Anthony Elmore

Anthony Elmore
Atlanta, Georgia, USA
May 05
Anthony Elmore writes from his home in Roswell, Georgia. He’s a blood relation to Lincoln assassin John Wilkes Booth and has huge mutant big toes. He’s only proud of one of those distinctions. He suffers from a rare, yet uncategorized psychological condition where he is unable to pass a mirror or any reflective surface without making a funny face. He is a lover of fine storytelling, history, silly jokes, books, Legos and spicy foods. He’s married to Anna, whom he depends on to keep his posture and his outlook upright. His opinions on politics, religion and culture have forever excused him from jury duty, town meetings and most social events. He keeps a blog where he posts short “Odes to Found Objects”, opinions, observations and notes on the writing life at He’s nears completion of The Rapture Express, a young adult novel set in 1976 which blends KISS, pecan logs, Christians and Huggy Bear. He'll let you know once it’s finished.

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JULY 1, 2011 7:45PM

My Media Mention has Come to Pass – ChristWire

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As a new writer, I live in fear and quivering anticipation of my first review. Bored and feeling especially narcissistic, I googled “Farting in Church” and saw my ebook mentioned in an article by progressive-as- glaciers, conservative Christian website, Christwire (Catching the Scent of Gays and Atheists in Church).

Having flipped her bean of ire, she has accused this author of being the ringleader of a gang who “travels of one gang that infiltrates and befriends unsuspecting evangelicals and then rips praise for Satan.” While I find this to be a scandalous accusation, I am happy that FIC is getting a media mention.

Without even reading my ebook Blanche lumps me with the homosexualist agenda that is intent to defile places of worship with their “bum hums.” The last time I checked a gay’s agenda (inscribed in a Cavallini Day Planner in Pink Bonded Leather), all that was mentioned was lots of shopping, White Parties and closet organizing. No mention of catching ‘barking spiders’ in a church or synagogue.

And being accused of being an Atheist? If an a atheist did fart I’d have to prove it using the Scientific Method or diagram it a syllogism. I flunked Symbolic Logic in college because I couldn’t tell a syllogism from limerick.

With my reputation toxified by her accusation, I wrote a flaming retort in the comments section. It’s on now, Blanche. Go to their site to view it.

By the way, this site is satirical, right?

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