I haven’t done much to make me look better. I’ve done a whole lot to make me feel better. It took a lot of living for me to get to look like the mature woman in the mirror. At my age it is about remaining vertical, as well as vital. It is balancing act and here is what think is going on.

 It is at about 3AM.  I know that technically that is the morning, but to me it is the middle of the night.  That is when I stir and need to fluff the pillow, adjust the blankets and perhaps make a visit to the bathroom. Something wakes me up then, in addition to the urge to “go”. I think I have figured out what it is.

 It is when all those mirror mysteries happen. It is when wrinkles multiply, weight gains, and hair grays. You know it happened during the night, because you see it in the mirror when you are brushing your teeth in the morning. I fidget with the side of my face near my right eye. “What is that?” I ask.  “ It’s another darn wrinkle,” I answer. I sigh and practice smiling to see if goes away. I dare not frown because then an army of puppet lines attacks my mouth and lips.

Gingerly I step on the scale. I don’t see too well in the morning and so I have to look twice, get on and off the scale a few times for verification.  Then face up to it. “ Yep, I knew it I gained a pound. Even though I had cereal for supper.” I grumble. And so it goes. Teeth, skin,weight, hair, all mysteriously altered in the middle of the night.

When did my arms develop grandmother’s wings and when did those little puffs under my chin become part of my permanent profile? When does the gradual process of aging become pronounced enough that we finally see it for the first time? Is there a gestation period for a wrinkle?  How many frowns equal a line?  Are the lines around your mouth really from smiling?  I used to say that a picture of me sans wrinkles was BMFF (Before my face fell). That happened over a very short period between the ages of 40 and 45. Then the rest of my body decided to match my face.

Supposedly, losing collagen and elasticity is part of aging, The cure of course for looking younger is to stay out of the sun, diet, exercise, eliminate fats, consume herbs, avoid alcohol and don’t ever smoke. Of course, this is so simple that the drug stores make untold billions selling us all of the supplements, stimulants, lighteners, and moisturizers to replenish ourselves. Am I going to give up golf and walking outside?. I DON’T THINK SO.

 I don’t smoke but I do enjoy the fruit of the vine. For most of my adult life I have had wine with my evening meal. …Maybe that’s it! Wine is good for the heart but it might accelerate the aging process.  Wine vs. Wrinkles?  Hmmmm………… I moisturize, cleanse and replenish. But it still happens. In spite of Cover Girl my body does what it obviously programmed to do. If we spent our lives watching ourselves morph into maturity we could go insane.

 Recently, I went to the DMV to renew my driver’s license. Knowing that I was due for a new picture, I had my roots dyed and my hair cut the day before. I was hoping that if I spruced up, my license would sport a nice image that might be kind to my aging face. It was not the case. As I gasped at the portrait in plastic, the DMV lady, said, in a not so nice way, “It looks exactly like you, honey.” “If that’s the way I look, I need a face lift.” I whined.

 “You said it, not me!” she replied. The entire place broke into laughter.

“ Oh well,” I thought….it could have been worse. Just imagine if I was frowning! My new passport photo is equally unflattering. I look like a deer caught in the headlights. No longer does a nice person pose you so that you can smile and look attractive. NO instead, they took a close-up, without any advance posing time, flashed one startling bright light in my face and handed me the most outrageous picture I have ever taken.

It is meant to be that way. That is the way the Government wants it.  Your pictured identity must fit exactly into a prescribed box, which concentrates you into a 1” square. And for ten years this will serve as your official photo. BUT WE ALL KNOW that in a few years the nightly changes will undo the youthful visage in the 1” square and once again the person in the passport photo will begin to look better to you than the one in the morning mirror. My brother-in-law is a cosmetic surgeon. He believes that a youthful appearance inspires one to act with more élan. Therefore, because of the physical rejuvenation one might be motivated to act younger, leading to a healthier less sedentary life style and therefore live longer. It is an interesting theory and it makes a lot of sense.

In my case, rejuvenation would have to start with my toes. Everything would need to be pulled up to match my face. It would be futile since every morning at 3AM (the middle of the night) something else falls, fails or shifts. There would be no end to the procedure.

So the next time you find another ‘change’ and wonder how it happened or how it got there, remember that your body has it s own agenda and no matter how healthy you are and how much you try to rejuvenate yourself YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE!

Be happy about the reflection in the mirror. Life is about change. Enjoying life is dealing with it.