Recently, I drove by a billboard featuring Ken (as in Ken and Barbie) flashing a Hollywood smile expressing “Barbie, you’re the perfect doll for me!”

Now, I spent the better part of my childhood playing with Barbie and friends.  I suspect my love for shoes may have had something to do with all those little plastic heels. And I even owned the Barbie jet. My daughters advise me to step away from the Little Black Dress Barbies at Target, fearing I’ll buy the entire set.

However, I guess I was snoozing when I missed Ken’s relentless pursuit to win back Barbie’s heart, 2011 style.  Ken shared his message on the Times Square Jumbotron, on his Facebook wall, and on Twitter. He even inspired a Hulu reality competition show about the perfect boyfriend.

Like Jen and Brad, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, Sonny and Cher, and Liz and Dick, Barbie and Ken split up. Barbie had been canoodling with an Aussie surfer named Blaine.  B and K split amicably and remained the best of friends. In fact, according to Mattel’s website, gal pal Barbie even inspired cutie Fashionista Ken’s style! 

After seven years, Ken apparently felt something stirring in his nonexistent loins (we girls do check!) and aimed to change his relationship status with the 19 inch blonde.

Barbie capitulated to the poll on the Facebook fan page and is back with Ken who noted, “Even though we’re plastic, our love is real.”

I’ve have always felt Ken and Barbie were more platonic friends than passionate lovers.  Fashionista Ken looks as though he’d be more at home at a We Ho barbecue than hanging at the Malibu beach pad with Barbie and her bikini clad pals. He “loves to explore his fashion personality.” And what about that tight open plaid shirt and skinny jeans on Shaving Fun Ken? Just saying.

As a girl, I would exchange Malibu Ken for my brother’s GI Joe or even a wooden backscratcher on which I had drawn a face.  Guess it was intuition.

I do wish Ken and Barbie the best.  Hopefully, Barbie’s head won’t be turned by the next macho NASCAR driving, Bud swilling doll.  (Then again, hopefully Ken’s head won’t be turned either!)

In the meantime, Mattel is pitching Sweet Talking Ken, “the perfect boyfriend who says just what you want him to say.  Press a button on his chest to record your own voice which you can play back in high, medium, or low pitch. Sweet!”

Hasn’t Ken been emasculated enough?