"We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us and we drown. " - T.S. Eliot
Who killed Mia Zapata?
We closed in, we regarded each other with suspicion - but we also reached out to make sure it would never happen again. An organization called Home Alive was founded. We did street activism, spray painting the outline of a body on street corners - in hopes that the person stepping off the curb might look up and look around and ask themselves about their own safety and the safety of others.
Home Alive remained a vital organization for years - an organization dedicated to giving free access to self defense workshops and raising public awareness about assault, sexual assault, domestic violence and abuse.
The personal became political.The case was national news, and rumors were flying everywhere. I wasn't Mia's closest friend, so I felt the impact as waves and waves of grief and anger and suspicion, radiating from the intense shock and anger and grief for her horrible and untimely death.
However, nobody was sitting around and grieving just for the sake of grief.We could have all stopped right then - the paty is over, no more fun to be had. Go home. But we made it a cause for every person who feels unsafe on the street or in their home.
Home Alive produced an album: "Home Alive - The Art of Self Defense" (I'll hotlink things in part III - so rry, it took hours to get the video to embed.) . Every luminary from the Seattle "scene" contributed a track. Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam - but the beauty of the (double) CD is that all the tracks are scattered around - so, to listen to it, you might have to hear a spoken word poet before hearing your favorite band.
Thematically, it is a masterpiece and a journey. Unfortunately, it's hard to find except on e-bay. But you might want to check it out -I'm sure there are downloadable versions.
There were two separate but equally important things happening in the aftermath of Mia's murder. The first one - how to respond? - was dealt with through passion, guts,and the sense that none of us were safe. The second one - finding out who killed her - was more involved. Her family and bandmates hired a private detective, and there were fundraisers to support that as well. Nirvana headlined a show to raise money for the private investigation.
In the aftermath of a murder there is always a lot of media - so these two things did not neccesarily conflict, but they were very different goals. Mia was famous for all of the wrong reasons.
Finding her killer was of paramount importance. Responding as activists and making sure people recognized their own risk and their own need for personal safety was also paramount.
But at that time, we did not know who killed Mia Zapata. And no matter what, the suspicion and doubt cast a pall over everything. Everyone who was there that night was questioned, repeatedly.
I think we did more than most in terms of responding as a community of artists and musicians and poets and dreamers. Adding "Activist" to my list of accomplishments is great. How can you say that you're lucky when someone is brutally raped and murdered - yet, so many go unnoticed, and in that sense, luck was on our side.
Hope you like the song - I'll post a picture and some lyrics in Part III. Thanks, always, for reading.
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Comments
In case I forget to tell you later (too), I just made a movie, one that drags your formerly good name through a bit of filth and slime. Waiting for it to "render."
Oh
Mia, from the video?
I take it that's the case.
Damnet
Anyway, I hope the story is being told well...it's something I have needed to tell for a long time, but just got the guts to do it this year. The anniversary of her murder being, of course, a few days ago.
She changed my life when she was alive - because she was awesome - but then my life changed through her needless, sesnseless and horrible death.
Go ahead and click on other videos of The Gits - best band EVER!
~r
I can't imagine how hard this was for you to write. I don't know what to say except I'm so sorry for you and everyone. Thank you for telling it.
In the begining of the video she dedicates the song to a friend who died - Stephanie Sargeant.
Sorry if the video was confusing due to that - I should have explained that Mia was singing, not someone else singing about Mia.
Thanks again for your comments...I don't know how to respond yet. I miss Mia, I miss the Gits, I miss being young...but I am ever thankful to have found a community here who listens to me. Thank you all.
It's sensitive to the peace that we've known
And if I could take that crevice in me
I'd fill it up with all that you bleed
I was walking into the water
and I was trying not to breathe
I could feel the current pulling
and I just kept in deeper
I'm sick of the pain that you're feeling
It's weighing you down
If I could erase it all within just one dive
I wrap you precious around my soul
and now I'm letting you go
as I drown these evil spirits
and penetrate the obstacles
I feel the seaweed creeping up my skin
It's like a monster that's reaching for me
with the passion of life I've got left
i'm gonna use it to sacrifice myself
well, I dove down into the seaweed
Scared once before, but not anymore
As it twists and turns me away from the surface
Here's my chance of letting it go
I'm sick of the pain that I'm feelin
It's weighing me down
If I could erase it all
within just one fuckin' dive
I wrap you precious around my soul
and now I'm letting you go
as I drown these evil spirits
and penetrate the obstacles
(P.S. if that's your voice on the answering message, YOU GOT A SEXY VOICE TOO...what do you mean that wasn't you? ;D)
Good reminder to all, watch out for yourself, be aware of everything in the surroundings....RATED!
This is a sobering journey but still that underlying little seed of hope glimmers. Keep going with this, we'll be here..
Rated for going to look for that album.