One of the first things a bartender learns to recognize is the dreaded first date.  The awkward pauses and weird body language give it away to the average pub voyeur but the barman/maid learns to read the other signs; the initial handshake instead of hug and cheek kiss and lack of… Read full post »

I have a new friend.

Most of you know this friend as, perhaps, he’s your friend as well.  My new friend is located at the top right hand corner of my keyboard and he goes by the name of Delete Button.  I find the button useful when writing to you dear… Read full post »

Tuesday, I found a strange note on my outer door.  It was hard to miss among the multi-colored business cards left in the black metal grates – a wonderful script written in black ink on cerulean blue paper.  It read as follows:

I read your blog.  My former partner was mistaken.&n… Read full post »

There are certain songs you can’t get out of your head no matter how hard you try.  Be it Cartman’s obsession with ‘Come Sail Away’ by Styx or my occasionally terminal desire to listen to ‘They Don’t Know’ by Tracy Ullman, any song that fl/… Read full post »

There was a period in time when I believed there couldn’t be the absolute best at a given act.  For example: baseball.  Was Ruth better than Cobb or was Mays better than both are eternal questions argued loudly in bars all over the country, the Dominican, Japan and parts of Canada.&nb… Read full post »

My jaunt through the new Las Vegas and down into the Los Angeles metropolitan area has provided me with a glimpse into a seemingly important yet incongruous fact not readily available to the casual observer: here in the western US tattoos appear to outnumber teeth.  This isn’t just in the… Read full post »

At this point in the Great Recession, the crash of the housing market due to the Sub Prime mortgage bubble is still causing the vast angst among Americans.  Foreclosures, the lack of available credit and the drop in value of real estate are all driving the average consumer to distraction.&n… Read full post »

The right man for these trying times.  Read full post »

I’ve said it many times and it bears repeating here: if it weren’t for Lou Reed I would have gone to the University of Michigan and would at this moment be a Detroit lawyer with an ulcer negotiating over the ruins of a once great city instead of your occasionally intrepid blogge/… Read full post »

The Old Man walked into the house on a glorious early spring day the early 1980’s with a wicked grin on his face.  Usually when my Father was sporting that sort of smile, the evenings tip at the track would be sure to pay long odds: 15-1 minimum.

“Judy, I gave… Read full post »

I understand how current college graduates must feel.  Much like 2011, 1991 was not a good year to enter the workforce.  With my newly minted BA from NYU, a few writing credits from SPIN Magazine and an infinite amount of chutzpah, I hit the New York pavement and quickly foun/… Read full post »

I like to be sold.

I like to walk into a clothing store, a car lot, a wine store, real estate office, bar or restaurant and watch a knowledgeable professional salesperson move me towards what I should want, not what I asked for.  There is something comforting knowing a class of… Read full post »

The news hit the wires around 10am this morning.  Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London home of an apparent drug overdose.  She was 27 years old.

This came as no surprise to anyone.  Winehouse had been at the top of many Rock and Roll dead pools since 2008.&nbs/… Read full post »

I’ve never liked Roger Clemens.  Actually, since he broke into the Bigs back in 1984, I’ve found reason to actively despise the man.  He broke in with the Red Sox.  He always seemed to kick the shit out of the Tigers with many double-digit strikeout perf/… Read full post »

I’ve never liked Roger Clemens.  Actually, since he broke into the Bigs back in 1984, I’ve found reason to actively despise the man.  He broke in with the Red Sox.  He always seemed to kick the shit out of the Tigers with many double-digit strikeout perf/… Read full post »

There is a new rage in prophylactics.  Not a Trojan or the nameless brands to be found in the local Circle K, bodega or 7-11.  No, this condom brand comes with great tag lines and instant name recognition and a picture of a warm smile we’ve all grown to know all so well.&nbs/… Read full post »

The Knitting Factory is considered one of New York’s finest concert venues.  From it’s original iteration on the SoHo side of Houston and Mott Streets, with it’s brilliant progressive Happy Hour (drinks started in the cents at 4pm and worked their way up to full price by 7) ope… Read full post »

The puzzle destruction video game Angry Birds has become an international sensation. Initially created for the iPhone and iPad, the games popularity has forced the Rovio, the games maker, to include the Droid, Palm and Sony Play Station 3 platforms as well.  The game is so popular/… Read full post »

Miguel Cabrera, Detroit Tigers first baseman, perennial AL MVP candidate and hitter nearly without peer (only Albert Pujols is better) was cited for DUI Wednesday night in Fort Pierce, Florida. The 28 year old has been sober for nearly a year and a half after an October 2009 incident at B/… Read full post »

When the first MetroCard system hit the subways in the mid 1990’s, I wondered how long it would take for any sort of organized scam to take hold in the various stations. However, the Giuliani and Bloomberg administrations managed to keep subway crime to a minimum with their emphasis on qua/… Read full post »

The measure of a man among those of us at NYU’s Brittany Hall was the ability to cop (buy) drugs for oneself. The guys on the third floor who gave me $20 to score them a couple of dimes from the dealers who operated from the flower stand on 10^th Street just east of/… Read full post »

‘We’re here for you.’

A simple phrase that delineates the job I do behind the bar very well.John Lopez, current GM of Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles, was the first of my co-workers I remember using this disarming statement with any frequency. John was the junior/… Read full post »

For those of us working in the fine dining segment of the service industry, corporate theme restaurants are a scourge on par with the Visigoth invasions of Rome. We look down our noses Chili’s, Applebee’s, Mimi’s Café, Red Robin et al. All the rules, the same f/… Read full post »

The Mars Bar is the definition of a disgusting dive bar. The joint, located on the corner of 2nd Ave and 2ndStreet, is feet from the Bowery and still carries the stink of the alcoholic bums who scammed nickels and dimes to buy their medication. The graffiti on the walls - both inside a/… Read full post »

The city of Dallas, Texas has taken great pains to leave Dealey Plaza in the same condition it was on November 22, 1963. Trees have grown, paint jobs have been touched up and pavement replaced. Otherwise the citizenry of the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex have done a remarkable job o/… Read full post »