Last May, our small town was roiled by what, for us, was a scandal of major proportions. A new and attractive high school teacher checked her cellphone to find a message from a student. The student was known as a practical joker, but that did not prepare the teacher for what she found: a sexually explicit photo of the student accompanied by a text message that seemed menacing.
The teacher was so frightened that she approached the local police and requested a restraining order against the student. Once that process was put in motion, the high school was forced to act in accordance with legal guidelines. The student, popular and accomplished, was suspended from school and prohibited from attending graduation, planned for the following week. In addition, the college he was planning to attend was notified, as well as the scholarship committees that had awarded him scholarships. Those scholarships were promptly withdrawn.
The student had a defense; he couldn’t have done it because he had lost his cellphone several weeks before during a trip down South. It contained nude photos he had taken of himself to send to his girlfriend. Whoever had retrieved the phone had sent those photos to his contact list. Why had the teacher’s number been in the student’s phone? He had an answer for that, too. He was the president of a school club and the teacher was the faculty advisor. She had given him the phone number to discuss club matters.
Many parents found the explanation absurd. “Who keeps nude photos of themselves on their cellphones? I asked my college age children. “Lots of people,” was the response. That’s how I learned about sexting.
According to the study, Sex and Tech, released today by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy in collaboration with Cosmogirl.com:
One in five teen girls (22%)—and 11% of teen girls ages 13-16 years old—say they have electronically sent, or posted online, nude or semi-nude images of themselves…
Teen girls are not the only ones sharing sexually explicit content. Almost one in five teen boys (18%) say they have sent or posted nude/semi nude images of themselves. One-third (33%) of young adults—36% of women and 31% of men ages 20-26—say they have sent or posted such images.
Teens are notorious for their poor judgment, and one reason for this deficiency is the inability to perceive both short and long term consequences of their actions. According to a local Virginia ABC affiliate:
The risque game has very real consequences. "The phones these days are like very good so they can just like send it to the Internet and they can put it on MySpace and other people can save it so it's like all over the place," said a seventh grader…
The kids said very often it starts as a girlfriend sending a boyfriend a picture, but then they break up, he shows a friend and it quickly gets forwarded around…
Who could have seen that coming?
The long term consequences can be even more severe. According to an article in today’s Boston Globe:
Two cheerleaders near Seattle were suspended recently when nude pictures of them spread through their school via cellphone, and last week a Wisconsin teenager was charged with exposing a child to harmful material for showing classmates nude cellphone pictures of his former girlfriend and other girls. At least 10 students were suspended from a Michigan high school in October for spreading a nude cellphone picture of a classmate.
In Salem, principal William Hagen did not discipline any students involved, but warned that future infractions would carry sanctions…
“We educated the kids about the long-term and short-term consequences,” Hagen said. “Once they're posted electronically, they're out there forever. They're available to colleges and universities. They're available to employers…”
In addition, it’s a felony for children under 18 to receive sexually explicit pictures on their phone, and taking sexually pictures and sending them could lead to charges of pornography production and distribution.
The Sex and Tech campaign has published a list of “5 things to think about before pressing ‘send’.”
1. Don’t assume anything you send or post is going to remain private.
2. There is no changing your mind in cyberspace— anything you send or post will never truly go away.
3. Don’t give in to the pressure to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even in cyberspace.
4. Consider the recipient’s reaction.
5. Nothing is truly anonymous.
The resolution of our high school’s sexting incident was sobering. The boy’s family hired a lawyer who obtained the phone company records for the day in question. The call had originated down South several weeks after his phone had been reported stolen, just as the boy had claimed. The principal wrote a public letter of apology to the student; his college was informed and his scholarships were reinstated.
Despite the apparently successful conclusion, there has been a legacy of bitterness. Friends of the student lashed out at the teacher, claiming that she overreacted. The teacher felt that the school had not provided her with support during her ordeal. The student was left angry, embarrassed and in possession of large legal bills.
Sexting exists at the intersection of poor teen judgment, sex and technology. These days, that’s a dangerous place to be.
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Comments
Amy, I tend to think it's just "a new, technological way of being irresponsible." There's plenty of studies to confirm that the brain is not fully developed yet in a teen, which contributes to their lack of ability to think through the consequences.
At the same time, it makes me wonder how bad the parenting situation has gotten (in general) with teens. My daughter is grown, but my sister has a teen. She's told her teen daughter that if she ever puts inappropriate photos online, there's a pretty good chance her teacher and her boss are going to end up seeing them, as well as people she doesn't want to see them. But they have that kind of open communication. Does that not exist in most homes anymore?
While it's true that most kids know more about technology than their parents today, most parents *should* know more about parenting -- shouldn't they?
I am so glad THOSE years are behind me. I did my teen-parenting time during the IRC days.
Technological "street smarts" need to be taught to children; unfortunately, many of the adults responsible for them (teachers, parents, etc.) have little in the way of these smarts themselves, and the technology is changing so fast that, by the time these teenagers are adults, they may not have the tools to teach their own children how to use the current technology wisely. But the principles outlined by the Sex and Tech campaign are a good place to start.
Technological "street smarts" need to be taught to children; unfortunately, many of the adults responsible for them (teachers, parents, etc.) have little in the way of these smarts themselves, and the technology is changing so fast that, by the time these teenagers are adults, they may not have the tools to teach their own children how to use the current technology wisely. But the principles outlined by the Sex and Tech campaign are a good place to start.
I know. I painted some of them.
Here's the thing - they don't care. Their future lives are so nebulous and unreal that a consequence to those future lives is just not a deterrent. If everyone at school sees them - lots of ambivalence there between embarassment and popularity. What your sister really has is a mature, forward-focused daughter. Congrats to her and don't think it's 100% because of her fabulous parenting. Some of it is just luck.
I'm still in many ways more tech savvy than my teens and I am of the opinion that if I'm paying for this stuff, I can look at it when I want. So I've seen far more than I would have liked to have seen, and frankly I've stopped looking because I couldn't take always feeling bad. For the group that are about to say "just don't let them have it" - I say unless you are going to lock your teen in the house, alone, all the time, you aren't going to be able to stop it if they want it. The number of MySpace pages I've seen from people who weren't allowed to have MySpace is large.
In regard to is it just a techno way of the same irresponsibility teens have always exhibited, my opinion is yes - and no. The reason for the "no" is that they will say and do things via the impersonal technological interface (text or online) that they would not DREAM of doing or saying in person. It provides an anonymity of interface that emboldens far beyond where real interpersonal exchanges would go. It also delays or removes feedback, so again the "in the minute" decision is not impacted by the thought of the very next next second, but rather some time down the road when someone replies - or never replies, which isn't much negative feedback at all. We have had many discussions with our son in this regard, but it is extremely pervasive in the culture in our area from both the boys and the girls. I am worried in a different way about my daughter (younger teen) because the sluttiness of what I see from the girls appalls me. They both still have consequences here at home for misusing the tech, but I honestly have no hope of stopping it altogether. Just trying to stem the tide.
Also, and as you so eloquently point out, Amy, it's not that dfficult, apparently, to get hold of other people's nude photos for nefarious purposes. This is a woman who works among teens daily. Is she and every single other adult at the high school really ignorant of all the types of cases you cite here, and that kids can get up to no good with other kids' pictures?
In this age of overreacitve 'zero tolerance' and 'no strikes' policie which simply allow schools to suspend all judgment in service to the illusion that they can keep all students and teachers perfectly safe at all time (and themselves free of all liability) it does seem to me that the high school moved very swiftly to punish before the student's explanation was vetted - and as his explanation turned out to be true, it seems reasonable that the high school should question the swiftness of that punitive response, automatically presuming guilt before innocence could be established. After all, there is plenty of time to take away his scholarship and future if he's guilty. What was the rush?
I guess I'm not surprised, though. Human behaviour is pathetically predictable. An anecdote: I was walking down the sidewalk by my house a few months ago, and noticed a 2 GB SD card lying on the ground. 'Great!' I thought to myself. 'This'll go nicely in my Nikon'.
Then I started wondering what I'd find on it. The first thing I thought of: someones 'personal' picture collection. Of course - what else do kids do for fun these days?
I pondered just formatting the card, but unfortunately my curiosity got the better of me. I had to clean the contacts to get it to work (probably why it had been discarded) but SD cards are almost indestructible. All I needed was a glimpse at the thumbnails to confirm my suspicions. The card contained download music... and... Ewww!
I formatted the card.
I further surmise that if one surveyed married folk, the numbers would be lower but high enough to Freak Out most people.
"At the same time, it makes me wonder how bad the parenting situation has gotten (in general) with teens."
I have to say that I've had a lot of "talks" with my children over the years, but it never occurred to me to talk about posting nude photos on line. I figured I was doing a good job talking about smoking, drugs, alcohol and sex. Indeed I was flattered when one of my sons insisted that I am the most embarrassing mother in the world. Other kids, he pointed out, learn about sex from their friends, not from their parents.
"I surmise that if someone surveyed unmarried adults, the numbers for "sexting" would not be a lot different.
I further surmise that if one surveyed married folk, the numbers would be lower but high enough to Freak Out most people. "
As Einstein said: "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
P.S., do you ever take time to read, rate and comment on anyone else's blogs? I just wondered as I've never seen you there.
Respectfully,
Greg
I think this is a bit of both - new technology and it being used irresponsibly at times. That's just a byproduct of technological innovation. I wonder (I'm sure those older than me will be able to tell me) if similar conversations were had when Polaroid cameras peaked in usage. I know plenty of people who've exchanged "compromising" Polaroid photos with a lover. I think the same could be said regarding video cameras, digital cameras, and now camera phones.
On a larger societal level, I often wonder what these conversations will look like 20 years from now, sexually explicit photography aside. People often make the argument (and many people have been affected by this) that one shouldn't post pictures or stories online in places like Facebook or Myspace of oneself drinking, smoking, activity that may be considered illegal (yes, it is idiotic to videotape your crime spree), or whatever. The argument is based on the idea that employers or schools will be digging through your photos and blog archives and make a judgement on your character based on that. Once the younger generation (I think I'm somewhere in between here at 30) become the employers, will they make the same judgements, knowing it's exactly what they did in their youth?
Some of the other questions above are a little troubling (don't take this personally, please) to me. Why do teens need phones with cameras? They don't. But, most phones these days come with a camera. I wish I had a camera phone as a teen, to be honest. I would've saved hundreds of dollars on film (I was in many different bands and started to travel alot at 18) . Why are parents paying for the internet when stuff like this exists in the first place? Because internet usage is as common as television, video games, and radio (actually probably moreso than radio).
Technology will continue to evolve (barring some kind of massive disaster that sets us back a few hundred years), no matter what we do. The best thing people can do is to keep having informed discussions and learn to adapt to it as best they can.
"P.S., do you ever take time to read, rate and comment on anyone else's blogs? I just wondered as I've never seen you there."
I read and rate lots of posts every day. I don't comment publicly very frequently, but often comment privately.
Greg
Think about how much you would have to be paid to post nude photos of yourself on the internet, or otherwise have them made public. Not anonymous, or blacked out, but with your name and any other possible relevant/embarrassing personal information. If you keep said nude photos on your cell phone, that is the value of your cell phone. Not the couple hundred bucks it costs to replace it, but also the additional millions you or any other resonable person would require for such photos to be made public. Now think about how you would treat an object of such a high value. You'd keep it in a effing safe deposit box, wouldn't you?
Like you said, Amy, teens are known for horrendously bad judgment. But man, this was really bad judgment!
I'm pretty sure a few of us did.
"Despite the apparently successful conclusion, there has been a legacy of bitterness. Friends of the student lashed out at the teacher, claiming that she overreacted. The teacher felt that the school had not provided her with support during her ordeal. The student was left angry, embarrassed and in possession of large legal bills. "
Rated.
The Internet is FOREVER. And nothing you put into the slipstream of technology can be assumed safe. Everything you say, type, create, is out there and ready to be pillaged in one way or another. How one handles that is still an open question. How defensive do you want to be? How much do you surrender to the notion that there is no privacy? It's a negotiation that has no easy answers.
Parents owe it to themselves to know as much about the technology their kids have access to as their kids do. And they should have an opinion on it, and not be afraid to voice that opinion. It's just like the other bugaboos of teenage parenting -- sex and drugs. Parents can make a huge difference in their child's choices just by showing up with an opinion.
"Think about how much you would have to be paid to post nude photos of yourself on the internet, or otherwise have them made public. Not anonymous, or blacked out, but with your name and any other possible relevant/embarrassing personal information. If you keep said nude photos on your cell phone, that is the value of your cell phone. Not the couple hundred bucks it costs to replace it, but also the additional millions you or any other resonable person would require for such photos to be made public. Now think about how you would treat an object of such a high value. You'd keep it in a effing safe deposit box, wouldn't you?"
That's a great way to look at it.
"My two cents worth is that teenagers are not cognitively developed to understand the ramifications of all of this (review your Piagetian psycholgy and you'll quickly agree)."
That reminds me of a study done comparing the judgment of 14 year olds to adult. Each person was presented with the following problem:
Imagine that you are babysitting for a 5 year old boy who announces that he wants to climb up and play on the roof. What should you do?
The adults responded in the expected way. They would try to talk him out of it. They would prohibit it. They would keep the child from going outside.
The 14 year olds were equally sincere, but far more creative. Among the responses: "I would lay mattresses around the edge of the garage in case he fell off." and "I would try to find a parachute that he could wear so he wouldn't be injured if he fell."
exactly. some, because they're young and foolish and will regret it. but a lot of them will never care.
people who grew up in a web world (and to a lesser extent, a reality tv world), in general, have a very different conception of privacy than the population even five or ten years ahead of them.
they put all manner of embarassing things about themselves on facebook, and they have a very different conception about boundaries and the whole concept of privacy.
of course they have a lot of shocks in store for them, but i bet a lot of us bloggers do too--will regret dearly a few of our posts, which come back to haunt us.
i don't think it's so much a new phenom as the world coming full circle, though. only a handful of generations back, most people lived their entire lives in a small town or small community of some sort, and pretty much anything notable you did was with you for life (including being seen naked).
when i lived in kuwait, it was still that way. even trying to get the locals at Kuwait Oil Company to do role plays in a business setting was like pulling teeth. they said they'd be known for silliness forever.
six of my eight great grandparents were all peasants or butchers and so forth in ireland (split between Cork and Limerick). today's facebook was just their small town.
i don't think much has changed.
Liz, as always, right on the mark.
A blogger friend likes to say, "There is no eraser on the Internet."
That image woke me up. Maybe not enough. hehehe.
I hope my kid will be wiser than I was, but I'm not planning on it.
I must admit though, I consider the "teen brain" card a bit of a cop out. These kids may not care about what they are doing, but they know its wrong or at the very least, "not a good thing"
Socially, I think political correctness hasn't made parents job any easier, that and the fact that childern mimic what adults do: so if teens hear about adults posting racy pics online and it being "okay", is anyone shocked that they would follow suit?
Someone begged the question, "Do teens need a camera phone?"
Yes and No. I bounced through HS without one, IF I had to make a call, I used a pay phone or went to the office. I see phones as more of a want for Teens, rather than a need. I graduated in 01 and there is no way in hell that the world has changed to the point where the under 18 crowd NEEDS a cell phone: they've become toys, nothing more.
However, I can understand a student wanting one if they had an after school job, sports, etc.
This is not about kids entering adult subjects, but rather the commonly found surprise by adults when gaining an insight into adolescent behavior.
We all know that teens at around ages of 16 to 21 are bound to become sexually active, and that is coupled with increased hormones affecting their behaviour. Why then such shock at "discovering" that they are indeed sexually curious and active?
Perhaps our laws require updating. Perhaps our teens deserve to feel safe during this experimental phase. It would be much preferable to feeling attacked and compromised.
When it comes to privacy issues -- these do not just apply to teens and technology -- these concerns belong to all of us.
And with regard to technology giving young people a license to behave in ways that they wouldn't otherwise: I am an educator in an institution of higher learning and a student was incredibly rude to me in an e-mail she sent to me--so rude that she even described her own message as "mean." I have no doubt that she would never be as disrespectful in person, an observation supported by the fact that to this day she refuses to look me in the eye after I corrected her roundly for having taken liberties in text.
This being said, as an adult in a long-term committed relationship, sexting is playful, fun and a turn-on.
The conversation goes like this:
Dad, I'm at Fred's house with John.
Great, take a picture of the two of them and send it to me so I can see please.
As for the teacher, the problem is that she went to the police. This is a problem for parents. If they can't or won't fix the problem, then you might consider calling the police.
I remember when I was a kid, if I was at your house and screwed up, I would get my butt beat just like you would, then get it again when I got home because your mom would call mine. Never any police.
- Evolution
- The Will to Power
I'm afraid it is very much so part of human nature, and nature in general as we understand it, to try everything that is possible within the confines of what is physically allowable.
Children, just as adults (entities), are at the mercy of the external pressures that are applied to them and will explore in any direction possible in as much as those pressures don't end up forcing them into specific directions and away from others.
Parenting is one such force that is rooted into the Will that we wish to impose to shape a direction that is in line with our own Will to Power (which is, unfortunately, forecefully shaped by the prevalent context one finds themselves in; flavor of the moment for moral imperatives, societal norms, etc.). Talking about bad or good is somewhat irrelevant since it is based on an arbitrary system of values that we call 'morality' but it is certainly used ad nauseam as a means to our purposes and it certainly works well given that it is reared by the whole of society. Reading about the different trends in history, it is relatively easy see how morality is ever changing, or, that more generally, external forces are protean. Evolution works wonders!
To slightly fold this difficult introduction into the current context, human beings, by definition of the convergence they represent, will always push the limit of what they can do with new technology. Some will be successful at riding the new wave and some will fail in the newly available economies. Ultimately, what ends up being selected for survival in the newly emerging economies (rapid self replication) has very little to do with individuals but with averages, available power and ease of inclusion into the currently existing economies. This is very little controlled, if at all, by individuals. This is the boat we are all cruising on. The survival economy is very difficult indeed. If means to power is given, power will be used to further power. Some will use it parsimoniously from being forced into other directions, others will use it with excess while exploring new consequences.
That young adults are experimenting with the boundaries of what we label morality (in today's sense, in America) does not surprise me much, nor will it surprise me when the same thing occurs ad infinitum in future generations through mediums we can only dream about. Trying to to stop this is trying to stop evolution. It simply cannot be done without wiping out complex life.
The cycle never ends and is, unfortunately for emotional beings that easily get caught in the moment, accelerating and shaping us into evermore specialized becoming of increasing power.
http://www.iroc2.org or http://www.sextingisstupid.com
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Monitor your child's camera phone activity with this great app.
Parents get more involved and help put a STOP to SEXTING and CYBER-BULLYING!
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www.picture-alert.com