Brushing the cats after they've been outside to prevent fleas is like showering after sex to prevent STDs. Not a wise prevention measure.

Major literary irritant: Incorrect and over use of exclamation points. Not everything is that exciting!!!!!!!

Thunderstorms make me want to sneak under the covers, close my eyes and just listen.

I'm about a nerve and a half away from calling the cops on our neighbor's goddamn dog. Or dropping a tranq-spiked meatball over the fence.

Perplexing SPAM: "We offer the best alarm-clocks for your little fellow down there."

As usual, I need a cold shower after watching True Blood.

What a happy morning: Coffee is brewing, cinnamon rolls are baking, and I'm cutting and sugaring fresh strawberries for the week.

Hey now, it's 54 minutes into this hour and a half flick, and I have yet to see some fang action.

Okay, how. HOW did I emerge out of my childhood in the 80's and NOT have seen The Lost Boys? It has both the Coreys for crying out loud!

I need another word for Thesaurus.
 
Our backyard is LOUSY with fireflies.

My dad is learning Facebook. On my Wall, he wrote: "What is the WALL tab used for?"

Leaving my desk for two minutes and coming back to find a voicemail? HATE.

Last week Andrew said "why do you like this show?" This week it's "hey, can you pause it? I want to see this couple dance." #SYTYCD

Sweet tea vodka. I have my new summer cocktail.

Miller Light: The Part-Timer's Beer http://twitpic.com/69ntv