Now, I’ll be the first to admit I am not much of a sports fan. During the Super Bowl, I don’t even turn on the TV till the half -time show.
But, I would suspect the game is longer than the pre-game show.
I do stay glued to the TV during the Oscars. In fact, I even watch the Red Carpet coverage which I suppose is like Hollywood’s pre-game show. The Red Carpet is about the window dressing. Designer gowns and Harry Winston jewels. “Who are you wearing?’ and air kisses. Local anchors, some quasi-celebs and a fashion designer or two debate who did it best. And the commentary goes on for days.
Hollywood is all about dreams and the pretty, shiny package. All the players get swag. The ultimate goody bag.
And the pre-game show is way longer than the three hour telecast, including commercials.
So what, you ask?
Well, I’ve been thinking. Internet dating can be the Red Carpet of social interaction between the sexes.
There’s usually an inverse relationship between the time spent chatting online and the likelihood of meeting for drinks or Starbucks. The more time spent exchanging witty banter on IM, the less likely the players will be flirting in public, batting eyes and exchanging glances across the table.
Now, as a writer, I love to flirt with words. It’s like my personal tennis. If you volley with someone with equal skills, I imagine the game can be pretty darn good.. When you play with someone a bit more adroit, your game is upped to a whole new level. IM becomes a Nora Ephron screenplay, filled with double entendres, sexy banter, and compliments.
But, when you spend hours rallying back and forth, you probably won’t score any points. The pre-game show and Red Carpet shouldn’t last longer than the game or show.
About a month ago, I “met” this on paper fabulous guy via a dating website. We began an e-mail exchange which I’ve actually saved because it rivals “You’ve Got Mail.” Since we were both writers, we had really great material.
We “spoke”” about our favorite books, films, and past relationships. We found out we shared the same favorite mid-century architect and sections of the New York Times. He was away on holiday and would come back to his hotel room just to chat. We found out we had both attended the 1992 Democratic Convention. “I was the 18 year old checking you out!” he flirted. He even told me he had checked out and liked my profile but wasn’t sure I’d respond. He loved that I wrote about a variety of subjects and had many interests. And he said he had a soft spot for pretty, smart, and tall women who loved to wear heels. I thought maybe someone was playing a joke!
Within a day, we had shared almost every detail of our lives. I shot off a list of 10 questions like “What is your favorite ice cream?” which he loved and answered. It was all so Nora Ephron.
When he asked me if I was free Saturday night, my heart basically leaped from my chest. I scheduled a facial and discussed wardrobe with my girlfriends. We started IM’ing till 2:00 am.
The Friday night before our scheduled meet, he upped the flirtation and it started to get pretty steamy. I bought a new lipstick.
So, as I left the nail salon where I’d gotten a pre-date mani-pedi, I was so disappointed to read a message. TV writer guy pleaded forgiveness but was cancelling date because he decided he wasn’t ready following a recent breakup. He even added “from the bottom of my heart” and signed off xox before disconnecting his account.
I usually brush these things off and carry on without a scratch. But, this one sent me under covers with Kleenex and Netflix.
I’ve had time to reflect. Sure, I was extremely disappointed because I had hopes for something great. I got caught up in the virtual seduction which can be a very heady experience.
Since I believe something good should come from all painful experiences, I’ve started doing research for an article on relationships which exist solely online.
And I’ve decided to save the witty banter and little black dress for a meeting over cocktails.
Because the Red Carpet may be all glitz and glamour. But, the Show is about recognition and accomplishments.
I’ll still take the swag.