If you’re unmarried and over the age of consent, you’ve probably joined one or more online dating sites. Now, lots of people start out punching in the credit card digits, expiration dates and security codes to join Match.com, J-Date or eHarmony. You check off those little wish list boxes, sort of like a dating gift registry. You fire off some clever messages and check your inbox regularly for bites. Maybe if you’re lucky, you meet someone handsome/smart/funny/and a good kisser. Maybe you go out a handful of times. It seems to be going well when you find out your online paramour may be in the Witness Protection Program when he disappears without notice.
So, you wander back on, maybe changing your parameters. A few inches shorter…you can always wear flats. Maybe you need to reconsider those offers from guys born when you had already graduated from college or vice versa.
Checking the “starting lineup,” you come across dozens of guys you met a couple years earlier on some other site. You feel sorry for some unsuspecting woman who may be duped by one of the “here today, gone tomorrow” types or worse yet, a guy who had more hands than an octopus but begged off a second date because he “wasn’t feeling it.”
You notice one of the dating sites features a four star rating system, presumably to mark off a cute, worthwhile guy you can message some time when you haven’t had a couple glasses of wine.
So, I got to thinking. If we can rate that new NARS Velvet Gloss Lip Pencil in Mexican Rose on Sephora or those fabulously sexy and strappy BCBG faux snakeskin sandals on Piperlime, why not that handsome Yale grad who turned out to be a complete jerk?
Before we flat-iron our hair, apply makeup, maybe buy a new pair of shoes, lipstick or a pretty bra and panties, shouldn’t we know what we are getting into?
Go ahead. Mark those little hearts on a scale from one to four. Better yet, add some comments like “unlikely to return texts or phone calls after a second or third date,” “suggested a motel for very first meeting,” or “asked for photos of my foot in high heels for his personal library.”
There’s only so much time in the day for message and text banter or wine and Starbucks dates. So, single daters of the world unite! Caveat Emptor be damned!