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SEPTEMBER 14, 2009 12:18PM

His "Meal"

Rate: 78 Flag

Yesterday we headed to Toronto's Harbourfront area to check out a combination Vegetarian-Jazz festival. It was my wife's birthday and it would have been a tragic waste to spend one of the last warm days of the season inside.

We're not vegetarians by any stretch.  I'm a stubborn carnivore; however I'm trying to become more aware of what I'm putting into my body. I found the veggie booths interesting, although my palate requires a major overhaul in order to enjoy most of the protein replacement foods that were offered.  Ugh! hemlock oil... still can't get the taste out.

 But we did enjoy the music portion. I don't like all jazz music, but this was tasteful. Some jazz is over the top. I can't get into a piece that has no melody, and if a solo consists of a player endlessly running through crazy scales to impress the audience, they've lost me.

I was impressed by this band which consisted of young players in their early 20's, very accompliced musicians for their age I thought.  They played interesting jazz renditions of songs by Radiohead and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Harbourfront is an interesting place. If you ever spend any time in Toronto, its well worth checking out.  Restaurants, pubs, street magician's, bands, booths, a sailing school and of course great shopping all great highlites.  The area draws people from all walks of life. The rich, the not-so-rich, and the unfortunates.

 It was when the family all sat on the green synthetic grass lawn enjoying the music that I first noticed him.  He took off a slightly shabby jacket and spread it out close us.  There was something about him that distracted my attention from the music. 

He looked homeless.  It seemed it may have happened recently.  His ballcap was slightly worn, as were his shoes.  His pants and shirt weren't clean, but not filthy. He looked to be a young man in his early twenties. As he sat watching the band and listening I saw a slight smile cross his face. He was enjoying himself. 

Corn on the cob was available in one of the booths. As the music played people slowly realized this and one by one went to pay $2 to get their own. 

I watched him as he watched others eating their corn. After a time he took scant change from his jeans pocket and sat their counting it out, deliberating with himself.

He got up and for the first time communicated  with anyone around him. 

He asked me, "Could you please watch my jacket for a minute, I'd like to save my spot?"

"Sure, no problem", was my response.

He returned a short time later with his corn and sat back down on his jacket.  His consumption of it seemed beautiful somehow to me. I was surprised at how slowly he ate the rows one by one. There were long paused between bites.  There were times when he seemed to study the cob.  At times he placed the cob on his shirt so he could politely applaud when a song had ended. 

After a long time his "meal" was over.

I wondered at what cost was his meal? What proportion of his "income" had he utilized? 

My soul was  warmed realizing he was able to enjoy the festival,  music and beautiful day along with the rest of us. I also thought about the coming winter months and the challenges faced by those who, either by choice or circumstance live on the streets of our cities.

When the jazz was over everyone slowly dispersed. 

A little later we were entertained by a street magician; my kids giddly after being selected from the crowd to assist.

When the day was over we walked along the waterfront towards our van, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing.

 Teenage girls standing by a park bench yelling, "Take a picture of us with the bum Daddy! Take a picture of us with the homeless guy!"

And there he was, laying down on a bench in the shade not bothering or hurting anyone. The young man from the festival; victimized by heartless young girls for their cruel entertainment.

He sat up, embarassed, staring at the ground. He rose to his feet and disappeared into the crowd.

I stood there and wept. 

 I do as I write this....

 

 

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Stunning. Heartbreaking. Absolutely SHOCKING ending. This left me speechless. I am weeping with you too.
When I read something like this, there is a very specific face I see on the disheveled young man. A face I once held between my hands. A man I loved more than I thought it was possible to love anybody. He was not your young man (mine, if still alive, is twice that age). But knowing and loving that man taught me too much about the soul inside the not-clean, not-dirty clothes. I am shaken and shaking. When did kindness become contemptible, and cruelty a quality to be admired? I fear for us all.
Devastating! I've seen this happen, too. Homeless people used as photo props. Sad sad sad. You go from one moment, joyful at the good stuff -- free music, savoring food -- to another of despair at the human race, recognizing that people can be so cold & shallow & cruel.
Wow, the divide between the 'haves' and 'have nots' is so wide, and so horrible. Thanks for the post! Rated
Compassion is something learned at home, and unfortunately, those parents failed to teach their children.

What a sad, sad story.
What Cartouche said....
I felt like the wind was just knocked completly out of me.
Shameless behavior on the part of the young girls. I would have given the "bum" six months of their allowance and forced them to go without.
Some things never change.
there can be a time in one's life when one is so young and strong that it's possible to ignore the reality of time and circumstances and distance one's self from humanity, as though being human requires a certain income strata or skin color or nationality.

there can also be a state of mind that gives permission to ignore the needs and wants of living things that we share our lives with at any given time and make them something we use and cast off because to stop and care will somehow dirty us.
Touching, infuriating and insightful, all at the same time. What's wrong with people today? These kids were obviously spoiled, with too much disposable income to spend on cell phones and Starbucks. And, of course, zero compassion. If this man had been a dog, they would have showered him with affection.

R.
And the parent(s) allowed this behavior? That's the other sad part of the story.
Deeply saddening but not surprising. This world has become infected with a level of heartlessness that has not been seen since the Dark Ages.
Very well written and heartbreaking.
...There but for fortune go you or I...
A heartbreaking comment on the lack of value some place on their fellow humans. heartbreaking.
I to am weeping. I spent three years of my life off and on homeless. In my case it was ninety percent my fault. I have been connected to the homeless issue since and the insanity of it all is how inhumane we can be to each other.
Beautiful and heartbreaking
rated
Why does the greatest country on earth still watch as a true heart breaks?....
It is indeed profoundly sad. Like others who have commented, I am curious about the response of the parents in question. We learn what we are taught, actively or passively. If they did not condemn such behaviour, they were passively condoning it. And that is a very, very sad statement on our society.
Unfortunately, I've seen this before in Manhattan. Disgusting behavior. But weeping is not enough.

The guy on the bench is us, godammit. We have to find a way to help or else we are part of the problem.

This just frustrates the crap outta me.
::wiping tears::
And I too, want to know what the parents did. How horrible if they let it be....
Just confirms the adage about young people "not knowing what they don't know." Gut wrenching.
I've not been that guy, but I've been close enough to understand how it feels to be that guy, the way it feels when you've had an okay day, and you're just trying to keep that vibe . . . and the humiliation of someone's contempt for circumstances they have no way to grasp. Damn.
it is the fact that they are not seen that is more often the problem.
Cartouche sent me here, and the title of her post is perfect: Gut Punch. I am stunned at the cruelty.
Good on you 5-10 or so for having your eyes open and noticing the beauty of this individual. Puts things in perspective doesn't it.
To him an ear of corn was a gourmet meal; a luxury.

The crassness of those girls is beyond disgusting. I know for a fact that my son knows better than that, as he sees the struggles we go through and realizes that we are one sickness, one accident, one turn of bad luck from being out there too.
A very sad story -- and beautifully written.
teenagers are cruel, but what gets them to that point?
We really need to examine where all human compassion has gone and why. Have we confused empathy and caring for those who are hurting with weakness? I am appalled by the callousness of others, on a daily basis usually.
I wonder how that family will feel if they should happen to succumb to the financial turmoil we're all in. I wonder if they'll pose with more well-off people whose kids want their picture taken with a bum.
I wonder if I would have had the courage to say something to them or if I would have been too stunned to even open my mouth. I hope I never have to find out.

What is happening to the kids out there? How do we wake them up?
That is just so sad.

I used to be one of those little girls.

When my sister and I were girls our parents would take us up to Chicago for a weekend to see the sights. We were probably 10 to 12 years old. (Not yet teenagers who were too cool to spend a weekend in the city with the folks.) I remember one time outside the Water Tower, my sister and I were running around, being goofy kids, when we came upon a homeless man who had obviously suffered severe burns. His face was a contorted mask and he was totally hairless. Being kids from the suburbs, we'd never seen something like that before except in movies. When Brooke and I ran around a pillar and came face to face with this poor man we both gasped quite audibly and ran back to our parents in shock. They shushed us and explained to us as well as they could. Once we had some time to process it we both felt awful. But I will never forget the look in that man's eyes. I've never seen such sorrow in a pair of eyes. We broke his heart. I can still see that look today, and so can my sister. I can only hope that those little girls remember that incident and use it to find compassion for those less fortunate. I know I did.
How can one not cry? You told this tragedy beautifully.
Poor people find much joy in the simple things in life. Trust me. I know.
I've also always had deep feelings for the homeless. Their survival skills are legendary. Most would likely parish to walk a mile in their shoes, yet so many don't realize that they are so close to that becoming their own reality. The ranks of the homeless get larger by the day. It requires a whole new learning curve for those without some sort of safety net.
We have a huge influx of homeless that head to Florida each winter from all corners of the country. I long ago coined them the Invisible Americans.
Many hide the best they can while 'Civilized" people turn their heads when confronted by them so as not to meet their eyes. Others find pleasure in verbal and physical abuse of them. It is a pathetic sight to behold and makes one wonder about the future of the human race.
The father of the children should be ashamed, as the girls should have been, but I'm afraid that cruelty to others is not something that we will see an end to anytime soon.
A great piece of writing about an age old problem. I tip my hat to you.
what did the "daddy" do or say? I am hoping he set those girls straight, but I am guessing not.

what a sad sad commentary on how the next generation is being raised. haven't we had enough with the rude, compassionless group already?

any of us could be that guy.
Such are the dangers of causing privilege to come to close to those who have none. The lack of compassion in the girls is an example of the insensitivity to the problems of society in general. Those girls didn't come up with that on their own, they mimicked what they had learned in schools and in their homes and with their peers.
Thank you for sharing. The writing was fantastic and I felt as if I was in the park with you and your family. Your description of the young man was haunting and a stark reminder. Thank you for this.
Gorgeous depiction of the many walks of life and the great mix of emotions one finds within them.
Rated 100 times if I could, but once for sure
Wow.
This is a horror story, made out of real horrors.
Unfortunately, too common and too true, as my latest post asserts. What have we wrought???
Horrifying. People become objects to other people. What happened to respect? Those kids probably ask wheelchair users how they got hurt. Sure, it's reasonable to share a traumatic, life-changing experience with a total stranger.
I have long had "daymares" about ending up living out of a grocery cart. Sometimes I think about issues like going to the bathroom, bathing, communicating (how would you plug in rechargers), getting around with no money and no transportation. I think, there but for the grace of God go I. And I make sure to respect the person and his or her dignity.
I'm speechless.....thank you for sharing your story.
I had a fairly startling experience with a homeless woman just last night here in Ashland, OR. It left me nearly sleepless, and put a face on the issue of homeless people, who represent a growing population. It is a sad sign of the times.
I thank you all for your comments. Truly.

I had no idea when I went to work in the back of the shop that these would be waiting for me.

Some have asked about the response of the parent. Unfortuately, I don't know. As quickly as the young man faded into the crowd, so did the family.

However, my wife and I did use this as a life lessons opportunity for our girls. I can only hope the same for the dad in question.

John Blumenthal's dog comment reminded me of something else yesterday. A vegetarian booth displaying a poster with the following statements: YOUR FOOD and then YOUR PET
Above each caption was an image of the same rabbit.

Tragic irony that some forget about humanity while claiming to be humane.
That is so sad... and I want to bitchslap the child and her parents for not teaching her any better.
What an absolute shame that people feel they have the power to do this. I was a shit as a kid but I never even thought of doing anything like this. Brilliant post.
I live in a world of my own making I guess I know people do this but I never see it. To hear that these children would dare to talk to someone like that, like they weren't worthy of being human......it is so disturbing. I am afraid I would have followed them to their car and had to say something. We have all said things we wished we hadn't. This doesn't seem like one of those moments. How heartbreaking for the young man and for those who heard it.
heartbreaking. those girls can only be the results of their upbringing. my son will never confuse cruelty for entertainment, and never mistake a fellow human for a bum.

i am sorry for you and for that man and for those girls, too - to not have been taught better. but not for the parents who failed to teach them. hideous.
This is the growing reality --- a complete disconnect between the homeless and "the rest of us." Many of "the rest of us" simply do not give a damn. It is heartbreaking how apathy is so completely acceptable in our culture.
Very heartbreaking.. I can't believe the ending about him being victimized by those young girls, while he wasn't doing anything to anyone.. OH how sad.. Sad fact is that it could some day be any of us..
Great and very touching post..
The shame is on the parents
Verbal Remedy said it all, so true is the state of our society and so sad that compassion is near extinct.
Isn't this just the best country in the world?

Sentimental and true.

Rated.
It is sad and shocking but not new. ForeverMom remembers being very young, many (50+) years ago, and wearing a new-to-her dress. She still remembers one schoolmate, announcing loudly in front of others, that said dress was one of her old ones that her mother had donated to the 'poor box' recently.
~rocco and rusty
Your story here shows that you really 'saw' this man, and did a wonderful job showing him to us. How sad those girls (and possibly their Dad) didn't take the time to recognize his humanity. Thanks for sharing this.
The children are our future...and this are what they are being taught. Frightening. xox
How heart-breaking. I was just reading some garbage in the NY Times "Styles" section about "Homeless Chic." It's not chic, dammit! It's evil and criminal that there should be any homeless people at all in the richest country in the world.
There but for the grace of God go I. Thanks for sharing with us and for reminding all of us. R
Americans haven't cornered the market in heartlessness, it seems to lurk like a slow-growing tumor within mankind everywhere.

The thing is, no matter how many programs exist to provide shelter and treatment ( for mental illness, alcoholism and/or drug dependency), there will always be some who reject all help, either because of pride, the illness the suffer from, or fear. That those teenagers should ridicule this unfortunate soul says much about the terrible rot of their own souls, with their parents and our society at large. While there is a huge and growing gap between the rich and the poor the line between having some and having none is thin indeed, for many a mere paycheck away, or a course of unemployment that has run out. Look around at all the foreclosures, or the families that are now living in 25 foot rvs that used to be their vacation vehicles.
whats the problem?
the guy should have put his arms around the young girls and smiled for the camera.
Im impressed that the girls found him entertaining and not depressing. can the same be said for you? and others in the comments?
Unfortunately, nothing shocks me any longer. But my sense of outrage is still intact. If their parents didn't have the decency and character to stop those spoiled, ignorant children, I would have stepped in and stopped it.

It's not enough to deplore the madness that goes on around us; we must be willing to take steps to end it when we can, on whatever level we can.
I read this yesterday, but couldn't comment. It was too upsetting. I wanted to go down to Harbourfront immediately and find him and buy him lunch.

There are far too many on our streets these days. At the very least, if I cannot stop or if I do not have change at the ready, I always make a point to look them in the eye and acknowledge their humanity. There was a woman who used to stand on the corner of Danforth and Broadview. She admittedly had some mental health issues, but she was bright and cheery and we always talked. From talking to her, I knew that she had a permanent home and some help with her meds etc. She's been gone for awhile, but I think about her everytime I pass that corner.

You sound like a good dad. I hope you pass your humanity on to your kids...well, I am sure you will.
Beautiful story, beautifully told. Thanks for the reminder to be compassionate. Rated
This just breaks my heart. Perhaps you will see him again some day and can offer some understanding...
oh my god....

: (


And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by...
just to clarify, that was a quote from Crosby Stills and Nash's "teach your children well". .. it's what sprung to mind when I read about those ignorant children in this heartwrenching story (a story that I'll not soon forget)
I've come to this late, and was knocked over. It reminded me of an experience I had earlier this summer, in a local grocery store, watching an elderly couple count out in change to buy two cans of beans and a box of macaroni and cheese. I could tell by their appearance, by their affect, by their demeanor, this was not a little shopping trip for a couple of items--this was likely their food for the next several days, and it was heartwrenching to watch.
Excellent post. You wrote what I've often thought.

And vzn, what planet are you from? Your comment is beyond inappropriate; you just don't get it do you?
The saddest part is that everyone finds this acceptable, that "that's the breaks". Reality is we engender it and then feel bad afterwards.
A very moving story. Those girls won't be any happier during their lives. There will be some karmic payback. Or maybe they're just heading for the kind of frustrating, empty life of the heartless.
:-(

People never cease to disappoint me.........
I just found this piece. Beautiful writing. A horrible, horrible occurrence. What hope is there for any of us?
Cartouche's post sent me here. I am weeping too.
I guess... I guess I'm just too old?

This is not my earth, my place, my people. I do not understand. I am baffled.
Deeply touching. Lovely writing.
What has happened to compassion and empathy? Surely teenagers have been known to be quite cruel, but I believe it's more than that. This nouveau chic of apathy, and cruelty.It does cause me to weep as well.
Rated