"We are now the most popular nation in the world.  Popular equals cool. Everyone wants to be cool, why not give them the chance?" - A.H.

The United States of Earth.  Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? 

You can't turn around these days without someone crying "Imperialist" when pointing at the U.S.   This, of course, is stupid.

If we're imperialists, then we're the lousiest imperialists in history.  Which is why we need to shift gears and actually become respectable imperialists.

That's why we start planting flags everywhere.  I'm talking total World Domination. (Insert maniacal laughter here)

Of course we should ask who wants to join first, just to be nice. 

There are countless benefits to this.  First off, to accomplish this might take some serious military clout if the 'asking' thing dosen't work. That means a bigger budget for the DoD, which means a bigger paycheck for Andy. 

Besides that, we might actually get those Unmanned Hover Tanks they've been talking about. I don't care who you are, those things would be freaking awesome!

 "Stand in front of THIS thing Tianamen square boy!"

Once all the former nations are converted into States, we won't need those stupid passports anymore.

More States = more tax payers.  That makes for more taxes, which means better federal programs. We could take some pointers from Japan State and actually have decent education.

We could have more colors for the 'Red State' 'Blue State' maps.

If some asshole corporation sends your job to another State, like China or India State, you can move there and take it back.

Not that there would be much incentive to move jobs to other States, as actual U.S. citizens, those former foreign countries could organize unions and would have to deal with federal regulations.

Everyone will have to speak English and Spanish, the offical languages of the U.S.  Just ask that electronic lady on the phone.

The Presidental elections would be far cooler, and no one would care if a canidate was supposedly from Kenya State.

We wouldn't have to hate Iran and North Korea anymore, except for the normal way States hate eachother by complaining about their drivers and their sports teams.  If they have nukes, they would now be "our" nukes.

Gays would be finally universally accepted in the military because we'd need every last man woman and child who could carry a weapon to help us win the Final Great Battle For World Domination, or the Global War on Everyone.  Whatever sounds better on CNN.

This would also eliminate the need for recruiting, as they'd bring back the draft, and this time if you run to Canada, you're still in the U.S., sucker.

More State governors, represenatives and senators means more scandals. That's just good news.

If people in certain States didn't like how things were going down, they could just sue us like normal U.S. citizens instead of suicide boming.

We could finally turn the moon into a Death Star.  Don't ask why, it has to do with the Mars Miner Revolt and I can't talk about that yet.

The biggest benefit, however, would be an end to all this talk of how imperialisim is bad.

Once the final war is over, there will be no more wars.  Who would we fight? Ourselves in another Civil War? Nope, it would never happen, you know why?  Because when it all boils down to it, the States are too damn tied to federal funds to risk that.

The peacenicks and dorks who cry 'we're imperialists' would be dead right at that point, but no one would listen.  It would be like screaming, 'We're a democratic republic' in the streets. Everyone would be like "Yea, and...?"

On a global level this would bring absolute perfection.  And Alex Jones and Pat Robertson's heads would explode.

You can do your part.  Start by signing internet petitions, then march in the streets. Talk to your leaders, let them know what you want.  Start wearing "Afganistan State University" T-shirts and showing your pride for one world government under the United States. 

No matter where you go......there we are. Who's with me?