Warning: this is a rant.
I recently logged on to my internet and saw a headline that sparked my interest: The Truth About Balancing Children and Career.
Cool, I thought, maybe some wisdom from other real moms who've been there and figured something out I haven’t ? (That list is endless)
And what I hope they'd tell me, Ann Murray Paige, who often worries that abandoning her full-time TV career to grab at threads of freelance work while I stay home with my kids wasn't the best thing (what did I miss out on?) is "yes it was the best move you made to drop your career to stay home with your kids. You will never regret that."
But then I saw the sub-title: Celebrities talk about how they managed career and kids; Candace Bergen and Whoopi Goldberg, etc. Oh, FORGET it—I though--that's not a real parenting article.
And before you think I’m anti-celebrity, let me assure you I am not. In fact I’d like to BE one. Who wouldn't with all the freebies and money and skip-to-the-head-of-the-line that comes with it? But I digress.
Here’s my point: if you're a star plus you have kids then you clearly have help raising your family. You also have money, and fame, and position—all things which are respected in this '21st century/so what do YOU do?' world we live in.
If you don’t think so, just go to a cocktail party—if you can find one—and tell anyone who wants to know what you do for a living that you stay home with your kids. Clock how fast it takes that scotch-sipper to find a reason to walk away from you. Why do I know this? I have been there. Trust me: it’s all or nothing for these people.
And then there are the stars seen with their children on the streets, inevitably becoming gushy celebrity magazine fodder with the click of the paparazzi camera: 'Here’s Im A. Star, sipping a latte while strolling with Priviledged One in his doubles-as-a-Maserati stroller from Expensivekids.com.' There’s a 5 thousand dollar photo right there.
The picture they don't print is mommy on her Blackberry calling her agent to talk about his cut in her latest million dollar movie, while some nanny grabs Baby Bling and nurses him with organic baby milk from celebrity cows (who likely crunch organic hay and sleep under electric blankets like in a Betsey Lewin children’s book.)
And speaking of children’s books: if I see one more celebrity writing a kids book I will scream. Why will I scream? Because like all of us unpublished writers on this site I WANT A BOOK CONTRACT! But it’s so EASY for celebs to get one (Hi, Ms. Brooke Shields? I’ll put you right through) and it’s so HARD for a not-on-TV-anymore mom to get one (WHO is this? Click.)
I told you this was a rant. I’m almost done.
Apparently, you don’t have to be a good parent to put together a rhyming book about twinkle little star: you actually have to BE a star. Meanwhile, the nobodies of the world—insert me here-- are the equivalent of a galaxy black hole when it comes to shopping a book manuscript.
So when somebody in the “real world” gets published I am awe struck. I am much more impressed with someone like almost unknown Maine author Deb Landry getting a book deal than with Madonna’s umpteenth juvenile ditty. Or Jamie Lee Curtis, bless her heart, I’m sure she’s really nice, but UGH, she’s already a movie star, does she have to be a New York Times bestselling author TOO?
Yes I am jealous. I am green with envy. I wish I had just some of the leg-up that celebrities get in this world to expound on their knowledge of kids books or lattes or balancing careers and children.
The only balancing that seemed to get me ANY notice in my life was while pushing my child in his Wal-mart stroller, hitting the curb and spilling my local Green Mountain coffee all down my shirt. Now there’s balance for you. No paparazzi cared, no 5 K pay out , but if you were walking down Main Street in small town Maine 10 years ago you would have seen it it all—for FREE.
Take THAT, Candace Bergen.
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Comments
Is it possible that the scotch sipper who walked away from the self-pronounced SAHM is no more dismissive than your declaration that an article written by celebrity moms wasn't a real parenting article? Didn't both make assumptions that perhaps has no basis in reality? Moreover, did both commit the cardinal sin of presuming that the person in question was less than?
I detest how easy it is for celebs to realize their dreams so quickly simply because they are famous in another arena when unpublished writers who've been trying to get an audience with a publishing house for years are roundly ignored. It's not fair.....but as long as we continue to feed the tabloids by purchasing their garbage, that's unfortunately what will continue to happen. Celebs sell. Just like in the MSM, if it bleeds, it leads.
I feel the same way about actors who seem to get cast in every movie despite there being more talented little known actors who would sell a kidney to get the job. But celebrity sells, even if the movie stinks.
Whenever I see or hear some SAHMs complain about how they are marginalized, I sense that they have some unspoken regrets about their choices. I could be dead wrong about that.....but I do feel that some think that they may have bowed to societal pressure and/or the choice wasn't really their own. I believe in navigating through this life on your own terms and that each decision should be something that you can live with.
If you choose to stay home full time, you must know that your career options have changed. Notice I did not say it would be over....but you have chosen to focus your energies somewhere else primarily.....at least for a certain period of time. I work full time in an office setting and I want to write too. I understand by virtue of the fact that I work full time, the time that I have to devote to writing is limited.
Sorry for hijacking your rant, but I just wanted to show another side of the same coin. Great post and rated.
They work their asses off to perform functions that we don't. There is no comparison between a woman who can do the thousands of hours of work and preparation that goes into an hour and a half show, a two hour musical, or a feature film, AND still raise her kids, AND do charitable work, AND take care of the business of business.
There's no comparison with women who don't even bother to take some voice lessons and volunteer for the local theater group, or organize her days to allow for something more, such as getting more education to allow for a better paying job.
Wholesale: Most women will never support other women, except where it serves a personal purpose. Most are too good at tearing each other down, making negative comparisons, and expressing jealous resentment, while inflating their own self worth beyond what is deserved.
Thankfully, many women are in situations where we learn how to support each other. Hopefully one day these women will become "most" women.
I think you all have great points and I thank you for sharing them.
This blog is as much tongue-in-cheek as it is sincere: meaning I don't truly dislike or not support female celebrities. I love a good Sandra Bullock movie and I love Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen and Whoopi on The View (even with all the controversey that show seems to attract).
I am just in a meager middle-of-the-road, supporting role of a life at the moment and I get a little jealous of those who seem to"have it all." But do I know that nobody "has it all" and I know that celebs work hard--alright, maybe not Paris Hilton, but on the whole--to get where they are. I just wish the social landscape allowed for a little bit more for the rest of us. A little roll out of the red carpet for us nobodies who have so much to offer but can't seem to grab any of that 20th Century Fox spotlight. BTW Zumilicious, oddly enough, I signed up for voice lessons just last month and I am scanning the area for theatre groups to take a never-had-been now. So consider your advice taken before you ever gave it. I'll let you know how I do..
So all is not lost, I am still out here plugging for my gender, plugging for the starlets, and hoping that at some point a little luck rolls my way. And if Candace Bergen ever reads this: I thought you did great work on Murphy Brown and I am available for ghost writing your next book of memoirs. Call me.
:) Ann