Sometimes the now leads you to appreciate quotes like this …

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Maryanne Williamson

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For the last few months, I have been living in the now – no “then” and no “and then”.

And?

That can be A Good Thing™. But focusing on the now can also lead you astray on the journey of the “then” (be that just plain or also “and”). Sometimes though, the now … it can be a blessing.

A blessing, like this:

This particular “now”? The above “now”? Was awesome, and amazing. There were seals frolicking in the bay, the Fantastical Man laughing, and a transplanted Pennsylvanian talking too loudly and a touch too exuberantly, on his phone.

There was no heartache, no crazy bosses, no debt, no pain, no anxiety, no … nothing. We all approached that same outcropping with different “thens”, and walked away with different “and thens”.

But really? All of us – me, the lost East Coaster, the Fantastical Man, and the unknown Selkies … all of us were sharing in that same “now”. We saw it all through different lenses, but … we were all there. All a part of, and apart from, each other.
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“… It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. …”

That IS true, but it is also relevant, and real, that our darkness defines us. Without shadow, without contrast, how can we truly appreciate the light? Without the dark lines, how can we truly, and honestly, appreciate the light that is framed by those same shadows?


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Even though we are always steeped in “the now” how do we truly, and unabashedly, embrace the “and then”?

We can’t. Not until we take a moment to look at paths once trod.


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Those footsteps are now washed away, but they still leave a waffled-sole impression on me. On us. On our souls. And that?

That is the path of “the now”. And the “and then”.
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And then? And THEN?

I don’t fucking know. All I can say is that I really like it – I both love and loathe not knowing what next. Or even what then. Or even what now. All I can do is embrace all the light, and the shadow, and the contrast. Gather them all to my heart and soul, like a bouquet of balloons, and see what picture comes from it. Bring them in, smile and laugh a bit, and then let them go. Let them go, just to see what happens. To see where the wind takes them.

Just to see where they wind up.
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