Good idea: Try to complete National Novel Writing Month (NANOWRIMO) in November. And get holiday things done.

Bad idea: Try to complete NANOWRIMO in November when involved in an intensive Year of Reading Dangerously.

I apologize for my long absence. Trying to read a serious book after banging out three thousand words a night because you got behind just pummels your gray matter into foie gras.

Add Christmas parties and cookie baking into the mix and you are screwed.

But, the good thing about finishing months of both writing gluttony and that sin of the food variety is that it leads perfectly into my next review.

Now, I'm craving chocolate. More specifically, Robert Cormier's The Chocolate War. It is in fact a rather violent craving that I just have to satisfy.

And so, on to our next review ... Please note your preference for white, dark, flavored, vegan, milk or dark chocolate before you scroll any further.

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Basic Information:

Review Five: The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier

Published: 1974 by Knopf Books for Young Readers

Length: 271 pages

Banning attempts and challenges: Oswego, Ore. in 2008 for being "peppered with profanities, ranging from derogatory slang terms to sexual encounters and violence." ;

Aberdeen, Md. in 2007 for vulgar language and homophobic slurs;

Salmon, Id. in 2006 for immorality and foul language;

Leominster, Mass. in 2000 (next door to Cormier's hometown of Lancaster) as inappropriate for school curriculum.

Raised Eyebrow rating: Four

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I confess I had a hard time getting into this book. I think it may have to do with having a vagina. (Thoughtful look)

At face, it shouldn't. According to all those Godiva ads, I should spend most of my time stuffing my face and thinking orgasmic thoughts about what the chocolate I'm stuffing my face with. I should love this books then, right?

Hmmm.

Nope.

Just because a book has a pretext of being about chocolate doesn't mean it induces stupid blissed out face.

In the case of The Chocolate War, having female sex organs became a liability.

Robert Cormier's well known coming of age novel is definitely, in the words of my mother "a boy book."

Call me sexist. I'm fine with it.

I, however, had a very, very difficult time getting into the heads of the Karl Rove-esque Archie Costello and foolishly stubborn and poignant Jerry Renault.

I am not nor ever have I been a teenage boy.

So, it was difficult for me to connect with the story line and characters although I credit Cormier with good writing on those counts.

Story could be a tad dated ala The Pigman. A bit heavy on the angsty teen isolation theme of that period of writing.

But, overall a very good piece of writing.

Now, to get into banning mode and see what there is to see on that account . . .

(Public Service Announcement: For anyone suffering chocolate induced stomach upset, we will be offering Tums free of charge. Please wad up your little Dove Bar wrappers. A staffer will be coming around with a Hefty bag to collect them)

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It's not difficult to find objectionable content in The Chocolate War. There's foul language, violence, bullying, corruption, and that perennial favorite of censors and Victorians alike, masturbation.

We're talking about teenage boys here.

I give Cormier credit for being matter of fact about these realities of the lives of teenage boys. I even admit to a raised eyebrow at the first mention of masturbation that I came to. It was akin to watching a Danish tv special that begins with a scene of a teenage boy having a really good time, shall we say.

Broke my flow for a minute but then I moved on. Cormier doesn't dwell on it. Neither will I.

The reason I give the book a few raised eyebrows goes back to sentiments I expressed in my earlier review of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. For that review, click here.

I was struck more by the brutality of adolesence than anything. The petty cruelty and corruption as embodied by Archie and the Vigils reminded me too well of thedog-eat-dog realm of the school yard.

I'm biased here. Having been bullied and demeaned throughout my grade school years by most of my classmates, I had a few flashbacks as Jerry's resistance became ever more hopeless.

While I wished otherwise, I knew there would be no consequences after Jerry's beating is broken up. There aren't for the tormentors of kid-world.

Their cruelty is too often brushed off as "Not my son," or "They didn't mean to call you a fat bitch." There is nothing so cruel as a child.

What may be unsettling to adults is that the theme of mob rule, tyranny of the popular and futality of resistance might hit a little too close to home. Bush Administration rolling-over anyone? Is it so different from the Vigils' enforcement of the chocolate sale? (Ponder. Eat chocolate. Ponder.)

Those themes are difficult to digest. Or maybe it's all the chocolate I've been eating.

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So, I would have some pause about children younger than pre-teen years reading the books.

Yet, I think, if used sensitively, Cormier's book could at least give many children food for thought. Something to mull over before they grow into adulthood.

Compared to a lot of what happens in Grand Theft Auto or Bully, I find it a little precious to think that The Chocolate War is still the fourth most challenged book on the American Library Association's list.

Cormier, when asked ten years ago in this interview, summed up my feelings about the book - which I don't think I will honestly pick up again:

"I can sympathize. I know there are sensitive kids and sensitive parents. My problem is when they want to prevent other people from reading it."

 My next review will be even closer to home as I get on a leaky raft with some Mark Twain characters. Stay with me and as always, read dangerously!