Waiting for biopsy results can be crippling and cruel, much like the chigger bites I have all up my legs, that I got walking through my ex's overgrown grass to collect my daughter. You try to scratch the itch, but the gnawing feeling keeps on coming. You're rendered speechless, trying to find comfort or consoling words. Monday can't come soon enough, even though there is a possibility you won't like what you're going to hear.

Step one: Keep your sense of humor

What do I say to my friends 23 year old son that lost his mother to cancer a little more than a year ago? "Your Dad is tough he's got it beat. He's healthy, he's strong". And while I believe it in the bottom of my soul, that everything is going to get better and better, they're still words to him. It may help a little to say these words, or to let him know I'm here to do anything I can, but it doesn't take away the black cloud that is looming overhead. Pat had a biopsy on his tail bone last Friday.  When he spoke to his son recently his son asked, "Did they take a big bite outta your butt?" Pat said, "Just a taste", refering to a recent incident I had with a monkey.

We were in Eureka Springs and there was a fellow there with a pet monkey selling photos. I had visions of the con and his accomplice pick-pocket so I quickly grabbed hold of my purse. They didn't need to con, they had a good gig going on and I went for it. For just $5.00 I, too, could have my photo taken with his monkey. I wanted a picture of the monkey by himself in front of the flowers, for my daughter's jungle themed room. I was soon informed that wasn't what I wanted and he whipped the urine stinking animal up on my shoulder. I was so taken aback and mortified at what vermon or bacteria the beast that landed on me was infested with, I put my hand up by him. He first snapped at my finger and when I winced, snapped at my cheek. The man said, "He's just tasting you. He's giving you some love." Fortunately the monkey was toothless, probably from the hard candy he was sucking on, a ritual treat I'm sure.

Everybody need their treats, ours has been wine. Step two: Try to relax. It's hard to let loose and relax when tensions are high. The aforementioned looming cloud and the stresses of the work day, lend itself to long vacant stares at one another. With severe conditions in the past and potentially in the wake, selecting bottles of wine from different countries brings a subtle and occupying pleasure.There's the Shiraz Pinotage from Australia OR the Merlot-Cabernet from Spain. One has a peppery undertone, the other a smooth finish. Of course you can't get too fancy when we're only willing to pay 10.00 or less. But it takes your imagination to the places they come from, a momentary vacation. After a bottle, the bed beckons much sweeter than the many nights before of tossing and turning.

Step three: Stay Open

As a support system not the patient, if I didn't have faith and my God to look to, I don't know what I'd do. For me it keeps my heart open and keeps the love flowing. It's easy to want to get depressed or angry, do it, but push through it. For me I think I'm not going to be strong enough. Let your love for the person be your strength, they need you. I also feel like I'm really not doing anything to help. Just be there and pray, encourage, console the best you know how. They already feel alone, fighting against their own body. Just make sure to take care of yourself, too so you can stay the course.

There is beauty in this heavy laden journey. One of human resilience, perseverance and hope.