The National Spelling Bee, that is. On Twitter. On Facebook. Or on ESPN, Thursday, May 31, 8pm EDT. [5pm here in Phoenix.] Or in my fevered memory. Or on a DVD:
Top 3 suggestions for improving the Bee:
3. Outside: more tailgate parties, so the spectators can get properly liquored up.
2. Inside: more half-naked fat guys in the audience, with painted faces and chests.
1. During: more obscenities shouted at the contestants, more booing the ref.
Update: Use George Carlin's Dirty Word Lists!