a reasonable new car. At least not in my neighborhood… A bit further North, yes, but in my subdivision, no. Most work part time, and have saved up a few grand to pick up their first set of SWEET wheels at the local ma-and-pop used car lot. Usually, they spend between $3-6k on their first car. The C4C program is going to make that a whole lot harder… 

Under C4C, people who would normally trade in their aged wheels, people like your grandma with her ’95 Mercury with 18,000 miles on it are taking their cars in to take advantage of the program, and the $4500 rebate. The ’95 Mercury, as stated above, is indeed a cheap car, only worth a couple thousand bucks. This isn’t because it’s a bad car, but rather, there’s LOTS of them. Ford built a ZILLION of these things every year they were in production for use as personal cars, taxis, police cars, government cars, etc. There’s lots, and the market is full of them. That is until the C4C program DEVOURED most of the viable cars. So, the little old lady to-from church car with its gleaming paint, carpets untouched by shoes, and plastic still covering the spare will have its engine destroyed, and will end up being sold for scrap! Obviously that car has load of life left in it. A great first car, etc. 

An entire industry of sub $10k cars will be put out to pasture as a result of this program. The used cars that are left over, due to market demand, will themselves increase in value due to their relative scarcity, and a domino effect will be realized. The days of good cheap used cars will be over! Hell, the days of BAD cheap used cars will be over too!

On the other front, we have the auto parts recycling market. Many of the parts that I use to maintain both my “modern” and antique fleet of cars are used. The fact that the government is requiring the all out destruction of these car’s engines tells me that there is an ulterior agenda at work here. Auto recycling yards are having fits over this as well. 60% of a salvage vehicles value lies in the engine/transmission which under the C4C program, is required to be destroyed. It's almost as though the government is trying to get all older cars off the road, and make it impossible to service them as well. Perhaps they should take a look at Englands MoT, and even their Motor Heratige Trust to see a country that loves their cars, and has a system in place to ensure that cars are roadworthy and safe! 40/50 year old cars are a fairly common sight in the UK, and the governement takes pride in the fact that so many of their native vehicles are still running strong! They have a system of inspections wherein a car must meet certain standards to remain licensed...

As was quoted recently on Jalopnik.com, Bruce Luther of Rock and Roll Auto Recycling in Pleasanton, CA said “The CARs act is written… is horseshit beyond repair!” and goes further to indicate that the current scrap value is at about $140 per ton, which means a 2 ton car is only worth about $280 as scrap. Take out the estimated cost to remove all fluids and “detox” the car, which is about $200, as required by law, your once gleaming motorcar is not only worth $80, if nothing more can be sold off of it!

You may be thinking, what about the interior and body… Well, if you’ve ever been to an auto recycler, you’ll notice that the cars usually have their windows removed, that is, if they were not already destroyed in the process of moving them around the lot. So, the interiors are usually exposed to the elements, etc, and not really worthy of being transplanted. Some of the more “shielded” components, perhaps, but most are quickly destroyed by dust and moisture.  

A great many classic and rare cars are finding the most devastating end in this manner. It brought a slight tear to my eye to watch one dealership take a very rare and beautiful ’94 Jaguar Majestic and give it a dose of silicon silicate in the oil to bring to a halt its glorious V12 engine. I sat in, and drove this car around the lot before it’s destruction. It showed 126k on the clock, and was PERFECT. Not a scratch on it! The interior was recently reupholstered too!

As they poured the poison into the engine, it sputtered a bit, as to say “Oy! What’s this shite you be passing off as oil, to me!” The porter then brought the revs up to about 3k and held them there. Soon, the cap on the coolant reservoir started steaming, and the glorious growl of the great beast was overshadowed by an ominous squeal. The squeal then grew louder, followed by the sound of metal on metal. A shrill grinding sound, not unlike what is heard by the slipping wheels of a steam locomotive. Then, all at once, there was silence. The grand machine’s days of stately motoring were over. The machine that was loveingly assembled by craftsman in the town of Coventry, was purchased by a discerning motorist, lived as a member of the family - took trips, is full of memories, had a story all its own, has been silenced, never to bring a grin to the face of those who had the pleasure of depressing it's "happy" pedal... This fine machine, the axiom of engineering and craftsmanship has officially been removed from cirrculation!

Please note: The engine on the above car, if it was as nice as it seemed during my brief drive and inspection would fetch SEVERAL thousand dollars as a spare/used engine. More than the $4500 rebate offered by the government, and the $80 in raw materials which will be realized by the scrapyard. Due to the rarity of the trim spec on the car, I honestly haven't a clue what its fair market/"classic" car price would be. I pomise, though, that to the right buyer, it would be a multiple of the $4500 the owner gave it up for!

I desperately wanted to remove a token of this glorious machine to act as a memorial that its motoring life was not taken in vain. A peice of evidence that this car did exist. A reminder of its story - the story of it's death. The leaping hood ornament, a masterpeice in chrome, perhaps? No, that would be blasphemy! One should not desecrate this fine vehicle, by plucking parts from it’s still “warm" body. A boot emblem? No, that won't do either. NO! It shall go to the great highway in the sky, its dignity intact! It will be whole when it goes to meet the great manufacturer!

To take a line from the manliest movie of all, Babe… No not the one about the guy who played baseball, the one about the little talking pig. In the movie, the duck character warns the other animals that Christmastime was near, and that one would have to die in order to supply the family’s Christmas feast. It is at this point in the movie that the duck proclaims in a panic duckish voice “Christmas means carnage!”  By the way, the duck's girlfriend later became duck ala'orange for the farmer's feast...

So, it’s with that inspiration that I proclaim that Cash for Clunkers means CARNAGE! It is as such that the sound of the thousands of engines being put to such a needless, unglorious death will act as a requiem to cars around the world. To all who have gone before, I pour a quart on the curb…

(Note: I won’t actually be pouring a quart on the curb as oil is rather pricey, and I’m sure the EPA, another wise government entity, would surely frown upon this...)