By ANDREA HIGBIE


"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" last night was supposed to be about yet another dinner party gone bad. The traded glances, the stormy background music, the symbolic olive branch.  But Russell Armstrong's suicide on Aug. 15 changed things. Bravo re-edited parts of this second-season premiere, opening the show with a date -- Aug. 29, 2011 -- on screen as the "Housewives," minus Taylor Armstrong, assembled at Adrienne Maloof's mansion.

Some blamed Beverly Hills, and the pressure to succeed financially. All agreed it was "heartbreaking."

But, according to Kyle Richards, tearfully sniffling, "It was his choice."

"There are plenty of men whose wives leave them and they don't kill themselves."

Armstrong, 47, hanged himself with an electrical cord at a friend's house. The Armstrongs, whose daughter is 5, were estranged, and they had huge financial problems. They had lied about their wealth to get on the show.

Armstrong had a past felony conviction for tax evasion, and there have been lawsuits claiming fraud, along with claims that he and Taylor Armstrong, 40, worked together as professional scam artists. There was talk about physical abuse, and there was also talk of a secret gay life.

The day after Russell Armstrong's suicide, a friend and business associate, Alan Schram, shot himself in the head. He was found dead outside his car on Mulholland Drive, a few blocks from where Armstrong died. Schram, a managing partner in Wellcap, a hedge fund based in Los Angeles, and Armstrong were in Tiger 21, an exclusive investors club. Neither left notes.

Armstrong's parents in Texas were watching the premiere last night to make sure there was nothing that "would make Russell look bad," their lawyer, Ron Richards, said.

Aside from having been on the reality show in the first place, there was nothing. A quick P.S.A. for a national suicide prevention hot line (1-800-273-TALK) is at the show's end.

"The events depicted in this series were recorded prior to the death of Russell Armstrong," the screen reads after the sad opener.

"Life goes on," Kyle said. "It has to." Or, more to the point, the show must go on. It had to.

When last we saw them, back in the winter, the cast members pretty much hated one another, the Armstrongs included. And despite vowing to never darken our TV screens again, Camille Grammer is back gasping for more after sucking up all the air in Season One, and Kim Richards has apparently gotten over her mortification at being outed as an alcoholic by her sister Kyle.

The sisters may not be as close as they were, and their swipes at each other with the dinner party olive branch were more aggressive than playful, but who can turn a deaf ear to the siren song of pseudo-fame?

Season Two then begins with Lisa Vanderpump urging her accessory, Giggy, to go wee-wee, but to no avail. Undaunted, Lisa picks him back up and head into a salon to meet her daughter, Pandora. While Lisa's nails are being polished and Pandora's tresses curled, other, more romantic things are afoot. Jason, Pandora's longtime boyfriend, has popped into the Vanderpump palace to meet with Mr. Vanderpump, Ken.

Jason has come, he says, "to ask permission to marry Pandora." Just like Kris Humphries and Bruce Jenner! So Pandora must be Kim! How classy!

Ken replies, "OK, yeah."

That's new!

Also new is that Adrienne's plastic surgeon husband, Paul Nassif, has grown a sketchy little mustache.  And some face stubble.  They've also adopted a tiny dog, Jackpot.  (The Maloof family made a fortune with casinos.)  Naturally, they dress him up.

Adrienne and Paul bicker a bit, as usual, about the menu for their dinner party.  At the party, they bicker a bit more.  Also on the menu is a screening of the CBS show "$#*! My Dad Says" because Camille had a guest spot on it in February.

Paul kindly reminds us that he's seen Camille's other appearances, memorably in "The Naked Detective," one of her professional credits that so humiliated her last year, especially when the other "Housewives" sent around all those revealing stills of her.

Kyle and Taylor Armstrong go shopping, and Taylor mentions that she saw Cedric, the Vanderpumps' former houseboy who was revealed to be a con artist. Kyle reminds her that she should not be friends with Cedric if Lisa is her friend.

That gives Taylor a chance to say about Lisa: "She is intimidating to me. I don't feel like she likes me."

She doesn't.

Lisa has questioned Taylor's honesty, and at Adrienne and Paul's dinner party, in her solo camera interview, she says, "Taylor's very manipulative."

There's another little yap-off, when the dogs meet at the dinner party. Ken defends his Giggy, saying that "other dogs get jealous of Giggy's beautiful clothing and beautiful face."

Be that as it may, Giggy and Taylor were at the heart of Ken's two faux pas at dinner.

After Paul said to Taylor, "So, what's happening with you guys?" Taylor replied that she and Russell were "working on things" in therapy.

Camille grouchily said, "My ex" -- ie. Kelsey Grammer, whose name she dropped relentlessly until he left her for another woman -- "never gave me that opportunity." 

Ken said, "If I had to go to see a therapist to make my marriage better, I would feel weak."

All the olive branches in all the world could not unsay that. Even an olive branch rescued after a big wind knocked down the olive tree, the one that made Adrienne fall in love with their mansion.  Even the most expensive Champagne in the world, Angel, at $2,200 a bottle, which Adrienne serves to her lucky guests in what Kim says are $550 glasses, cannot unsay what has been said.

And here is where the stormy, threatening music is played. 

Taylor is offended. She rushes from the table to take refuge in the powder room.  Kyle goes after her, to comfort her. Lisa watches this, feeling, as she did last season, that Taylor is stealing her friend.  

"That hurt my feelings really bad," Taylor tells Kyle. "That wasn't nice."

Kyle returns to the table, and informs Ken, "I think you offended her a little bit."

Ken is now offended. "'Offended' is a big word."

Kyle says to the camera: "There are so many words we can't use in this group. I need a whole dictionary for this crowd."

Is that a flush of memory suddenly reddening Camille's cheeks? Last season, she was the offended and offensive one, stumbling over "pernicious," going all "Machiavellic," giving Teresa Giudice over on New Jersey "Housewives" a run for her ingrediences.

But the worst was yet to come.

The offended and/or offensive Ken holds a glass up for Giggy to drink from, which Giggy does. Camille shrieks with delight.

Others at the table gasp, clearly offended.

"I love Giggy, but I don't know how polite that is," Adrienne says in her solo interview. "Especially when the dog's drinking out of your Champagne glasses."

Kim tells the camera: "And then when Giggy's done drinking, Ken take a nice, big gulp himself.  Oh, my god! Ugh!"

Adrienne's chef, Bernie, and his staff sneer. "Dogs at the table!"

So the olive branch didn't make the party peaceful, but on the other hand nothing was said to "make Russell look bad."

Why not give the branch another chance? Just hang onto it, in case their neighbor Charlie Sheen wants to repeat the lovely wedding they threw for him and Brooke Mueller at their home three years ago.  Despite their divorce, Sheen took her out of her Mexican rehab last month, set her up with his rehab team and then they went back to Mexico, to celebrate.

Next Monday, "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" will feature tears and threats, a rejiggered Fergie lookalike and a lot of shrieking about bitches, sluts and crystal meth.  Better hang onto the whole tree.