^{Postscript --- No surprises to report. The HR lady called me at work to inform me that I "was not among the candidates who were selected for the second round of interviews."} 

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Maybe it wasn’t all that bad.

Perhaps I am just “thin skinned” from dealing with the stress of my husband’s unemployment, the sky-high Cobra bills and looming depletion of our already thin checking account. Perhaps it is because the non-profit where I work is struggling with state cutbacks and can neither afford to pay me enough to cover my family’s expenses nor put me on their insurance plan. (Mind you, I took this position when my husband had a job so it was lagniappe – not meant to be the sole source of income for our family). Perhaps it is because I am trying to hold it together while managing my elderly mother’s affairs, offering support to my sister who is struggling to care for a young adult child with a serious mental illness.  Perhaps it is because I feel increasingly helpless to fix any of this while trying my best to be available and present for my wonderful, moody teenage son and my increasingly depressed, demoralized husband who's been job hunting for over a year.

In March, when it became clear that his employment prospects were not going to improve, I decided I had no other choice but to start job hunting myself -  even though I like my work, my co-workers and our organization which does good things for humanity.  The reality was that my situation had changed and I needed to find a position that could support the three of us and provide health insurance.

Until two weeks ago my search had only resulted in three brief, pleasant phone interviews that led nowhere, so when the HR rep from a very large well-known organization called to arrange an in-person interview for a job, which offered a good salary plus benefits – well, I jumped at the opportunity.

I have never worked harder to prepare for an interview. In addition to my resume which got their attention, the HR rep asked me to fill out an online application, and to please bring two examples of my previously published writing, photocopied in triplicate. In the days before the interview, I studied the organization’s website, read their newsletter and reviewed issues that might relate to the position. From that information, I was able to produce not two, but four distinctly relevant writing samples for their review. I pored over my husband’s outplacement literature about how to handle interviews and was determined to make a good impression.

Things did not start out on a positive note. Arriving the requisite 15 minutes before the scheduled appointment, I asked the security guard for directions to the restroom, upon which I was informed that the nearest  bathroom was located “outside the building, through the construction site, around the corner, in the Starbucks, two doors past the Happy Nails salon.”

I crossed my legs and waited.  Which was time well spent as it provided a good view of my potential co-workers, a sad looking lot who trudged, shuffled and plodded across the grey, marble floor – some heading out for a smoke.

Fortunately, the HR rep appeared exactly 15 minutes later and escorted me to her office. “Shirley” was actually quite nice and the pre-interview went well enough for her to pass me along to the the man who would make the ultimate decision about my suitability for the job. My potential boss. I felt sharp and ready to show my knowledge of the organization, to demonstrate my skills were up to the task, to hear about their needs.

After introductions were made, I settled into the leather chair across from  Mr. Future Boss's expansive desk and the interview began. His first probing and insightful question was: “How do you handle office gossip?” This seemed like an odd way to start things off, and was somewhat insulting, but hey, I was there to answer questions. When he the followed up with, “How do you respond when co-workers or supervisors lose their temper?"  I began to have the sinking feeling that this might not be a very nice place to work. Still, the benefits and salary would help our family dig out of our deepening financial hole, so as I answered that one, too, hoping that we would finally get to some serious, useful discussion ABOUT THE JOB!

But the litany of inane, irrelevent questions continued: “If you were to rate your writing on a scale of 1 to 10, what would it be?” and  “Name three adjectives friends would use to describe you.” and “How are your listening skills?” At this point I was sorely tempted to say, “What?”

By the time I was able to direct Mr. Future Boss's attention to my writing samples, to discuss the position, and to learn more information about his organization, I noticed he was looking at his watch. It was 4:45 pm and I suppose he wanted to finish in time to catch his train back to the suburbs. 

His parting statement was to the effect that they were still "talking to candidates" and that all of my further contact should be with “Shirley.”

Concluding that I would never be a serious contender for this job, I went home, found Mr. Future Boss's email address, disregarded his last instructions (poor listening skills, I guess) and promptly sent him a “thank you” note. 

What are your interview horror stories?