Sprezzatura

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Ann Nichols

Ann Nichols
Location
East Lansing, Michigan,
Birthday
December 31
Bio
I write, I read, I clean up after people and I worry about things. I have a chronic insufficiency of ironic detachment. My birthday isn't really December 31; it's March 22 but it won't let me change it.

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Salon.com
JANUARY 24, 2012 11:47AM

My (Foolish) Hearts

Rate: 14 Flag

 

 Heart Tree

It is, perhaps, telling that my two favorite holidays are a) non-religious and b) associated with the acquisition of large amounts of candy. I love the autumnal, supernatural-tinged crispness of Halloween, and I adore Valentine’s Day’s pink, and red, and sparkles, and lace, and…hearts. I could live forever without the mushy sentiments. When I was single the romantic aspects of the holiday left me anguished, desperate and anxious for the relief that came on the 15th of February. Now that I am old and married, I am largely of the opinion that if you express your love only (or even mainly) because of Hallmark, you have some work to do on the home front. It is not the sentiment, but the trappings that “send” me.

Although real, anatomical hearts are not particularly prepossessing as objects, they are beautiful in their own way. It would be hard to live without one. What I love, though, is the shape as old as the ice age, a shape that probably came from the combining of an ancient symbol for fire and that of the astrological sign Aries. It is, to my eyes, a perfect shape. It combines gentle curves for those who like curves, and they suggest other things that are rounded, erotic, comforting and otherwise love-worthy. For those who prefer straight lines and pointy things, there is everything below the curves, all straight lines and an exquisite point. Pentagrams are nifty, but they have nary a curve if the scribe is sober. The infinity symbol has two lovely, looping curves but what if one needs the crunchy edginess of a line or an acute angle?

heart 

The heart is universally recognized regardless of language, easy to draw, and you can even make one with your hands if there isn’t a crayon handy. As a child, I loved making homemade valentines from red, pink and white construction paper, bits of lace, doilies and sparkly things. I was sad to discover that, by the time my son was old enough for school Valentine’s Day parties the hand crafting of valentines was largely a lost art; his classmates preferred tiny rectangles printed with images of Sponge Bob and Dora, the stubble of inadequate perforation marking them as the very opposite of homemade. I tried, in vain, to interest him in making valentines from scratch, but he was a boy, and not a particularly artsy one. Defeated, I bought him cardboard boxes of cardboard valentines, supervising dutifully as he taped tiny boxes of Nerds to each card, writing the recipient’s name in his unintelligible hand.

 The adoration of the hearts is, then, left to me. I doodle them often, embellishing them with flowers, swirls and making concentric mandalas. I wear them as jewelry, and one of my most prized possessions is a heart-shaped stone found on the beach. It has always seemed to me to be a message from the cosmos, recognition of my love for the form and for the ocean that shaped it. At this time of year I make garlands of hearts; in the past they have been made from everything from old book pages to vintage fabric. This year I am felting hearts from a braid of angora wool that varies from richest cream to the deep, velvety pink of a tea rose. They will probably be made into a garland, or I may secure a loop of ribbon to top of each one and pass them out to those I love. They are less fattening than chocolate, and after living in a box with a hand full of rose petals they will embody silky, fragrant gentleness – not a gift of passion, but one of deep and sincere love.

 heart bowl

The history of Valentine’s Day and of St. Valentine himself is a murky mixture of tenuous attribution and pagan festivity. I prefer to see it as a time to think of warmth between friends, family and lovers, and a promise that beneath the hard, cold ground there is a quickening of the universe as it readies for the warmth of the sun in the coming spring. In that spirit, then, I offer you my hearts.

 

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Comments

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Valentines Day? I still am enjoying left-over WW-2 `SPAM in Green Cans.
You have heart.
Ay, Thanksgiving.
`
On Halo wean night
`
the old codger
screaming at trick-or-treaters
`Hit the road, beggars!`
`
``
``
I accept your heart
`
I love them too, and I do love holidays with candy and less insane familial pressure. ALthough sometimes, being out of the "gauzy circle" of those celebrating romance is its own special hell. For years I sent myself flowers and endearing notes-one year I got myself a goldfish. I
rats...will I never learn to check the position of my blasted cursor before I print post...Lost half of my response.

Essentially- I love your writing and adore seeing what you are creating now. I see hearts everywhere and enjoyed the photo of the tree branch. Making things is such a freeing and re-energizing process...and such a wonderful personal way to really "give your heart away." Thanks, Ann! Rated
I tried posting an emoticon heart as a comment. OS gave me an error message. Wish I was as clever as Algis so I could create a heart you deserve.
Thank you. I love Valentines Day for a few reasons but mostly because of the hearts. Am thinking I might find an essay I wrote a while ago and post. That tree is a wonder!
Anne,

I am back on OS after a very long time... I sought your page out, and I was not disappointed!

Your writing is effortless and amazing. Thank you. x
I love your fuzzy hearts!! I remember trying to draw hearts as a kid and it was a challenge. To get the two bumps on top to come out equal is tricky. But the nice thing is that even asymmetrical hearts are just fine most of the time. Thanks for this inspiring post.
I am warmed, entertained with your post... as usual, Ann. My take on Valentines Day -- well it's similar but admittedly much more crass. I love to see the turn of the season from Christmas to Red February -- love all the candy boxes (which I don't buy) the Victoria's Secret windows -- the red boxer shorts and ties...oh, and the windows in jewelry stores reminding it's time for proposals and diamonds... all the sight of it, makes me certain that March is near, and spring is on the way. Valentine's Day is my way of turning the corner on winter. . . I have been known however, to cook up very festive Valentine's Weekend feasts for guests. . .setting tables in red roses and ... hearts, old valentines. You are right, it's a lovely holiday.
I love the deconstruction of the shape of the heart. I never thought about curves and lines in those terms before. It's like seeing into an artist's mind! Wonderful.
Yep, I feel the same way. Felted hearts! What a fine idea! I may have to steal it.
Thanks for the memories of homemade valentines. I always made a mess with the paste.
There are too many heart shaped shells on the beach here to even try and collect to send to you. Your mailbox would runneth over. I just look at them now and take them as a message of care and love from someplace beyond ... very beautiful and rather mystical (no calories either)
As a child Valentine's Day was my favorite holiday. All the crafting and cutting and sentiment ..and candy! With hints of romantic intrigue. I love your felted hearts. They'll last longer and are far less fattening than candy hearts.
I just saw this and I loved it instantly. I especially love the bowl of fuzzy hearts at the end with your last sentence. What a touching masterpiece. Many times with your writing I can get so involved in your words that I forget you are attached on the other end. Sounds silly, doesn't it? This was very personal, and for that reason, very touching.