The other night, I watched a series on PBS about Prohibition.

It's a good series and gives some good insight into the who, the what, and such of this era, that if it hadn't happened, a few 'Families' probably wouldn't have been as big and rich as they became due to them… Read full post »

My Pap-pa(grand daddy) had just passed away.

I was sad.

Real sad.

I went outside and there, standing on the curb, was a bunch of human type kids.

I killed each and every one of them with a hammer to the skull.

I was happy.

Real happy.

Happy does not… Read full post »

So there I was, in my new job as 'Monkey on the Left' at the San Diego Zoo last week when the zoo keeper, we call him 'Joe' but his real name is 'Andie', comes up to the stage where I was performing my routine act(double triple high kicks with a… Read full post »

To be serious, for a moment or two, I don't believe there was ever a true moment that I felt 'Most American'.

I have always felt 'American' since for as long as I can remember.

A lot of people will mention Sept. 11th, and I might too, but then that feeling… Read full post »

 Here is my collection of pop bottle caps.  I have many of them.

From the elusive COLA to the orange soda to the 'Ewwww!' lemon soda.

I have many of them, each one saved since 1976, when me and my grandfather would go to the little country store down the road from… Read full post »

I'm sitting here watching television, there's some politicians on talking about how we should balance the budget, cut here, slice and dice there.

They want to cut funding to everything that doesn't lead to their pockets.

But, my friends, isn't that where we should start?

Instead of cutting funding to… Read full post »

Angry Monkey doesn't usually do 'Current News Stories', especially when it's about politicians.

When it's about politicians flexing their muscles in an attempt to get laid, then, HI! I'M ANGRY MONKEY AND HERE'S THE NEWS!

Stuff like text and pictures taken from here ----

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41… Read full post »

Who the hell ordered the snow?

Can I jam a hot poker up their rectum?

Rectum?

Damn near killed 'em!

Snow, it isn't your friend. 

It pretends to be.

Good actor that son of a dog who happens to be female! 

There you are, walking down the street, going to th… Read full post »

#1...Online ads with sound!

There I am, reading a blog about some poor lady who lost her son to the Clap, when suddenly, out of nowhere, comes the voice of Jamie Lee Curtis telling me how I should eat more yogurt so my bowels will move better.

I don't mind ads.… Read full post »

The other day I was sitting at my computer, getting ready to type up my next award winning article when my 'You got mail' alerted me to the arrival of a new message in my PM box.

"Dear Angry Monkey, my birthday is January 22nd and this year, I will… Read full post »

"I got your assitance right here!!!!"

From Suzan and Williams Amani/Appeal for Assitance.

Very few people outside the Doc Trenton Rehab Clinic and Pysch Treatment Center in Walla Walla, Washington know that Tinkerertink69 is suicidal(and an admitted sex offender and glue sniffer! Things you learn on the Internet!!!).

Just the other day he tried to kill himself by drinking a large bot… Read full post »

The other day, I was out on the front porch of one Tinkerertink69. We were drinking milk and eating chocolate cupcakes he had stolen acquired through sources he wouldn't divulge, but they were good cupcakes, so I didn't ask.

"You know what pisses me off the most about life and the… Read full post »

 You know what really pisses me off to no end? THE SYSTEM!!!

It's beyond fucked up, going into dead.

You pay into the System for years,

• Unemployment Insurance
• Social Security
• Taxes
• The Prostitute Retirement Fund

Etc. Etc. Etc. and when it comes time for you, the payee,… Read full post »

 Everyone knows that a monkey likes nothing better than a banana or some mangos to eat but when we can't find them, we go with some Spam ™ !

Spam™ is delicious all by itself and those who say it isn't, are communists!

But sometimes, we like our Spam™ kicked up… Read full post »

"You're fired!!! Don't you dare fling your poo at me!!"

So there I was, your loveable monkey and most favorite blogger, minding my own business, waving at the tourists as they walked by my cage at the zoo, when suddenly, Ms. 'Rather kill em then feed em'  beloved by none, come… Read full post »

Angry Monkey has seen the right hand side of the feed get cluttered up with the Megan Fox stories. Angry Monkey wants some of those cheap hits too.  Angry Monkey got a job, a reporter for Rolling Stone magazine. My first assignment:  Get nude photos of  with Megan Fox

First t… Read full post »

Alright, Angry Monkey busted out of solitary. He was getting tired of hearing the sounds of silence. 

Stupid rules, bite one kid on the testicle, and wasn't even a bite, a nip, a growl more like it, but them sunsubabitches wouldn't hear any of it.  Snap, crack, throw you in a… Read full post »

Angry monkey is angry! 

Very angry.

The Man behind the zoo, what they call director of animal services, has decided that a handsome monkey such as myself does not need companionship.

What does this mean?

No monkey ass for Angry Monkey!

This just isn't right! 

Then that bitch… Read full post »

ANGRY MONKEY TRIES TO HACK DA ZOO KEEPER'S COMPUTER SO HE CAN BLOG AND/OR CRUISE PORN!!

So yeah, it's been a few days since my first post, and I got a good reason for not posting, that damn zoo keeper locked down his computer with some pretty tricky software.… Read full post »

So one day, there I am, just sitting in a tree,… Read full post »