Every guy has their own personal line in the sand in regards to what constitutes cheating. This guy drew the line at actually fooling around. That way he can go away for the weekend and lie to his girlfriend about how he was "going to see a friend" and not feel guilty.

By getting together with you, he gets to have a brief escape from the mundane. Which isn't to imply he's unhappy with his current relationship. He quite possibly isn't. But he, like a lot of people, probably needs a little variety. That's what you provide.

Why would he travel this far just to hold hands? Well, I suppose because he probably likes and cares for you. But keep something in mind. A lot of men will go to great lengths just to get laid. Yes, they'll even fly across the country and pay several hundred dollars to do it.  Now, it doesn't appear as though that is what this guy was after. But it's just something you should keep in mind for future use. Why does a guy act like a boyfriend when he's not your boyfriend? Because a) he knows the relationship will never go anywhere and therefore it's safe and b) because he was in the moment. Guys will do that. We're the ones that think 10 steps ahead. We're the ones for whom every actions and thought has a special or particular meaning. Men just...react.

To him, he's on a vacation with a good friend. A good friend he holds hands with. That probably doesn't mean to him what it means to you. Same goes for that perceived "strong connection" that you felt when you first met. Sure, he was probably once again in the moment with you. But, like I said a second ago, he knew there was an expiration date to this relationship. That safety net frees guys up to act like a boyfriend and be vulnerable and open up and share. There's not at much at risk. Would he do all this when he knew it probably wouldn't go anywhere? Absolutely. That's when men are most likely to be so responsive and behave like this so soon. He knows, and has told you as much, that this will never be more than it is. He has an out, and it's one that doesn't require or involve tears or drama or a Dear Jane letter. What he's saying is, let's just enjoy this while we're here because this is the only time we'll have it. Sure, he'll allude to other opportunities to get together. Then he'll go home and be with his girlfriend and things will get more serious. He's in the moment, so he'll say anything, even stuff he doesn't mean.

I'm sure he does like you, but I don't think he feels the same way about you that you do about him. I don't think he's given the future a moment's thought. He's in the now...for now.

This guy either had a girlfriend when you met or met her after you left from your summer abroad. I'm guessing it was the latter, as I doubt he could get away with taking off for any sort of holiday weekend without arousing the suspicion of a long time girlfriend. If this trip had been planned for several weeks and he only just met his pseudo-girlfriend, then it's debatable whether or not he was cheating. This could be one of those window of opportunity flings that people like to take advantage of before they become exclusive with someone else.

My advice to you is to move on. He's not The One.

Original post and 17 comments can be found here

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