Things I Think About

I really want to go to a theme park.

- Am I too big for the bar to lock in place?

            Yes: 0_o

            No: I can go.

- Can the contraptions… Read full post »

If I was a Starfleet Officer, I would be a high ranking admiral that traveled around the timeline via some experimental device. I would fix the timeline issues that would otherwise destroy the Federation, and I would be likened to a legend in Starfleet. Once every decade, I would come and… Read full post »

I mean this. I really mean this. In the past three hours, I’ve had as many cases of “if you’d just read it, you’d know what’s going on”. This is basic Work 101. You’re taught in school at a very early age to pay attention to the instructions. Why doesn’… Read full post »

Somewhere between the door to the Accounting Office and the area in which my Boss and I work there is a gigantic void where all lines of communication drop in and are never seen nor heard from again.

If you were to see my office, you would think that… Read full post »

You know, just because I don’t do your job doesn’t mean I don’t understand a few things about the system. I know things. Truly, I do know something.

 I’ve been here longer than you have.

 I’ve dealt with this system more than you have.

 I was here at… Read full post »

There’s a popular card company that has an incredibly popular line of ecards. One of the cards has a character walk into his cubical and sit down. We can’t actually see him behind the cubical wall, but we can hear him wailing at the top of his lungs as he sobs… Read full post »

My boss made a comment the other day that make me go “Buh?”

We had the radio on a country station, and a Reba McEntire song came on. For me, Reba is a Goddess-Among-Singers. One of my coworkers, ‘Stan’, said, “Oh, and she [Reba] is just about the worst. I think… Read full post »

I realize that there is this bizarre pop culture mentality that states that, when a woman is with other women or group of women and needs to go to the restroom, she will always go with at least one other female.

Let me lay this down for you guys out there.… Read full post »

This weekend was Dallas’ St. Patrick’s Day Marathon and Parade. It’s a grand thing that happens on McKinney Avenue. First, there’s a 5K. Instead of giving you water at the stations, you can get beer. While the runners are doing their thing, everyone comes out and lines up al… Read full post »

I work with a middle aged lady. She’s nice enough, and she’s about 5 or 10 pounds over weight. The other day, she came into my cubical and said, “Man, I have GOT to go on a diet. Look at this,” at which point she pulls up her shirt to show… Read full post »

Right... so I'm a big girl. I don't mean "fluffy" or "big boned". I mean I'm fat. You know, over weight, morbidly obese, so large I'll eventually get my own zip code?

 I'm not proud of the fact. I'm not out there joining BBW clubs. To be perfectly honest BBW… Read full post »