I was five when my father took me to a sunrise service, two dozen people and the countless dead in the cemetery for the news of the resurrection, my father the pastor claiming that rebirth is possible. I did not see any souls rising, although today the fog is like a thousand ghosts. Years later, I drove by that cemetery with my mother, just after she was told her blood would kill her, and she confirmed that Easter ritual had happened.
You would think, given the circumstances, that some idea of the immense suffering and THEN the crucifixion would have had some impact. But no - it was at best a concept, played out in simple hymns and words that never resonated. I never understood the holy ghost, except for the eerie feeling that I could eat it, wafer thin, and wash it down with blood.
It took death for me to yell at God, the God I still don't quite believe in but turn to when I suffer. I never turn to Jesus, but am appalled at what he was made to suffer, as I am appalled by what suffering is imposed all across this planet. I see the bloody crucifixion every day and post about it on Facebook - laptop activist. I lull myself into complacency - and that is not Jesus' fault.
I have a sort of PTSD (generalized term) because someone tried to kill me, so my instinct for self preservation is very tensile. Unlike Jesus, I fought to the end - but also, unlike Jesus, it was just me and there was no greater point to prove beyond staying alive. I'm not sure a near death experience allows me to relate to the Lord, but I think about his last days in that selfish way. "What Would Alison Do?" Run far, far away.
Regroup, gather some more believers, and keep on being Jesus! I think that's what bothers me - the sacrifice part, which is rich in all mythology. (and I'm not calling the bible mythology. I'm also not calling mythology a bunch of bibles).
I suppose the funny thing (both ha ha and weird) is that I call out to God, just like Jesus did, when I am in my most desperate times. The fact that this never happens while being crucified is significant of course, so all Jesus comparisons will end now, although I kind of relate to him.
I grew up in church and rituals, and know the basic stories, but today I contemplate how the story might have been different. I think about the stories in the bible and wonder how literally it is all supposed to be taken.
At the same time, I think deeply about the brutality of capital punishment at that time, and glaring errors in justice and judgement. How Jesus' message was one of peace. How he suffered and died for his beliefs. And I think of other remarkable people who have done so.
Dr. King and Ghandi come to mind. Can you add some others who also lived their words?
And if not, can you pass me the chocolate bunny immediately? ok thanks.
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Sometimes I ask myself if there is a God why does he let all this suffering go on?
Maybe this is what it is all about. We suffer because He suffered.
I cannot explain it any way else. I really cannot.
But is it up to us to question or just absorb...
Love to you. Ya dont like my hugs:) but I am sending you all the love I can muster up.
Be sensitive for one minute or go to a church?
For some reason? Goofy clowns are preachers.
Wiped-out Quacks gravitate to politics to preach.
I know a loco neighbor. It very casual. She lovable.
But, She's in relation with a great Loco. Loco Good!
I am mentioning 'LOCO' in that they discern Phony!
She was raised in a Preacher's House. She's like You.
She has self examined herself. She's always a bundle.
She always surprises me. She can make me blush pink.
Once in awhile I dreamt we sipped holy wine. Hick's cup.
She's someone you sense ... wonder what ... If ever alone?
`
It be a hail storm.
A sign reads`
`
"No Touch."
`
No half-loco.
No half-naked.
No write silly stuff.
P.K.'a are special saints.
Preacher's kids grow up.
Some make great lovers.
Hug?
Get compound fractures.
You more fun than trees.
Trees no hug good as aim.
This seems fitting to quote right now:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
(I like to change the end to "Thou canst not then be false to anyone" so the women aren't left out.)
But coming up with names of those who were/are true to themselves is difficult. Gandhi, yes. King, yes. I believe that Ralph Nader and Glenn Greenwald have resisted selling their souls. And Elizabeth Warren. Amy Goodman. Daniel Ellsberg, still much-discussed, who has said that Bradley Manning's actions were just like his own, and that he considers him a hero.
From history: Vincent van Gogh, if I can believe his depiction in Irving Stone's Lust for Life.
Sophie Scholl, the university student who stood up to Hitler and died for her actions. (I've linked to the movie, available at YouTube.)
Martin Luther, despite his antisemitism. He pitted himself against the obscene corruption of the sixteenth century Catholic Church as he attempted reform before finally giving up and starting fresh. On trial for his "heretical" writings, Luther considered a retraction, but ended up confessing before the Diet of Worms: "Unless I am convinced by proofs from Scriptures or by plain and clear reasons and arguments, I can and will not retract, for it is neither safe nor wise to do anything against conscience. Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me. Amen."
I'll stop here, and will enjoy reading others' comments about those who lived "to thine own self be true."
Maybe we can add Mother Teresa to your list? The Dalai Lama?
~r
Snippy: Thanks so much! I have watched that movie - Sophie Scholl - and think she is among the pantheon. Thanks so much for readin this and contributing so many great people.
I agree with all of your choices - Nader and Amy Goodman (I have met her - she is so tiny and fierce) and especially like the choice of Martin Luther. My father was protestant (UCC and Church of Scotland) and my family is Episcopalian (thank you Henry VII but all the wrong reasons to break with the papacy). Although his lust was equal to the Popes at that time. It cracks me up that most Catholics won't delve into their own history and see the Popes as they were - greedy, lustful men - and just claim the church as their own. Kind of like Henry but without the beheadings.
I would love to see a rebellion against the Vatican, and for Catholics to make their own churches - and, as the sister of an openly gay Episcopalian priest, well, I wish they would join in the beauty of of an open church.
"Diet of Worms" Now THERE'S a title for a post!
Joan: Dalai Lama of course. Mother Theresa most likely - she reminds me of my long suffering Scottish aunties, most of whom never married due to all the young men being killed. My father survived. became a pastor. It's all a big story. (Your NOT MOM sailor jeans are awesome btw.)
Nancy - If I don't make you laugh I am not doing my job! I mean, c'mon, I compare myself to Christ - right there should be cause for guffaws! BTW - thanks for your love and friendship.
Rita - don't go down that path! WWAD will veer more than even you could - zig zag and end up back at square one. I absorb words and wisdom from you, dear friend.
Thank you matt! I have no idea where it comes from - but i guess i'm good at lots of words in a row, and am flattered that they make sense to you!
Leonde: Thank you. Your comment is a post in and of itself. How to get there? Today i am slightly happy, but most days are grim and I don't have the strength of martyrs or leaders. I run away. But I'm good at joining and organizing.
I agree matt, with those who will surrender power for a greater good...now I'm thinking of Lech Walesa and Vaclev Havel (dreamy!)
Martyrs are all well and good, but then there's just the man or woman who stands up and demands to be counted, and is never named.
Tim Hetherington (sp?) who was killed in Libya, a photojournalist who made "Restrepo", the most amazing look into the reality of our war.
I don't place myself in heroic situations - I hope I would stand straight and tall when asked to make the right choice rather than the convenient choice.
But I'm not sure. I suppose I do, in my work, but I always wonder...run away, run away!
My mom and the dad who raised me both are people like that. Neither are church going, although my mom is Christian, but both believe in service to others and bringing more good to the world than harm. I will never have the faith of my mother to support me, but my father's own lack of faith has not stopped him from needing to make the world a better place. As I try to figure out my own faith, I find myself grateful that even if the rituals didn't stick, at least the intentions did. :)
Speaking of that, I need to go shower and get dressed, my mutti takes this holiday very seriously and I need to honor her beliefs.
I'm a scientist, so my mind turns to the many scientists who, once punished as heretics, were later found to have been right.
Galileo, of course, springs to mind first; "Can any human being ever reach that kind of light?"
Ignaz Semmelweis, early discoverer of the germ theory of infection, who was sent to the insane asylum where he died.
While not punished quite so dramatically, Darwin, Einstein, and Wegener (continental drift) were all (and, in the case of Darwin, still are) widely ridiculed before their theories were accepted. For that matter, witness the ridiculing of Al Gore et al. re: climate change.
Manning and Assange also come to mind, though others have mentioned their names already.
Excellent post!
We have been having some similar conversation here today.
I believe: Love is more powerful than anything.
The rest is detail.
I wanted to come back also to say that my husband and my grandfather were two people who lived by their words. Both honest and kind and dependable. The kind of men you could count on. My grandfather was fairly religious, my husband is an atheist. Makes no difference, apparently. xo
Thank you for this lovely, pensive post.
Most religious trauma comes from religious people. I am in charge of my religion now, and people do come along from time to time with good stuff.
Rated.
I never understood the holy ghost, except for the eerie feeling that I could eat it, wafer thin, and wash it down with blood.
I'm not calling the bible mythology. I'm also not calling mythology a bunch of bibles. . .
Dude . . . this piece makes me think, laugh, and feel . . . what could be better? You are a wonder . . . please, take this chocolate bunny with my compliments . . .