Not Amused

Anthony Elmore

Anthony Elmore
Location
Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Birthday
May 05
Company
www.diabeticincandyland.com
Bio
I'm either a web designer who writes on the side, or vise versa. Should be the other way around. A psychic told me I would be famous for doing something remarkable, but she wasn't clear what that thing was. Maybe Ill break a world record for walking on my hands across the nation for Peace. Maybe I'll figure out zero-point energy. I don't know, but I hope it doesn't go to my head. Please visit my podcast and relate: http://www.diabeticincandyland.com

Anthony Elmore's Links

New list

On June 6, 2008, I sent myself an email using the FutureMe app (http://www.futureme.org). This is what I sent to my FutureMe.

Dear FutureMe,

So how did it go? We'll I guess you know that already. You do like to ask questions that you already know the answer. I hope you stopped… Read full post »

JUNE 29, 2009 10:31PM

I'm Back..And this time I'm

So where have I been?

First, a quick story. I used to play Counter Strike online and after  a while I was getting too involved. Everytime I got fragged, I'd curse aloud, throw something or just whine. Then, I smashed an expensive headset when I got bumped offline.  I looked at… Read full post »


Guest Rick Arndt Reads from his drug-addled memoirs  from Seattle. A misunderstanding in the library gets me tossed out and my library card, and what's left of my dignity, revoked. If you meet Michael Stipe in a bar, beat him.

Link: http://diabeticincandyland.com/2009/05/03/dic-28-trippinRead full post »

crabSuede guests on my podcast "Diabetic in Candyland"

Her Piece: http://diabeticincandyland.com/2009/03/15/dic-26-doin-the-damn-thing/

She reads this timely story: http://open.salon.com/blog/suede/2009/02/24/is_byob_the_new_recession_etiquette

Thank's a lot Suede!!

MARCH 13, 2009 5:36PM

Gimme a P-M-I-T-A!

Hearing about Madoff made me think of this scene from Office Space:

 Link here if embed doesn't work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPcql4FuCK0

Dont drop the soap!! Read full post »

MARCH 10, 2009 3:22PM

Dreaming Prague

Every other night I have this dream.  I'm not a big beliver in metaphysics or dream interpretation, but I do believe the mind recycles images and indexes them to your own mind-state. Horrible or beautiful, are landscapes that permanent like freizes on church. In time, they fade, but the mind put… Read full post »

In college, I had a Constitutional Law Professor who was a Harvard Grad. His collegues, who received their PHd's at state colleges, berated him for being a 'conservative elitist'. Both weren't true.

He attended Harvard during the late 60's, when it was possible for a hard-working, small town boy to g… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 26, 2009 11:07AM

If Love is the Drug....

...then I want to OD!

 The Brian Jonestown Massacre

FEBRUARY 26, 2009 8:36AM

My Obligatory Dr. Amy Bashing Post

Dr. Amy is a big stoopid head. She is dumb. Her post is dumb.  Oh how I hate Dr. Amy.

Why is she on the front page and not me? I'm smart and I like children, dolphins, unicorns and kettle corn.  I'm nice to people of color, gays, animals, special people.… Read full post »

            Americans travel to Amsterdam for many reasons, the least of them is the Bloemenmarkt and view the Van Gogh’s.  I came to Europe for the other reasons and to spend that cartridge of youthful indulgence before it was too lat/… Read full post »

The latest Diabetic in Candyland podcast is live and features Open Salon's Mungular aka Summer. She relates her layoff experience and really lays into the corporate big wigs.  Very personal and intense.

Link to podcast: http://diabeticincandyland.com

Also, my RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.cRead full post »

I've done it. I've jumped off the cliff.

One Sunday, I wrote my supervisors a email stating that I am no longer in their service and am striking out on my own.  Now wiser folk would say, never quit a job unless you have another waiting for you.  I've always had… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 13, 2009 10:42AM

A Valentine for Screwed by a Fat Baby

Something for all the lonely hearts out there who've been screwed overy by a certain, fat flying baby.

FEBRUARY 10, 2009 2:25PM

Jim D. Adkisson Didn't Read Chomsky

On Monday, Jim D. Adkisson pled guilty to two counts of 1st degree murder.   In July of last year, Adkisson entered a Tennessee Unitarian Universalist Church and  began massacring 'chicken shit liberals' until brave people jumped and stopped him.

Now I know he's an angry self-loathin… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 9, 2009 11:45AM

Crystal Clear Bong of Knowledge

Dream I had Saturday Night:

I'm sitting in this church I used to go to as a teen.  The church was held in a gymnasium where we sat on blue polyester and steel chairs.  I'm bored with the sermon.

 I turn to my left and there is Commander Adama who hands… Read full post »

Christian Bale's Toddler Tantrum recalled this old Negativeland diddy, featuring Kasey Kasem flipping out on a producer.



I got an autograph from Mark Hosler of Negativeland on a book he wrote. He wrote, "Fuck Snuggles!!"

Read full post »

FEBRUARY 3, 2009 8:53AM

Its a vagina, Sulemen, not an ATM.

Since Suleman, the octo-mom, want's to cash in on her fertility, why doesn't she get creative and start a baby lottery.  There are people, like my wife and I, who want a child, but have had difficulties in conceiving one. Since she isn't eqipped to raise them herself, she should adopt… Read full post »

The incident of Peter the Stalker gigged me, especially since one of my entires dealt with a type of proto cyberbullying.

Peter's other guise, Kalvin, trolled my entry "They Drew Genitals on My Face." The semi-ficticious story about anonymous bullying was meant as a humor piece, not a personal Pieta… Read full post »

  Toulouse Lautrec said never meet your heroes, because they will be far less that what you expect.  Actually, I expect celebrities to be like the rest of us, humble, arrogant, picky, tyrannical, evasive, rude, human.  I’m sure flashbulb blinded; paparazzi hounded celebrities hav… Read full post »

JANUARY 27, 2009 4:34PM

Its Nationl Git Loaded Befre Werk Day

 

Figure A


Figure B

Never heard of it? Can't find it on a calendar? That's because its your day to fuck off at work, because you earned it.  Have a liquid lunch or smoke out in the car, then arrive at work. It's easy and the banks and government institutions are still…

Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 26, 2009 8:35PM

They Drew Genitals on My Face

Podcast version of this story can be found here: http://www.diabeticincandyland.com

Ninth Grade, 1985.  Study hall in the library dragged on like a snail on lithium.  I dozed on and off, read a paragraph of the biology text book in an attempt to trick the monitor I was interested. I shared… Read full post »

I'm down with Lisa Kern

Fall, 2002:

I managed a small web design company that had an open storefront, nestled in a mini-mall between a Thai restruant and a Pilates studio. I'm assisting a woman with a CD fullfillment order when I hear loud conversation in front of the store.… Read full post »

JANUARY 24, 2009 9:11PM

Farting in Church

Note: After reading Mungular's account of growing up fundie,  I had to post this old essay.

As a child, I wasn’t very perceptive or smart.  I asked the same irritating questions in Sunday School like most kids, but I had the persistence of a mouth ulcer to get answers.  If… Read full post »

If you look close enough, you can see Obama's face.

One moldy block of Dubliner Cheese.  Odetteroulette - I like babies and Erma Brombeck. No disrespect intended on motherhood.
 
 
Read full post »

As I've witnesses on this site, many have been affected by the current economic meltdown.  I'd like to give an opportunity for these folk to tell their down n' out stories on my podcast, Diabetic in Candyland (http://www.diabeticincandyland.com).

I want to produce a series of funny audio intervi… Read full post »