When I got home last night my daughter was sitting on her princess potty toilet training bowl covered in sweat. My wife was holding her up and cradling her head. She leaned forward just enough where I could see a gigantic log of shit partially poking its head from her ass.  The whimpers that came from my daughter broke my heart.  I quickly jumped on my bike and raced around town, buying prunes in every form, from every store I could find.  I found organic pitted ones from the health food store, and prune juice and chocolate covered plums from the grocery store.

When I got home ready to do battle with every type of prune under the sun, my daughter had collapsed into my wife’s arms, and the giant offending poo sat at the bottom of the bowl.  It’s a good thing too, because if the prunes hadn’t worked I was prepared to pull that fucker out of her with my bare hands and wrestle it to the ground, then stomp the living shit out of it.