Ok, it's a weird picture, but it shows the SIZE of the bite that took over my body this weekend and resulted in me having a high fever Sunday night. (That's my right side, my shirt is lifted. First picture of myself I've posted!) The doctor circled it in magic marker Monday (should that be a song? "Just Another Magic Marker Monday") saying I should call Thursday if it got bigger. It seems contained for now
It got that big in two days. It started Saturday morning. I was like."Honey, will you look at this?, "Honey, can you look at this again?" "Um, Kevin, is this a lot bigger?" all weekend.
I'm not sure if you can tell , but it's the size of...a mango? It's big, and it's tender and now it itches around the edges.
Anyway, now I have to take Doxycycline for two weeks, which sucks because, well, antibiotics literally make me sick, plus what else is being killed in there! Yes, please get the bad spider venom neutralized, but what else ya gonna attack, huh? The seat of my soul resides in there somewhere. I would hate to see that destroyed along with my intestinal flora.
I'm doing pro-biotics and the straight cranberry juice - shudder - along with the Doxy, as a chaser. I will slay the yeast before it comes!
So, many of my spiritual friends would say this is a manifestation. That it is a sign of something -a vulnerability that needs to be healed, an outward expression of negative things (thoughts, actions, the past) that need to work them selves OUT literally.
I usually agree with these assessments, because stress certainly tears down the bodies capability for immunity. I'm not referencing OS stress here at all - more that everything I've been carrying - with my really intense jobs, my mother being diagnosed with pre-leukemia, the same stress as everyone else about money and debt and bills - can be simply summed up in a gigantic sore that just BLOOMS in 36 hours. AAAARRRRGGGHHH!
I'm not letting the spider off the hook, or the web. I just feel like, having to acknowledge my own skin and my own well being made me realize I'm useless to everyone if I'm not taking care of myself.
Looking forward to yoga tomorrow, and also a BBQ with friends and fireworks on Friday. Although the fireworks will be rained out as it has not stopped raining for 30 days straight here in Massachusetts.
Maybe the antibiotics also fight mold ...
****UPDATE: Just got a call from the Dr. saying I tested positive for Lyme. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. They're talking to an infectious disease specialist to figure out what I do next. More antibiotics? Or is it incurable? Anyone know anything about Lyme?