There's something perverse about an entire industry predicated on the concept that excruciating pain is good for women. I'm talking, of course, about the "natural" childbirth industry, and the books, blogs, courses, videos and celebrities that comprise it. The "natural" childbirth industry isn't always sure that the pain of labor exists, but they are sure that if it does, it's desirable that women feel it.
The unalterable bedrock of "natural" childbirth advocacy is that women should refuse effective pain relief in labor. The "ideal" situation is for women to embrace their pain and pretend that it is "good pain." Of course, there is no such thing as "good pain": they just made that up. The pain of contractions and the pain of vaginal distention do not differ in any way from any other kind of pain. It is not carried by different nerves, it is not conducted through the action of different neurotransmitters, it is not routed to different areas in the brain. It is exactly the same as any other kind of pain. So the take home message of NCB is that the excruciating pain of childbirth should be ignored.
And not merely ignored. What's worse is that the NCB movement pretends that women are improved by experiencing the agonizing pain of childbirth, although they cannot think of any other instance in which human beings are improved by agonizing pain. The irony is that "natural" childbirth advocates have beliefs that are strikingly similar to the Victorian clergymen who opposed anesthesia in childbirth when it was first introduced in the second half of the nineteenth century. The clergymen believed that is was wrong to abolish labor pain with anesthesia because God intended for women to feel the pain. NCB advocates appear to believe that it is wrong to abolish labor pain because "Nature" intended for women to feel the pain. There is precisely zero concern for the effect of that pain on a woman herself.
The "natural" childbirth movement routinely demeans women who do not want to tolerate the pain. They are portrayed as weak, as "giving in," as uneducated and uncaring because they don't understand the "risks." Or worse. The ultimate insult, implied, but not always stated is that "authentic" women can and should accept the pain, and that, therefore, women who opt for an epidural are somehow less womanly.
There is one strain of "natural" childbirth advocacy that simply denies the reality of the pain. In this view, the pain of childbirth is psychosomatic in the true sense of the word. It does not reflect actual neurologic signals, but rather the social conditioning of women by a medical, technocratic culture. Pain is a manifestation of the fact that the woman has not "educated" herself that the pain doesn't exist, doesn't "trust" birth, and, once again, is not an "authentic" woman.
There is another strain of "natural" childbirth advocacy that acknowledges that the pain exists but that it can and should be "managed" in ways that are "natural" and inherently ineffective. The goal is not to abolish the pain; that would be wrong. The goal is to tolerate the pain so that the incentive to abolish it will be reduced. Hence the emphasis on hypnosis, water, and labor support. The pain is real, the pain is severe, and it is acceptable to reduce the pain. But it is only acceptable to reduce the pain in ways that involve no technology, and it is never acceptable to actually abolish the pain.
The "support" people in the "natural" childbirth movement exist primarily for indoctrination. The childbirth educator exists to convince women that pain is good for her, and pain relief is bad. The primary function of a doula is to interfere with a woman's desire for pain relief. At every point, the doula counsels the laboring mother that she does not "need" pain relief, that she's doing "great" and she "can do it," with "it" being enduring labor without an epidural.
At the fringes of the "natural" childbirth movement is a group that not only denies the existence of the pain, but inverts it. Childbirth is not painful, it is pleasurable. At the moment of birth, "authentic" women have an orgasm! No remotely plausible physiologic explanation is advanced for this claim, beyond the inane observation that the tissues that produce the pain of childbirth could, in different circumstances produce sexual pleasure. The explanation makes as much sense as the claim that kicking a man in the groin could induce orgasm because sexual pleasure can be produced by contact in the same area.
Why are "natural" childbirth advocates so invested in the idea that women "should" experience excruciating pain in labor? Why are they invested in the idea that women benefit from experiencing labor pain? Why do they direct the bulk of their efforts, both before and during labor, to pressuring women to forgo effective pain relief? Why do these efforts include misinformation about the "risks" of epidurals, and insinuations about the fitness of the laboring women as a mother, and even insinuations about her fitness as a woman?
I don't know all the answers to these questions, but I do know this: it is inherently wrong to ignore the pain of women and to pretend that agonizing pain is good for them.
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"The natural childbirth movement empowered me to make the right choices for my birth. "
Why would you need to be "empowered" to refuse pain medication?
Labor pain is like any other form of pain; there will be a range of patient experiences. Some people need a lot of narcotics after surgery, some need very little, and some can get by with Motrin. Some people need a lot of narcotics after breaking a bone, some need very little, and some need none at all. No one needs to be empowered to refuse pain medication after surgery or after breaking a bone. They just refuse it and they don't get it.
Natural childbirth doesn't empower you to refuse pain medication; you can always do that. It attempts to convince you to refuse pain medication and insists that refusing pain medication is "better" than accepting it.
Yes, that's part of the effort of NCB advocates to scare women into refusing pain medication. It is far more dangerous to your baby's health and well being to put it in the car to drive home from the hospital than to have an epidural. So if NCB advocates are so concerned about avoiding risks to babies why aren't they counseling mothers to walk home?
The medication in an epidural is similar to the medication used for dental work. Do you avoid putting chemicals in your body during dental work? Should other women try to avoid chemicals during dental work? Would you be empowered by refusing novocaine for dental work? Why is labor pain any different?
It isn't any different. NCB advocates simply like to pretend that it is, because they think women OUGHT to experience labor pain and that they will BENEFIT from the experience. It's an astoundingly misogynistic viewpoint and it is wrong.
I would ask the doctor- have you personally experienced a non-medicated birth? Have you taken a Bradley class? What is your personal experience in this area beyond supervising fully medicated deliveries for other women? Are you only advocating for the medical and pharmaceutical communities without giving proper consideration and study in an open minded fashion to other options? Yes, I am sure there are radicals on both sides out there, as in every area of life, but to paint the entire natural childbirth movement with that same radical brush is wrong. The opening statement, “There's something perverse about an entire industry predicated on the concept that excruciating pain is good for women” sets up a false argument. Using the term “an entire industry” is the first flaw. Saying childbirth equals “excruciating pain” is your second flaw (some births are painful, some are not, and it’s the individual woman’s perception as to whether or not the pain is excruciating, as you’ve already conceded). Finally, nowhere in my experience has any natural childbirth professional EVER said pain is good for women.
I hope, with my comments, to share a different experience with the natural childbirth community than the one depicted in the article. The Bradley Method was a blessing to me and allowed me to deliver my second and third children without suffering through the prolonged side effects of an epidural, the method claimed to “actually abolish the pain”. Epidurals do not “abolish the pain” for every woman; for me they only changed it and delayed it, because the back ache I got as a result was much worse, and far longer lasting, than labor itself.
While your blog heading was certainly chosen to elicit a passionate response, it is no more completely true than mine is. The reality lies somewhere in the middle I would guess. The fact that you’ve written and presented a 10 paragraph post about childbirth without ever mentioning a child is somewhat worrying to me. (They’re what come from childbirth –they are the often slimy, screamy end product!)
If what you presented were an accurate depiction of NCB, then you'd be correct: the depiction which you base your post upon is offensive. I don't share the same understanding of NCB as you do, or I would not ever consider NCB as an option.
My loose understanding is that NCB acknowledges a woman's conscious choice to bring a child into the world in the best way possible, to celebrate the creation of and closeness with that child which only woman are blessed with in this way. And, while medication, or medicinal pain management, can play a role in the childbirth process, the reality is that it is not always used only when needed, sometimes to the detriment of that closeness, awareness of a woman’s own body and risk to the child. In the eyes of some people, our medical system occasionally runs like a factory farm when it comes to birthing. NCB simply acknowledges that, as a species, we'd given birth for a very long time without medication, as most other mammals still do.
To me you’ve come across as an OB/GYN who is seething because NCB moms, doulas, etc. are getting in the way of how you want to deliver their babies, asserting that you know best. Therein lies the problem.
Anecdotally, in both my hospital births, there was no pressure. My OB and the nurses were absolutely lovely. I could do whatever I wanted: eat, walk, shower, wear my own clothes, etc etc. I just had to mention it. It probably helped that my general demeanor tends to be calm--even during childbirth, and I had the expectation that they would be reasonable. Interestingly, the second time I could not have the epidural I asked for (in advance) because I dilated extremely fast. (My OB almost didn't make it in time, and the nurses were prepping to deliver.)
Let me restate that: I asked for an epidural and it was not available to me. This calls into question the assertion that OBs force/coerce women into having epidurals.
Since the outcome was both of us surviving in good health, I do not feel like my "experience" was ruined by the preventable trauma of extreme agony.
Thank you for the informative post Dr. Amy.
rated
As opposed to whom?
I have a lot more personal experience than you do, both delivering babies and giving birth to them. Does that mean I must be right?
"The fact that you’ve written and presented a 10 paragraph post about childbirth without ever mentioning a child is somewhat worrying to me."
That's because NCB has nothing to do with babies, and not much to do with birth, either. It's about what is "good" for women and what they "should" do. In the NCB world, labor pain is good, women should feel it, they are "improved" by it, and they should never abolish it.
My 2nd labor was only an hour. I didn't get out of the bathroom. Natural delivery feels like extreme stretching, but it's not a pain level that I would medicate. And I did not need an episiotomy. I wish hospitals were as nice a place to give birth as my bathroom. I got to hold and nurse my second daughter right away.
I noted that I am speaking from personal experience in order to give specific examples to counteract the generalities in the article. I am sure you have significantly more personal experience with highly medicated traditional deliveries. I am wondering, however, about your experience with moms who have received natural childbirth education from a reputable source. Have you taken a Bradley course, for instance? Have you had a child yourself using natural childbirth techniques for pain management? Having a child without an epidural because you were too far along is very different from having a child without an epidural because you are prepared for a natural delivery and have other ways of dealing with labor pain.
As I know from the three very different births I experienced, each one is different. I learned the very important lesson from those experiences that I should not generalize. If I went by my second birth, with a labor that was no worse than having period cramps, even easier in fact since the discomfort stopped between contractions, then I would think anyone who says childbirth is painful is crazy. If I went only by my son’s birth, which was very uncomfortable with bad back labor, then I would say yes, childbirth is extremely painful. (But also manageable since I still say I prefer dealing with unmedicated labor to the pain I got with my one epidural.) By the same token, I can acknowledge that many women will not react to the epidurals the way I did with my first birth and will prefer that to natural childbirth. I do not judge them; it is their choice and more power to them and I am glad the option is out there for them. I am simply stating that for some women natural childbirth methods of pain management are preferable to epidurals. I am also stating that I disagree with your stance that the natural childbirth movement is “an industry devoted to ignoring and demeaning women’s pain” since my personal experience was so very different from that.
I have delivered hundreds of babies to women who had no anesthesia and no interventions. Most made that choice NOT because they had bought into a particular philosophy, but because they didn't need those things.
And, I have had two unmedicated births myself. I didn't find them the least bit "empowering" compared to my other births. The only difference was that they were much more painful.
Really? In what ways do they differ? Does this mean that because I wanted an epidural and it was unavailable, I don't get to brag about a birth free from medical pain management?
Bradley, on the other hand, is worlds different. It was not taught through the hospital but rather by a well trained private instructor. We learned about the birth process and what is going on in our bodies during labor and delivery. We learned exercises to condition our bodies for the work of labor. I mean, it’s called “labor” for a reason. You wouldn’t run the Boston Marathon without training, would you? Well, birth is the same way. We also learned very effective deep relaxation techniques so we would be able to calmly let our bodies do the work they know how to do. There was a lot more to it; we met weekly for a few months so I can’t begin to cover the course content here. No one was made to feel like they would be a “failure” if they decided to get pain medication, or told they would be less of a woman somehow. (Although I will give you this- Dr. Bradley, who came up with this method, was very old fashioned in his views about women. His work has been updated by Susan McCutcheon so if you are planning on doing any reading about this I would advise her book over his.)
To Anthropologist Underground:
You can brag about anything you choose; you don’t need my approval. I will offer you my sympathies, however, since a birth without pain medication when you were unprepared for it with truly effective alternative pain management strategies must have been horrible.
It’s the same Boston Marathon comparison. Would you run the Boston Marathon without training for it? If you found yourself in a situation where you HAD to run the Boston Marathon but you weren’t ready you’d be screaming for pain killers by the second mile. (But I don’t think the doctors would be following you around with an epidural for it, either.) Having a baby is hard, physical work and if you aren’t ready for it, it will hurt a lot more than it has to. When I said having a child without an epidural because you were too far along is very different from having a child without an epidural because you are prepared for a natural delivery and have other ways of dealing with labor pain this is what I meant. I prepared, using Bradley exercises, for months for my second and third deliveries and it made all the difference. My second child was so easy; she just popped right out without any fuss. The nurses couldn’t believe it; they kept looking in on me and were astounded that I wasn’t asking for any pain medication. For what? I wasn’t in any significant pain at all; I’ve had period cramps that were worse. My third, well, he was a different story, but I was also prepared for him and was very happy I didn’t get an epidural since I reacted so badly to my first one. That labor HURT when I lost focus a couple of times, but with the Bradley relaxation techniques and acu-pressure I pulled it together and the pain was controlled better than any epidural could have done.
Here are a few thoughts I wish I could share with every pregnant woman. First, just because you are planning to have pain medication doesn’t mean you will get it. (As other comments have noted, sometimes, for whatever medical reason, the doctors won’t give it to you.) Secondly, some women react badly to epidurals and pain medication. I didn’t like the way the epidural made me feel and the back ache I had for days afterward; I’ve had friends who told me they got migraines from hell from their epidurals. I HATED my epidural so much I turned away from it completely for my second and third children. Pain medication HAS SIDE EFFECTS, sometimes they are nasty side effects, and they don’t take away 100% of the pain anyway. Finally, Lamaze is useless. If you want to be prepared for childbirth find a Bradley class. It doesn’t matter if you are planning on getting all the drugs in the hospital because you may not be able to have them, so you’d better have some other ways of dealing with pain under your belt. It never hurts to be prepared.
Most women in our society who enter childbirth are aware that a variety of pain management techniques exist. Many of us have taken a variety of classes and have lots of "tools" in our toolbox. Many of us have exercised, either read Bradley or taken classes, done yoga, practiced calming techniques etc, and bring these to bear during childbirth. This is how I got trough a delivery with pitocin, but without an epidural with calm and focus. I never said my experience was horrific or I was unprepared for the agony--just that I had asked for an epidural and it was unavailable.
I apologize if you perceived any condescension in my comment; it was not intended that way at all. I was wrong to make assumptions that your experience was horrible. I am not up on what “most women” know about childbirth these days; my first pregnancy was way back in the dark ages. (She’s almost 17 now.) I certainly didn’t know about Bradley at that point, although I learned before my second came along out of desperation to avoid another epidural. (My second child is 9, my youngest is 7.) All I have done here is speak from personal experience, stating that I believe the good doctor was wrong in her statements that the “entire” natural childbirth industry wants women to suffer, and that women are judged as somehow lacking if they don’t tow the line. I also refute the implication that medication is always the answer and takes away all the pain. I’m not judging anyone. If you want a highly medicated birth and that works for you, great, go for it. Many, many, many healthy babies were born that way and went on to bond with their moms and have happy, healthy, successful, wonderful lives.
I can also see your point that there are certain groups of women who will be snotty about it, but that’s competitive human nature and not the fault of the methodology itself. Why would you even want to be friends with women like that? I mean, who needs it? There will also be women who will judge you for not going to the “right” doctor or putting your child in the “right” pre-school, or buying the “right” outfits or stroller or whatever. Jerks are out there, but it isn’t fair to say the entire natural childbirth movement advocates that kind of behavior. As your kids get older and you get past that “Mommy and Me” phase, you’ll find it matters less and less. No one asks about how I delivered my babies at soccer practice or Girl Scouts or in the waiting room at dance, for instance. It feels like everything when they are little but it ceases to matter once you get past that stage. Don’t worry, though- those judgmental types will find some other way to deem the rest of us as unworthy. ;)
I just don't think there is one right way to have a baby. I'm a mom of two kids (one born at home, one born in the hospital). I'm also a practicing doula. I had my first baby in the hospital, I had an elective induction, I had an epidural, I had all of the "interventions"... and I had a GREAT experience. I had my second baby at home, totally "naturally", with a midwife and I had a GREAT experience.
As a doula I support everything from drug-free home births to elective surgical births. What is right for me, my body and my baby isn't necessarily what is right for the next woman, her body and her baby.
All to often I meet other doulas that are really pushy about the wonders of "natural birth". And I used to be too. What changed? A few things... last year I had a home birth mom look up at me after her "natural" home birth and ask, "Where's my big rush of endorphins?". I was speechless. It never occurred to me that not every woman would get that great rush that I experienced after my home birth. I've also seen very difficult attempts at natural/vaginal deliveries that have turned into unwanted surgical births... causing trauma to the mother. It wasn't the surgery itself (in my opinion) that traumatizes the woman... it's the expectation (usually from NCB books or classes) that if she does XYZ she'll get this "empowering, beautiful, pain-free" natural birth. And that is a bunch of BS.
Penny Simkin talks about the difference between pain and suffering. When you go on a long hike your muscles may ache... but most people wouldn't want to take pain meds to relieve a healthy muscle ache. The pain from childbirth is interpreted differently by each woman. If it's tolerable for one woman and she wants a natural birth - go for it! But for someone else, getting an epidural as soon as possible is the most appropriate solution for her discomfort.
I believe the most important thing we can do in our society is to educate women about their options (and I mean unbiased - not pushing towards "natural" birth or the other side making elective c/s sound like a day at a beauty spa-which it most definitely isn't), helping them find supportive and well qualified caregivers, then making sure that they are able to birth in an environment that is safe and supportive. I never want ANY woman to look back on her experience and feel badly about it, whether it goes exactly as she had hoped or it was the complete opposite of what she expected.
Can you meet me half way on this Amy? Do you think NCB is always inappropriate? I'm curious about your opinion...
There's nothing wrong with unmedicated childbirth. It's a choice, and I agree completely that women should make the choices that are right for them.
The philosophy of natural childbirth is something different. It does not acknowledge that different women will want different things. It starts with the principle that unmedicated birth is superior and that anything else is inferior. Moreover, there is an effort to tie unmedicated childbirth to notions of "authentic" motherhood or even "authentic" womanhood. At the heart of the philosophy of natural childbirth is the belief that women ought to suffer pain in labor and that women are improved by the experience. That's what I object to.
Just saying.
Another thought-provoking piece.
Really, for me the pain was worst when I was in any position other than leaning forward, on my knees, or leaning forward, standing up (pressing my arms against a countertop or something). My husband even commented on it; he said, "You know, all the birth stories we hear from women who went to the hospital talk about all the pain, and how the women were always in bed, either sitting up or actually reclined. You NEVER put yourself into that position. And you were never in bed!"
It's true, Ladies. Read the above paragraph again. I never PUT MYSELF into a painful position. I'd like to see you choose your position at a hospital.
That's what homebirth is all about--CHOICE. At home, the midwife was on MY turf. I was relaxed and comfortable and did whatever I needed to do--for example, like I said above, leaning against the counter during a contraction. With my second child I walked around the house--stark naked--to keep labor going, stopping every minute or so to deal with the contraction, then going right back to walking. Again, you can't do that in a hospital.
My midwife--the best and greatest woman in the world, other than my mother--ALWAYS allowed me the option to transfer to a hospital, for any reason I chose, including pain. She also had VERY STRICT rules about certain medial conditions that she would never attempt to assist a homebirth--ie, breech, etc.
Like I said before, at home I was able to put myself in the least painful position possible--so my pain wasn't that bad. There was one time when I was in the pool (called an "aqualdoula"--a really big portable pool for labor) relaxing, leaning my back up against the side. A contraction came on and it was the worst pain I'd ever felt! I quickly scrambled up onto my knees (it must've looked hilarious with my big belly) and instantly the pain was cut in half, and quite bearable. Also, when my midwife checked me (she did so only at my request, by the way) it was really painful.
So if you're going to a hospital, be forewarned: they check you a lot and they don't let you get into the most pain-free position possible. (My theory is that they WANT you to be in enough pain that you'll take the epidural, because once they've got that in you you're stuck in bed and they can more easily control you.)
That's right. This is not a debate about which method, homebirth or hospital, is safer: it's a debate about CONTROL. CONTROL of women, CONTROL of babies, and most importantly, CONTROL OF MONEY.
I resent your phrase "quack" when in reference to anyone other than an OB/GYN who decries a woman's prerogative to CHOOSE her method of birth. It's fine if you want to propel your own beliefs, but do so in a positive (affirming) manner, rather than trying to knock down others. What are you so afraid of? Afraid women reading your blog have already searched the Internet and found gobs of positive homebirth information out there, and you'll lose business? It's doubtful that would happen: the media's got you covered when it comes to negative imagery about birth.
Ladies, don't listen to "Dr" Tuteur! She's full of it--"it" being her own pecuniary self-interest!
Many moons ago, after “accidentally” learning of the Bradley Method® of natural childbirth in nursing college while researching the role of the father in labor for a report, I decided I would attempt natural birth with the father at my side as my doula. I had 4 hospital births. I did not want or have any pain meds for the labors or births for the health of the baby and because I wanted to be totally me, awake, alert and actively participating and in control, not a drugged body giving birth to a drugged baby as was the case in my own birth.
1st baby, due to pressure from an impatient OB, I was administered pitocin 12 hours after pre-labor rupture of membranes and insignificant progress. In spite of the feeling that my cervix was repeatedly being rammed by a telephone pole by these unnaturally strong contractions, a healthy, otherwise drug-free 6 lb 6 oz baby boy was born only 2 hours & 9 minutes after induction Apgar 9/10.
The only pain med I ever had in childbirth was for an episiotomy repair with the 1st baby.
Dr. Amy, with all due respect, I really don't see why you chose to present such a harsh and erroneous depiction of “the” philosophy of natural childbirth.
There is no single philosophy of natural childbirth.
Women choose natural birth for a variety of reasons. Some are selfish, and some are self-less. You can say the same thing for women who choose to have a medicated birth, and those who choose to have an elective cesarean birth. Also, there are doctors who will choose to sell a mom on a medicated birth or cesarean birth procedure for selfish reasons; it’s not always for the sake of the mom or the baby!
After parenting for 27 years, my husband and I now prepare expectant couples for natural birth as certified Bradley® natural childbirth instructors. These couples come to us; I have not advertised locally yet (though I plan to soon, so potential couples will realize they need 3 months to train rather than 4-8 weeks as with other classes.)
These couples not only choose the path less taken today, but they also spend 12 or more weeks following an excellent pregnancy diet, exercise to prepare for birth and postpartum, and deep relaxation and natural breathing which is very effective for pain management. They are very committed to their goal. They want to be in control of their bodies and take responsibility for how their baby comes into the world.
In our classes the couples are reminded that the ultimate goal is for a healthy outcome: healthy baby, healthy mother. They know there are times intervention is necessary. They are prepared for normal birth but should expect that there are times that medical and surgical techniques are necessary. They prepare for decision making and communications with their health care providers regarding options and necessities. They are smart health care consumers. They expect their doctor or midwife to serve as a lifeguard, should a problem arise.
All potential parents should evaluate all options with an open mind just as they would research a major purchase. There should be a well-thought out plan and practice and rehearsal for this major life event.
Birth pain is pain with a purpose. Labor is hard work. For many of us who prepare for natural birth that is all it is. Hard work. Very hard work. Pregnancy is not an illness or medical condition; it is a normal life process. Uterine contractions naturally cause sensations just as other natural body functions such as peristalsis or hunger or a full bladder typically cause characteristic sensations that cue us as to our needs and progress.
One of our moms hates needles and on the surface, this seemed to be her primary motivation for wanting a natural childbirth—to avoid needles. She actually was very health-minded and took good care of herself even before her pregnancy. Another mom we had is quite fitness and health oriented. She had a hip replacement and was petrified that under the influence of an epidural, someone might cause hyperextension of her hip, damaging the 2 year old repair.
Both of these prima gravid women who seemed to have fear of interventions, successfully relaxed and performed magnificently, succeeding at medically uneventful natural birth.
There are plenty of women who fear the pain of childbirth or who don’t have the time to prepare adequately for a natural birth, so I'm sure you and like-minded OBs will never run out of clients happy to have epidurals and cesareans. These women are free to make that choice, at least today. God forbid the cesarean becomes the only acceptable way to give birth in a hospital!
Natural birth prep can not be learned in a one day seminar. One can learn about it by reading a book but achieving it takes a lot of preparation and readiness for the unexpected. A significant though not lengthy part of training for natural childbirth is to learn about the average birth today in order to avoid getting on the conveyor belt that leads to an experience laden with interventions unnecessary for natural vaginal birth.
Doesn’t it make sense to encourage others be as prepared as possible for success when aiming for a drug-free birth? The analogy about preparing for a marathon is an excellent one to compare natural childbirth prep to. Mocking the natural birth movement draws attention away from the many valuable things taught for a healthy outcome, useful even should a cesarean end up necessary. Applied lessons help with relaxation whenever needed for pain (for a lifetime) and the nutrition and exercise help with healing and recovery.
Also, most of our moms choose to breastfeed, even though most of them will go back to work. Unnatural (drugged and surgical) births often hinder the initial early bonding and nursing experience crucial to a good start. These moms have learned that breastmilk is best for baby, and that’s what they want, in spite of the challenges that can pose. They are women who are up to the task or who at least are willing to give it a try, from their perspective that it is in the best interest of the baby to do so.
It is inappropriate and unprofessional to berate those who choose natural childbirth. To imply that (many or all) natural birth mothers judge medicated birth mothers is outrageous! NCB moms can not be held responsible for the feelings and regrets of those who have not tried or succeeded at natural childbirth themselves.
I've seen the same phenomena regarding women who are friends with women who have home schooled their children. Some of these women who have stated they "can't do that" also verbally or non-verbally express a sense of guilt that they don't or can't do it.
If a woman does what she believes is right for her, she should feel good about it regardless of what others are doing or saying. If she doesn't, rather than blame "the movement" whatever that movement might be, she should get to the bottom of her feelings and move on.
If a woman doesn’t feel good about choices she’s made in birth, as in life, it’s up to her to figure out why and come to terms with that. To project blame on a narrow philosophy of an ever growing movement toward natural birth is presumptuous and diversionary. It is not healing or empowering.
There is no shortcut to helping women feel good about themselves and their decisions. That’s a matter of maturity of the individual. Some women get it; some are slow to grow; others never will get it and will choose to blame others for their guilt whether or not it’s justifiable.
I would encourage all women to aim to keep growing. Rejoice in your accomplishments and learn from your mistakes. But don’t judge others or feel you are judged for the way you have had your births or the way you educated your children or fed them… Do your best and be happy with that. Get help if/when you need it. Enjoy parenthood. It doesn’t last long!
I commend all women who choose to have babies and children, both birth mothers and adoptive mothers. Motherhood itself is on the decline. The world needs a few good moms. If you can’t be one, encourage the rest of those who are tackling this demanding but very rewarding job!
Thank-you Dr. Amy, for your thought-provoking opinion article and the opportunity to respond to it.
This title does not describe the Bradley Method®! Certified Bradley instructors teach what pain is and how to work with it, not to mask it or ignore it. Natural childbirth instruction is not an industry. It is both a calling and a labor of love. It's not the right job if you are in it for the money.
One takes pain medication to ignore the pain of childbirth. Another takes natural childbirth training to ignore the offer of pain killers. (Nancy Berntsen, AAHCC, 2010)
"It is inappropriate and unprofessional to berate those who choose natural childbirth. To imply that (many or all) natural birth mothers judge medicated birth mothers is outrageous! NCB moms can not be held responsible for the feelings and regrets of those who have not tried or succeeded at natural childbirth themselves."
I think she just proved your point. Natural birthers assume that there is some sort of guilt women harbor who haven't birthed "naturally." They also claim that they are "empowered" by natural birth. To me, empowerment doesn't equal pushing a baby out of my vagina without drugs.
I feel empowered each day that I raise my child. I felt empowered when I received my doctorate. I feel empowered when I am kind to other people. But I don't feel empowered because I did what so many other women in the history of womankind have done: give birth.