Cartouche started it. 

She wrote a funny and hugely-popular piece asking people to create an OS slogan.  NoisyNora suggested this:  “You can sign out any time you like… but you can never leave…”  

This echo of “Hotel California” gave me an earworm, and I finally decided to make the best of things and rewrite the song as an ode to OS.  

So here it is – inspired by Nora and a bit of Chardonnay – and offered with profound apologies to Don Henley:  

Click play to sing along!

(Thanks Tequila and Verbal for teaching me how to embed!)

OS World of Writers

On the internet highway,

Cordless mouse in my hand,

Bored with Twitter and Facebook,

I had some thoughts to expand. 

Then I clicked on a hot link

For a new blogging site.

My fingers trembled and my mind went wild;

I would be writing all night. 

Then I got my first comments,

And a handful of rates

And I was reading other posts

And enjoying some lively debates.

And I met some Fab artists

And a cake-loving troll.

There was no Verbal Remedy

For this new hold on my soul… 

Welcome to the OS World of Writers

Post your poems and peeves

(post your poems and peeves)

Say what you believe

They’re bloggin’ it up in the OS World of Writers

All your hopes and fears…

(All your hopes and fears)

Come expose them here…  

That horse is definitely twisted;

Tequila brings the wit;

There's a fun-loving sheepdog;

Dr. Amy is causing a snit.

Sandra writes scary fiction;

Persephone weaves magic songs.

Jodi gives us the saga

Of a tan gone terribly wrong.

Mommy, what’s for dinner?

"Kids, it’s sandwich night!

Mother’s working on a funny post

And the rhythm has got to be right."

Provocative titles seduce their willing prey…

Keep you up till all hours of the night

Wondering what they’ll say… 

Welcome to the OS World of Writers

It’s a literate place…

(It’s a literate place)

Full of fun and grace…

They’re bloggin’ it up in the OS World of Writers

Bring your deviant charms...

(Bring your deviant charms)

You'll find open arms!

Liberals on the ceiling,

Politics and advice…

Cartouche said,

“We are all just prisoners here

Of our own writing vice.” 

And in the Joan/Kerry chambers

They blogwhored wild and free.

Their writing sparkled with brilliance and heart,

But they just can’t get an EP!

Last thing I remember

I was heading off to bed.

It was four in the morning

I was bleary eyed, feeling half dead… 

Come back, said the cover,

Here’s a post that you won’t believe!

You can sign out any time you like…

But you will never leave…   

If you’ve come this far – and ESPECIALLY if you’ve sung along (in which case, I’m in your fan club) – what about making the recent OS parties an annual event and forming an Open Salon band?   

Dave Barry is in a band called Rock Bottom Remainders, along with Matt Groening, Stephen King, and Amy Tan.   I feel certain we have the talent here to create music that would be appreciated by fellow OSers (once they’ve had enough cake and Chardonnay).   

What would we call this band?  And any other suggestions for song covers?

 ADDENDUM:

 Helen O'Reilly - whose lyric genius spilled forth in under 10 minutes - not that I'm resentful about that just because I spent an embarrassing three hours on MY song - anyway, Helen posted a new ode to OS, sung to Strangers in the Night - you'll love it!