alexis james's Blog

learning to sing

alexis james

alexis james
Location
Narragansett, Rhode Island,
Birthday
December 31
Title
I want to be a writer someday.
Bio
31, I love pitbulls and kittens. Rats are another favorite. Bukowski and Baldwin...good or bad, i love people's teeth. Always loved taxidermy, long as they weren't hunted. I want a thousand books, a house in Istanbul and half a dozen stuffed cats (once they finally leave). Tattooed nearly ten years, and now, maybe, I don't like it... Trying to get the crazies out of my head. I feel somewhere in between a wreckless hobo and a vunerable little girl...and I want to be a writer someday.

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Salon.com
MARCH 13, 2010 3:21AM

Hidda Gidda

Rate: 8 Flag

A centipede fell into my pants once.

Will I ever be exceptional at anything?

Will I ever do what I know I can do and will I do it when I know should do it?

 Why is it so hard ?

Being a better me sounds delightful.

A ton of work,

but rewarding, for sure.

Or I would imagine.

 

This has been heavy.

This brain has't stopped.

Does not stop.

I have been like this since about 7.

Feels real, real heavy.

 

I always feel like I'm searching for something of immense importance. Something significa. Or I also often feel completely lost Some thing is missing in me, I guess. 

 

I will always try to make sense of the world. I promise--even if I somday lose you--I will never stop trying to find you. I could never just give up. Apathy barely exists in me nowadays.I am ready to fist-fight myself soon and get back on track.

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You have wonderful insights into yourself. However, sometimes a fist fight can be a bit of a harsh way to deal with yourself, and works against your innate spirit. Lovely prose Alexis.
rita shibr
March 13, 2010 03:35 AM
Duke it out Alexis. I have no doubt who the winner of the fight would be....YOU!!
Mission
March 13, 2010 06:32 AM
When I fist fight with myself someone always gets hurt. Introspection is a good thing to have.
Chuck A. Stetson
March 13, 2010 09:29 AM
"I am my own worst critic." and my writing sucks too. Yours doesn't though.
Lefty McGee
March 13, 2010 05:02 PM
Sounds good to me, rated.
Thoth
March 14, 2010 01:51 AM
Keep searching and keep fighting. You are the only thing in your way. Kick your ass and move on.
mike ryko
March 15, 2010 03:26 PM
Do you realize your gramma died in 1987? Maybe you've been searching for the profound truth.
you do write so fine!
R
julie Kiernan
March 17, 2010 04:23 PM
And every time you make it your intention to be a better you, you take a step closer to being that person.
You're a brave soul and the journey is long. You have all the heart you need to see you through.
Enjoy the road.
Jacob Lee Bane
March 21, 2010 11:35 PM