Huff Po’s “Divorce” section this week included a “listicle” or blog of 18 signs “you’re crossing the line” into those murky waters of infidelity. Will she or won’t she?
Huff Po is a mix of aggregated content from other media spiced up by “Weird News” and commentary by a variety of self-proclaimed experts in any given field. Typically, the “Divorce” section exemplifies the know it all approach with a few salient points thrown in for good measure.
Emotional infidelity has been a popular buzzword in the literature of the wedding-ringed set lately, right up there with sexless marriages. By the looks of things, married folks aren’t getting any needs met!
I’ve always been intrigued by relationship issues so I’ve read more than a few of these articles or blogs. To accept the notion of emotional infidelity, we must believe on some level that one person in the universe can meet every single one of our needs. I’m guessing some adults still believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny.
The reliance on spouses or romantic partners to fulfill all our emotional needs can be a dangerous proposition. Abusers typically isolate their victims from any outside support, friends and family.
Of course, in an ideal world, your go-to confidante would be the one who shares the remote and the covers.
But, what happens when that person is preoccupied with work, aging parents, kids, bills and getting the groceries on the table? Of course, marriage or long-term relationships go through more ups and downs than a roller coaster. To make things work, each partner needs to make time for and accommodate the other partner, emotionally, sexually, the whole ball of wax. Even when any of those notions seem, well, overwhelming and not so appealing.
Before we go tossing around terms like emotional infidelity, assuming everyone is just a breath away from slipping to a hotel room for an intimate encounter, we need to examine the reasons many people anticipate infidelity. Just as a house may need reinforcing before an impending storm, so do relationships. Sure, you’re busy making mac and cheese for the kids or correcting homework. Take a moment for a hello kiss and “how was your day?” Make a phone call or send a text from work just to say you’re thinking of your partner.
It’s when couples take each other for granted that the gaps widen, allowing those lunches or coffees to turn into something else.