Little do they realize what we cats get up to at night. Those rescue volunteers who feed me and clean this place think they're the only ones who ever get out. Those kindhearted folks never wonder why we cats sleep all day high in our cat trees, only coming down for the canned food and the box. They must think we're the laziest creatures in the world!

      I'm Jordie, Adopt me from Happy Tails

When I showed up with my back leg crushed, they presumed I had been hit by a car. I guess those large-brained apes didn't notice I wasn't anywhere near the road. They didn't notice the wormhole. They never notice the important things. Only a few cats can see these things. It's probably better that way.

 A wormhole connected to the eleventh dimension, the realm of the undead, is more than these people could handle. It takes more than a few kind humans trapping some cats and cutting off their you-know-whats to keep our world safe from the 11th dimension vampire parasites. When the humans think we're idly staring of into space, that is exactly what we are doing. We are carefully watching all 11 dimensions.

Fighting vampires can be a dangerous business. Fortunately, most are vulnerable just after they transfer through the wormhole. When a vampire first appears in our 3 dimensions, we only have a few short seconds before the bloodsucking ghoul regains its composure and abilities. In those few seconds, the vampire is stuck in its traveling animus, usually appearing as a small rat or bat. That's when we strike.

We have only failed a few times in all history. You may have heard of one of our failures in Romania. I could throttle that loudmouthed Irish cat for spilling that story to his struggling author human. One story leaked out, just once, and sensitive teenaged humans are still compelled to pretend they are vampires over a hundred years later.

Well, my story isn't too long. I had my teeth into the neck of one of these trans-dimensional interloper rats when he rematerialized in his form as full sized man with claws as sharp as a cat's. I held on long enough to sever his throat, but he crushed my leg before I could send his corrupted soul back to its home. Happy Tails' vetrinarian amputated my leg so I could live.

               I still have an awesome profile

I can no longer do my part to protect the world, but you need not worry. Other cats will take over. We are legion and unwavering in our defense against vampires. You might run across groups of vigilant cats around a wormhole near you. You might see them constantly watching, always on the alert. The rescue people call these trans-dimensional wormholes “feral colonies”. These cats' work saves your world every day. If you stumble across one of these “colonies”, do not disturb it. The future of the world may depend on that one colony.

That's my story. Believe it if you dare face the truth, or believe I was hit by a car. The choice is yours.

I am working hard to transfer into a new role as a house cat. I am doing my best to regain my feline skills. I've figured out climbing but walking is still a little tricky sometimes. I am not the best at getting along with the ten or fifteen roommate cats in my big enclosure at Happy Tails, but some of the volunteers seem to like me a lot. I need to find my way into someone's home, where I won't have to put up with so many would-be dominant cats. I'm easy to get a long with, and you can  call me Crazylegs (another steve s does) or even Kitty if you want. I really won't mind.