.
Alan C. Baird
- Location
- Mesa, Arizona, USA, Earth
- Bio
- Alan lives just a stone's throw from Phoenix... which is fine and dandy, until the stones are thrown back.
MY RECENT POSTS
- "I'd never marry a guy worth
less than $19B."
May 20, 2012 05:45AM - TIME Breastfeeding Cover: The
Kid's Thoughts.
May 12, 2012 07:59AM - Hot dawg!
April 22, 2012 06:33AM - Hunter on Life.
April 14, 2012 04:48AM - Nice blog, kidz. Now
genuflect.
April 11, 2012 03:25PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Kathy, I'm glad you
recognize my inherent
superiority.
Now
genuflect.”
April 12, 2011 04:19PM - “Good point,
Walter.
I just deleted a
half-dozen really nasty
comments from
other
O…”
October 09, 2010 05:33AM - “Let's bring back the
carnage!”
September 21, 2010 09:02AM - “My pleasure, David! Hope
you get a chance to see
it.”
August 17, 2010 03:56PM - “Thanks for your comment,
Gary! We all have our anvils
to
bear... ;-)”
July 07, 2010 09:09AM
Alan C. Baird's Links
AUGUST 24, 2010 4:56PM
Without You.
"Days
Go By" is a 2001 song by the band Dirty Vegas from their eponymous
album. The song became a radio hit in 2002, peaking at #14 in
the U.S., and received the Grammy Award for Best Dance Recording.
"Days Go By" received significant public exposure in a commercial
for the…
AUGUST 18, 2010 6:15PM
Killer Heartburn: executionees' last meals.
Franchise prognostication for all you eager-beaver restaurateurs out there:
1] Since the Stage Deli in NYC features menu items named after the famous and infamous, (ex: a DOLLY PARTON contains twin rolls of pastrami and corned beef),
2] And since the media scrambles to publicize the last meal choices o
…
AUGUST 17, 2010 4:41PM
Less is more.
Examples:
Little Jimmy Dickens - May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt_NjJk9gM4
Roger Miller - Do Wacka Do (give it 10 seconds):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI-Y0CMGwxo
Margaret Cho - Eat Sh*t And Die:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P01oCgnhbsQ
AUGUST 7, 2010 8:51PM
Buddhist monk searches for his master's reincarnation.
Unmistaken
Child (2008): Anikó kept bugging me, "We've got to
get this movie, we've got to get it." So, OK. Order the d*mn
movie.Yowza. What a film. This beautifully-photographed documentary provides an intimate peek into the process and rituals followed by a young Nepalese monk who searches
…
AUGUST 6, 2010 5:05AM
The song of the future has been sung.
Canadian
Railroad Trilogyby Gordon Lightfoot (1966)
1967 recording and 1971 video
There was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run
When the wild majestic mountains stood alone against the sun
Long before the white man and long before the wheel
When the green dark forest was too sile
…
AUGUST 2, 2010 6:43PM
Screenwright(R) 100,000!
Screenwright(R) formatters have passed the 100,000-downloads mark:
http://extensions.services.openoffice.org/project/scr2
http://templates.services.openoffice.org/en/user/502
http://www.facebook.com/screenw
AUGUST 2, 2010 5:51PM
You Can Call Me Al. Or else.
At
the height of his career in the late 1980s, Chevy Chase earned
around $7 million per film and was a highly visible celebrity.He appeared alongside Paul Simon, one of his best friends, in Simon's 1986 second video for "You Can Call Me Al."
(Simon didn't like the first one.)
Saturday Night Live
…
AUGUST 1, 2010 9:23AM
Wave your hands in the air like you don't care.
Word
Up!Writers: Larry Blackmon, Tomi Jenkins
Performer: Cameo
Re: Dance Week
YouTube: 12-inch version (5:54)
Yo, pretty ladies around the world
Got a weird thing to show you, so tell all the boys and girls
Tell your brother, your sister and your mama too
'Coz they're about to throw down and you'll k
…
JULY 27, 2010 8:45AM
FB f*ckup.
Something's wrong with F-book.My Wall shows only "Dislike" links.
And they produce this image:
***
Something's wrong with my computer's mouse, too.
Every time I put the cursor arrow over a Dislike link, it does this:
JULY 22, 2010 6:49PM
My two favorite news stories this week.
Fave Story #1: Ah, Philadelphia - City of Brotherly Love.
10:30am Monday, 7/19/2010: Jose LaTorre Jr., the 320-pound son of the owner of J & Son's Towing in Philadelphia, arrives at an accident scene in his Cadillac, and claims the wreck for his company. It's called wreck-chasing. Tow operators get ki
…
JULY 17, 2010 5:37AM
Snoozeletter Short Film Fest.
Bambi Meets
Godzilla (1:32) is the humorous 1969 cartoon created entirely
by Marv Newland. Less than two minutes long, the film is regarded
as a classic of animation, and in 1994 was voted #38 of the 50
Greatest Cartoons of all time.Powers of Ten (9:18) is the 1968 American documentary short
…
JULY 12, 2010 6:12PM
Facebook movie opens NY Film Fest.
JULY 10, 2010 3:23PM
Bulls 5, Melonheads 0.
5
injured in Spain's running of the bulls (AP)... which reminds
me of an old joke:Billy-Bob the tourist visits a restaurant in Pamplona, and wants to try some local food. He notices that the guy at the next table is eating a tasty-looking entrée that looks like boiled eggs, so he
…
JULY 5, 2010 6:59PM
Crap.
So you sit there, wondering why you ate those huge blocks of
cheese during the past couple of weeks, feeling like you're
carrying around an anvil inside your butt, and nothing will ever
come out, ever again, so you resign yourself to standing up,
unsuccessful for the thirty-fourth time, when y…
JULY 2, 2010 5:36AM
Senator Byrd's gone, but his music...
From
the
Country Sales website: Well known as the longest serving
member of the U.S. Senate, the late Robert C. Byrd had another
fascinating side: a love of fiddling that he acquired at an early
age growing up in the mountains of West Virginia. Originally
influenced by Clark Kessinger and othe… Read full post »
JUNE 22, 2010 3:10PM
500 million Facebook users?
The
official poster for Aaron Sorkin's new
movie is finally out: YOU DON'T GET TO 500 MILLION FRIENDS
WITHOUT MAKING A FEW ENEMIES, superimposed over Jesse Eisenberg's
face (he plays Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in the film).Kewl. And here's some Facebook stuff you may not know:
-Founder/CE
…
JUNE 21, 2010 3:18PM
YEE-HAW! Good news from The Binnacle!
My 136-word nonfiction, "Hack," has been chosen as one of the honorees in the Seventh Annual International Ultra-Short Competition sponsored by The Binnacle at The University of Maine at Machias.
The Binnacle is the university's Literary & Arts Journal. They have published the work of writers
…
JUNE 20, 2010 4:58PM
I did NOT sh*t green turds of envy about this f*cking Father's Day story.
Re:
Father's Day odd couple (San Diego Union-Tribune):Last August 3, at 11:24 a.m., 29-year-old Justin Halpern posted his first Twitter message on shitmydadsays. He basically copied down the scatological sayings of his father, 74-year-old Samuel Halpern.
By mid-August, his Twitter account had m
…
JUNE 18, 2010 8:13PM
Dirty joke: at the vet's office.
Two dogs are at the veterinarian's office.
The Poodle is complaining, "My owner is getting me neutered, just because I hump her leg!"
The Great Dane says, "When my owner got out of the shower yesterday, she leaned over to pick up her towel. That's when nature took over. The next thing I
…
JUNE 14, 2010 10:35PM
Happy birthday to America's Whiniest Sheriff.
Joe Arpaio supervises nearly 4,000 employees in the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office.
He characterizes himself as "America's Toughest Sheriff."
In fact, he prominently features the phrase in the title of his book.
Joe has been champing at the bit, eager to enforce SB1070 (Arizona's tough new immig…
JUNE 13, 2010 8:22AM
Hoffman & Thompson score big time.
Last
Chance Harvey was on cable last week. Lovely little film about
second chances, late in life. Heartwarming. Funny, poignant script.
And it's exciting to watch a couple of Oscar winners (Dustin
Hoffman & Emma Thompson) knock it out of the park:clip1 (Stiff upper lip, 1:06)
cli… Read full post »
JUNE 12, 2010 8:53AM
Sat on a scorpion yesterday.
Just a small one.
My jeans had been carelessly thrown onto the bedroom chair.
Evidently he crawled up onto 'em during the night.
Didn't notice him, but now I'm glad he chose the outside.
I pulled on the jeans and sat down to tie my shoes.
Then I walked into the kitchen to pick up my
…
JUNE 6, 2010 8:16AM
Boldog házassági évfordulót kivánok, Anikó!
Ten years ago today, I married a fantastic woman at the
former Avalon home of America's preeminent writer on western lore,
Zane Grey.
Originally built in 1926, Grey's pueblo was designed to serve as a haven for his prolific literary efforts, and features extraordinary views of the ocean, as… Read full post »
Originally built in 1926, Grey's pueblo was designed to serve as a haven for his prolific literary efforts, and features extraordinary views of the ocean, as… Read full post »
JUNE 5, 2010 2:05PM
Space movies from the gummint.
Sometimes,
I just need to look at reality from a different perspective. That's
when I visit SpaceWeather.com. They always have
kewl lynx. Today, I played around with the aurora movies from NOAA
POES (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration
Polar-orbiting Operational Environmental Satel…
JUNE 4, 2010 8:58PM
Follow the Bee again.
The National Spelling
Bee, that is. On Twitter. Or on ABC-TV, tonight.
[It's live on the East Coast right now. 7pm here in Phoenix.] Or in
my fevered memory.
Or in a DVD:
Top 3 suggestions for improving the Bee:
3. Outside: more tailgate parties, so the spectators can…
Top 3 suggestions for improving the Bee:
3. Outside: more tailgate parties, so the spectators can…
Alan C. Baird's Favorites
Amy McMullen
Kathy Riordan
Laura Miller
Mary Elizabeth Williams
gail williams
Cary TennisUpdates
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Views of the Eclipse seen from Lake Tahoe and San Francisco
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Being chased by ravening informavores
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Language Defines Our Lives
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A Sad Parallel: Reflecting on the Suicide of Mary Kennedy
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Breast Feeding Frenzy, Time Mag Jumps the Wrong Shark
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Border Vigilante With Political Ties Dead in Murder/Suicide
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A Professed Reality: two short videos
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Last Dinner On the Titanic
Salon.com