I know that turning 40 freaked you the fuck out. I know this, you know this.

But? You handled it with grace, and aplomb. Over the weekend you gathered to your heart your nearest and dearest, and we were able to celebrate you, WITH you.

And that?

Was your gift, to US.

You are going through some life upheavals right now. You are in the middle of a churning sea, with no hopeful sight of the shore. But I can see it. I can see it for you. Even if you can't quite see it yourself. 

You may feel like you are floundering, but trust me when I say this ... I see you currently doing the doggie-paddle. Not only do I see it, but I feel it. But, please, believe me when I say: I also see you swimming towards the shore. The shore that is full of nothing but light, and happiness, and the perfect temperature. And on that shore? I see a hut, a house, a home, where your perfect partner is awaiting you.

Just because you can't see it yet, clearly, I can. So ... trust my vision. Yes, I know that it's hard to let go, to give it up. But, really? We have been through so much together, have trusted each other with so much, that I have to ask this ... would I lie to you?

So, paddle away, my nearest and dearest. You need to tread these chaotic waters now, so that you can find your peaceful lagoon. (Think of it as building up your emotional muscles. But please know that your friends surround you, like emotional floaties.) And when you allow yourself to find, and revel in, that halcyon place? Please believe this - you have earned it; nay, you DESERVE it.

A few days after your 40th, this is what I wish for you - solitude, when you need and desire it; companionship, when you really want to push it away; but most of all, love. In all its forms. (Whether or not you think, or feel, you deserve it. Because? You do. You REALLY do.)

You, my "buttlink", are never shaken. Nor are you stirred. Instead? You are always on the rocks.

And that's the best way to be. I adore you, and wish you nothing but overwhelming joy in this, your 40th turn around the sun.