I'm not sentimental and not often nice. I find it difficult to find nice things about my parents - my mother, especially.

She acts like she's 5. Sometimes, a 5 year old is even more mature than she is. She worries and stresses and bitches about the tiniest things. Change is a black hole in her mind - it must be avoided, even when all that's here is making her miserable.

I could list off every quality about her, and most would be negative. But, she's my mother and today is where I must dig really deep for the positive things about her and show my appreciation.

For 9 months, she carried me - after 10 years and 10 months from having my sister, that is. She houses me and feeds me and cares for me. If I felt I could trust her and open up to her, I know she's there to talk to, but I don't feel comfortable talking to my parents. Even though I may come off as a disappointment - between my music, my attitude and my lack of obedience - I know she loves me. (She really has no choice.)

She could be much worse. She could be a drug addict, an alcoholic, neglective or abusive. I'm thankful she is none of those, but if she were, I'd feel much less guilty about disliking her so much. Still, I see all these posts about how everyone's mom is so cool and understanding and how they trust her so much and I just wish I had a mom who could be a friend, too.

One thing's for sure, though. She does the best she can, and she raised two wonderful daughters. (Maybe because we don't want to be like her, but it still counts.)