NOVEMBER 6, 2009 3:07PM

May All Your Dreams Come True (fiction)

Rate: 9 Flag

Tracy Haight knew better.  She KNEW better.  When someone yells "CLEAR!", you back away from the bed.  She just wanted to tape the IV a little better - Mr. Hooper was in V Fib, sweating like a pig, and they were about to lose the IV, which they really REALLY needed.  So, when Dave Evans, the ER doc, defibrillated him for the third time, Mr, Hooper got his heartbeat back at the same moment that Tracy was knocked back onto the floor.

"Shit!", said Dave.  "What happened?"

"Tracy was touching him when you did the last shock," said her friend Joe, the nurse who'd been recording.  He'd dropped the clipboard on the floor and was kneeling next to Tracy.

"Jesus, she's unconscious.  She's bleeding - she's got a big scalp lac on the back of her head."

While Mr. Hooper gradually gained consciousness and looked on curiously, they slid Tracy onto a backboard and onto the next gurney, and hooked her up to the monitor.  She had a regular heartbeat but the numbers in her blood pressure were getting farther apart, a sign that the pressure in her brain was rising from getting whacked.  In the finite space inside her skull, her brain was swelling like a bruised muscle.  Her breathing increased to try to compensate, but she felt herself pulled away, away.

"Get her in a c-collar",  Joe yelled.  "The last thing she needs is to wake up paralyzed.  SARAH?  Can you take over on the guy next door?  He'll need an amiodarone drip; he's starting to have runs of V Tach again."

Tracy could hear Joe, sort of.  Mostly she saw strange, swirling things in the darkness.  Sort of a mystical black velvet painting, which she found much more compelling than the mundane chaos of the ER.  "Black velvet painting", she thought.  "How tacky."

"Tracy!  Tracy, can you hear me?   I can't believe this.  Her right pupil's dilating.  Call CT and tell them we have a stat one."

Becky, the ER manager came in. "What the hell's going on?  Everybody's running around like they'd never seen an emergency".   Then, "Oh. . ." 

"She didn't 'Clear'", said Joe. 

"She's breathing at 32, and her pulse pressure's widening," said Becky, starting an IV while Joe was rolling Tracy off to CT. 

Tracy didn't react to the IV.  Not even a flinch.


Dave and Becky stood in the room, suddenly quiet save for Mr. Hooper's regularly beeping monitor.

"So, Mr. Hooper," Dave said, " you've had an exciting visit to the Emergency Room!  You doin' OK?" 

Mr. Hooper smiled and gave him a tired "thumbs up".   "She alright?" he asked.

"I hope so," said Dave.  "I hope so."


Outside the door, Dave said, "I guess we better call her family. Anybody know them?"

Becky did.  She knew Tracy's husband had left recently, and she was raising a 13 year old girl on her own.   Sophie, that was it.  Sophie the latchkey kid.  She called Tracy's house.


"Hi - Sophie?"

"Yeah.  Who's this?"

This is Becky, at Memorial.  I work with your Mom.  Something's happened.  Is there anybody you can call?"

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So, I'm going to try to write something fiction-y every morning, even if it's drivel. For this, I ask your forgiveness. And your feedback. This is what you call a public commitment.
Writing everyday is a good thing. Adding some reality to fiction adds believability. Have fun with it. ~R~
First of all....Your use of the correct medical jargon leads creadance to your story and gives the reader the feel of authority...I liked that.

Secondly....ARE you going to expand this very intriguing story? I certainly hope so cause I'm kinda hooked on it and when I'm hooked on a story I tend to write parts of it in my head, which leads to headaces, which leads to copius amounts of Gin to take away the pain. So please, don't make me drink Gin....expand this great story.

Oh, Torman, you dog. FINE. I'll write more. I'm actually working on the second installment - I'm thinking it might be a little more than a short story.

Thanks so much for the encouragement, both of youse. Torman, have you published any of your fine fiction?

Stay away from that gin. Be strong.
AHC...All the stories that I plan on using for Fiction Friday have been published in my book of short stories called: Keeper of the Word which can be found here:
Torman: Cool! Are these things you've written in the past, or are you making them up as they appear? Great writing. More poetic than mine, just now - I think I'm in a Stephen King phase. I'm reading "On writing" by him.

Also stay away from the bourbon. You saw what happened to Abraham Jones.
AHC---this is like watching a boxing match. Just terrific! And both of us wrote about dreams today.
I liked this a lot!
------Even More Aging hippie guy
Love this!!! Especially the personal/professional experience part. Keep going, my dear!
Chapter two.....hurry!
Wow! Thanks, guys! It's in the works - coming tomorrow. Then, maybe a couple days, because my Mom broke her hip tonight, and I'm going down to be with her when she goes to surgery. Ah, life. . . She's doing pretty well, considering. Love to my e-pals.
I like it.
I like the sense of being an insider in an ER. And not on TV.
I like the natural dialogue.

You are on the right track. Keep writing and stop thinking and don't edit too much until you have 7500 words. Also, an offbeat sex scene would be nice. Just keep love out of it.
Not necessary in EVERY book, Nick. Thanks for the input! AHC
Dude, I'm hooked on the story already - what a great hook! On to part 2 (sometimes tardiness has its privileges)
Gripping! You got me!
Sorry about your job and your mom! OW! When it rains, it pours! Sending Love Light Laughter Joy and Peace to you and yours!
I started with part 6, on to part 2!
terse, controlled, multi-layered so much hanging on the right word/action driving the pace and consequences of the ER reality.
I'm sure we've all asked ourselves but never saw the result of what can happen when..."she didn't clear." Nice.