I did a bad, bad thing.
I switched cat foods.
And if you have cats, you probably know that you are never, ever, ever supposed to switch cat foods. Ever.
This makes sense, given how the old switcheroo on anyone’s diet could be jarring to the system.
And I know this. I’ve known this as long as I’ve had cats and I have always fed them the same brand. I have swapped chicken for salmon or lamb, but never brands.
A few months ago, I noticed that Iams had put out a “Healthy Naturals” alternative to their regular selection of cat food. Thinking natural* is better, I immediately bought a bag (I have weak impulse control, okay?)
Well, they LOVED this food, and within a month, their coats were super soft and shiny. They rarely coughed up hairballs. SOLD.
A few months ago, I noticed that Grocery Store I Hate stopped carrying it. With it in fact being the GSIH, I wasn’t surprised. Minor inconvenience aside, I picked up a bag of the regular Iams and walked home to feed the girls.
A few weeks later, I noticed they were puking more than usual. I told myself it was switching back to the unnatural brand that caused the minor upset, and made a mental note to pick up a bag of the Healthy Naturals at my favorite swank grocery.
Well they didn’t carry it either, but I confirmed that Iams does in fact still make the cat food, and later saw it sitting on the shelves at PetCo. I could flick myself in the head right now for not buying a bag because let me tell you, I AM LIVING IN THE LAND OF BARF.
Why, you might wonder? Well, Feeders Supply, a locally owned chain of pet supply stores, was a convenient stop the other day, and I thought SURELY they will carry it if freaking PetCo has it, right?
Nope.
Irritated and desperate, (the food bowls stood empty in my search in for this magic effing brand), I picked up a bag of Science Diet and reasoned, oh, look how expensive this shit is, surely it will be okay! It’s even a hairball formula…lalalala…my ridiculous rationalizations and impatience let common sense fly right out the window.
So. It’s my own fault that I’ve been on barf patrol since this ill-fated mistake last week. And at first it was a little bile here and there, nothing awful, although quite nauseating to look at, still rationalizing they’d just get used to the food. But as the days have passed, Barf-a-rella and Pukes McGee have brought up more runny, yellow piles of undigested Science Freaking Diet than I think is fair for one person to clean up.
So, do tell. Done anything against your better judgment with your pets?
*I realize that “Natural” slapped on a label doesn’t really mean anything these days. Turds are all natural but you don’t see labels on those.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
sarah brennan
Maureen J Andrade
Rachel Kramer Bussel
Beth Mann
fingerlakeswanderer
ladyslipper
Salon.com
Comments
special service so sensitive stomach siamese stops staining sofa
big black blob eats anything that fits in her mouth
spacy tabby hasn't got a clue
paint ball gun----->
actually; we always use a syringe.
then we know the whole dose went down.
Also, never try to give a cat a pill.
My kitty was peeing everywhere but the litterbox, favoring especially cool smooth surfaces like the bathroom floor, kitchen floor, books, and my pleather couches. I looked it up (I'm the undisputed queen of google), and all the signs pointed to a UTI. Apparently cats get those often. My friend who worked at a pet store once (the closest thing I had to free veterinary advice) suggested cranberry supplements from the vitamin store. "Just give her the pill," she said. "How?" I asked... "Well, hold her tight and push it in her mouth, or open the capsule and sprinkle on some wet food." So, shoving anything in her lined-with-deadly-razors mouth seemed like a poor plan, then I thought that since kitty loves tuna, I'd open the capsule and sprinkle. Of course, tart cranberry concentrate on stinky tuna is NOT as appetizing as you might think, even to cats. Both kitties refused to eat it (I figured it can't hurt if good-kitty had some, too). So I called my friend back and asked her if she would help me 'pill' the offending cat.
Kitty didn't like strangers to begin with. She barely liked me. So, my friend trying to grab her was like a Keystone Cops movie playing out in my living room. Chase, lunge, miss, repeat. Eventually the chase went into the bathroom, and I smartly closed the door behind the two of them. I heard what sounded like a marching band from the other side of the door, and then a tiny little "oh my God," from my friend... the door opened, and kitty ran like a laser to behind the couch. According to my friend, kitty performed feats defying physics like you'd only see in a Matrix movie. She walked on the wall of the shower. She somersaulted in midair. She ran across the top of the shower curtain rod. She might have been on the ceiling at one point. My friend was amazed at the agility of this supernatural hell cat. Rightly so. Never underestimate how little cats enjoy foreign objects shoved in their mouths.
We put the pill on the end table, and decided to go into calming mode... I soothingly tried to coax the kitty out from behind the couch promising petting and treats and cuddling, but an unholy growl escaped her lips and she began to chase US! She switched from hide to hunt just like that, and we were afraid for our lives... I still have scars from the Freddy-Krueger-like swats at any exposed skin. More Keystone Cops, only in reverse, and then my friend and I went for coffee in hopes that kitty would simmer down on her own.
Several hours later, I'm on the phone with my mom explaining this story, seething at her hysterical laughter over the situation... and kitty hops up purring in my lap, as if none of that ever happened (what is the memory cycle of a cat, anyway? I heard goldfish can only remember things for like 5 seconds, but I digress). She hops up on the end-table, like usual, trying to bat the phone out of my hand, like usual, and then turns her attention to the pill we left laying on the tabletop. Bat, bat, bat... fun! She's playing with it, the little brat... and then... gulp. She ate it! On her own!!
Convinced I had discovered the secret to veterinary success, I laid more pills on the table for days, hoping she'd remember to take her medicine like a good little kitty. She did not. She was unamused by future pills entirely. A thousand-dollar trip to the vet ended in a "ma'am, your cat is kind of difficult" speech of consolation and a big shopping bag of syringes full of drugs and special canned food that should help her UTI problem... they never did. Those syringes lay unused except for the one that I got her to fall for ONCE, for years.
But, I got a cool story out of it; so, I got that going for me.
I'm SO thankful I've never had the peeing issue with the cats. I'll take barf over pee any day. (That was a strange statement.)
I'm also thankful that I've had to deal with one UTI in about 8 years. It was awful. Poor thing kept running in and out of her litter box. I had to use a syringe to administer her meds, which she didn't fight me on (??) I guess she likes banana flavor.
Rated.
"Dogs have owners; cats have slaves" :-)