I thought that this year would be the year that I would finally escape my mind (and depression) as it relates to the holidays. No such luck. Tonight I was chatting with Tanya, and as we were talking I realized that I missed Mom. (We were doing the stereotypical *squee! ZOMG*… Read full post »

So, in December of 2008 my maternal uncle was back in the pokey. Now that I look back I realize that the only time he intentionally reaches out to me is when he is locked up. Hmm. Food for thought, no?

Even though he IS blood there are times, more often… Read full post »

You terrify me.
(Please don't break my heart.)

There is so much more I could show you; that I could give you.
(Please don't break my heart.)

But ...
... I am afraid.

Afraid of showing that much to you. Of giving that much to you. I want… Read full post »

In lieu of real content, I leave you with an IM conversation that happened just now. (Hey, I don't have to be all emo-writer all the time, right? Er, write?)

me: I think my cat just tried to make out with me

Tanya: wtf?

me: I… Read full post »

Sometimes the now leads you to appreciate quotes like this …

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be… Read full post »

Wednesday night last I found myself at The Knitting Factory in Hollyweird, CA, invited there by an old friend to shoot a show with her.

The line up was: The Black Widows, The Pack A.D., and Nomeansno. All three bands were amazing, but TPA and No stole the show.

In lieu of… Read full post »

So, there I sat. Watching, and catching, fireflies in my hand. And there you sat.

As I opened my fist to watch that glowing insect flitter about, I saw you doing the same; our faces lit with luminescence and awe. 

"These lips? They are ours."

Yes.

Yes.

Yes! I found out that you ARE real.… Read full post »

It seems that since I first had to deal with an alarm clock, the last few decades years months weeks days I’ve been mentally sleeping and hitting the snooze button more often than is healthy.

And, yes, I have had a love/hate with waking up since pre-school …

..… Read full post »

I know that turning 40 freaked you the fuck out. I know this, you know this.

But? You handled it with grace, and aplomb. Over the weekend you gathered to your heart your nearest and dearest, and we were able to celebrate you, WITH you.

And that?

Was your gift, to US.

You are… Read full post »

(Although this started out as an explanation to one particular person, it turned into a plea into my friends; we are all human here. See the question at the very end.)

Through most of my dating and relationship life, I've had my fair share of pet names. They have spanned… Read full post »

So, meanwhile, over on my Facebook, I've been posting some quotes that struck me. I'm sharing them now with you, my OS family.

On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so… Read full post »

Here I sit, physically still, mentally zooming. So much of this static is not something I can write about because …

… because.

There are parts that I can share, make public. Yet …

… I don’t.

But maybe not in the same way you felt it.

I was raised Catholic. (VERY Catholic. Very IRISH CATHOLIC (TM).) We had more photos of the Pope on our walls than we did family photos. And we had even more of the Kennedy's. So ... I was raised with a healthy… Read full post »

Left foot on the dash,
Hot wind blows my hair awry.
The soul? It flies free.

Sweat makes its way down
Down between breast left, and right.
My hand? Finds its way.

Suicidal plays
Their songs vie for attention
From the cicadas.

Texas, in summer.
Never loved you more than now.
This? Was that moment.

So …

I love my boys. I really do. Just over 2 years ago (has it really been that long?) a friend of mine calls me up saying that there were some youngins that were found behind a dumpster, starving and close to death.… Read full post »

The person in my circle of friends who is famous for monegreening is typically yours truly. “Buttlink” and “wanna hump?” are just two examples that pop immediately to mind in my long history of mishearing innocent comments. Today, for one of the very few times, I was not the o… Read full post »

Eyes lock. Tentative  
smiling from across the street.
More looks. Then? A kiss.

Later … me, under.
You? On top, holding me down.
Smiles, sighs, and singing.

Looking up I see …
Desire. A smile. And joy.
Giggles come from me.

“Is something funny?”,
you ask. Almost… Read full post »

Honestly? I haven't been too active here on OS lately. Blame that on my wonky brain and bizarre life schedule.

However, when I come back to read some great posts? All I see is sniping. (Really? I love all y'all, but this? GAH!)

Rail at me all you want - I deserve it.… Read full post »

There’s so much going on in the world, with my friends, in my life, and in my head. Too much stimuli, and no clear way of processing all of the information being sent my way. Yes, much of it is my own damn fault. Work is insanely busy (which is A… Read full post »

Yesterday (July 18^th) was Nelson Mandela’s 91^st birthday.Below is a link to a 2 Tone song by The Special AKA (aka, The Specials).

More to come about 2 Tone and racial harmony, but there is no time for me to write about it. 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3NJwyzFlTE Read full post »

I was geared up and ready to head up to Seattle for one of my nearest and dearest friends wedding. Bags were packed, Tim was situated to take care of my menagerie and then? Then Tim calls me at work (Tim is my most recent ex) saying, "So, your uncle's girlfriend… Read full post »

So, a little birdie told me it was your birthday ...

Okay, it wasn't a birdie, per se, but instead a little info box in your OS profile. Either way it is your birthday (or at least close enough for government work).

I tried to grow a garden, so…

Read full post »

Lately I’ve been rolled into myself, protecting the soft core, like a roly-poly. Sometimes it’s hard to break out of that circle, but I’m trying.

Cooking helps. A lot. And I haven’t in a long while. But tonight? Tonight I did.

If you love your arteries,… Read full post »

I’ve been in, but not of, life.

Too much time spent on the hamster wheel …

… spinning …

… spinning …

… spinning … but never moving forward.

Static.… Read full post »