I have read, as I am sure all of you have read, about diets that don't have enough calories in them causing you to gain weight rather than lose it by triggering the conservation mode in your body.

So how do Anorexics get skinny, then? I've heard all sorts of explanations of… Read full post »

I come here once in a while. I will admit I've had writers block for a while now. So what? It will go away eventually. But when I come here to OS, I have to sign in through the front page. Oh my God. Every time its the same shit plastered… Read full post »

Invisible - Disabilities from the inside out.

Autism, in the mid to mild spectrums, is invisible. You can't see it and it's not immediately, and sometimes ever, obvious to onlookers. In middle school, it seems, life becomes an asshole contest. Who can be the biggest asswipe on the bus, who can be… Read full post »

{This was my second adventure in Bumphuck county and I did a pretty extensive re-write and thought I'd throw it out there because I have another chapter coming soon and wanted to refresh your acquaintance with some of the back-story)

So I made another trip out to Bumphuck for an… Read full post »

For the love of God, WHY, after all these long years, do you still haunt the halls of my dreams? Walking through the dark corridors of my mind like a ghost, faded, bitter-sweet, but empty, yet in that place, in dreams, you stir something lost. Like a locust shell in a… Read full post »

Once upon a time there was an old man and old woman who had been married for 58 years and lived in a little cottage deep in the wood. The old man had developed a nasty habit of gambling away every penny, and even every thing, they ever had. When he… Read full post »

In my 17 year veteran parenthood, I have discovered the virtues of being able to tell some really good lies. There are somethings a kid just ought not to know about their parents, especially in the financial department. It helps, to be sure, if there are other families in your neighborhood… Read full post »

Dude. Can I do it? Can I write a book? Regardless of publishing, can I actually write a whole book and make it at least somewhat enjoyable to read?

I wondered. Maybe I could. My whole life I saw myself as an artist and that's what I became professionally, but… Read full post »

Drove by a funeral home today. There were men in suits on the front porch and police cars waiting in the parking lot to escort the funeral procession to the graveyard.

They are doing road construction on the road I was on and the flagman was taking his sweet time on slow… Read full post »

That's what's been on my mind lately. My dad died of lung cancer in 2006. My mom was single for 3 years. She started dating and soon after married a wonderful man. He was older than her by a good bit but spry and the picture of health. In fact, a… Read full post »

First off, let me say I am on a nice dose of NyQuil and further reference to NyQuil will be made as NQ or NQ'd, simply because it is so cumbersome to write when you are NQ'd.

 It all started with this relentless case of heartburn that I suspect is… Read full post »

I don't know who may remember me writing about Bill S.773 back in August of 2009, don't bother looking for it because everyone here, at OS, except for one, said I was "hysterical" and I got so .... frustrated, that I deleted it and didn't come back for a long time./… Read full post »

Preface: SavageHusband (SH) is never here when things go wrong. But he redeems himself later on. 

Monday night, I think it was, SH came in to hug me awake. Actually it was a goodnight hug, but he drops his dead weight on me and it's like being trapped… Read full post »

This is for Trig, in case he doesn't see my comment on his Bad Moon Rising post. It is in regard to the recent dead bird rains. This is small bit of knowledge I had tucked away in Apache's College of Useless Knowledge - which is collection of really odd facts… Read full post »

New Years Eve is Cold

I never really ever got excited about New Years. Even when I was a kid and my dad would drive to TN or AL to get some fireworks - they were cool and it was always fun hanging out with my dad and… Read full post »

October 21, 2010 is the official quit date. I quit smoking and there is no way in hell I will ever pick up another cigarette.

As many of you may know, my dad died of lung cancer in 06. My mom remarried a year ago today and we found out… Read full post »

I am a foot person. What that means is that the appearance of my feet matters a great deal to me. It also means the appearance of your feet means something to me as well. What that meaning is, depends greatly upon whether or not you are following proper foot etiquette.… Read full post »

Well I say it's about time! Goldman was practicing dentistry when I was a kid and I chipped my tooth and my mother took me to him and he built on a shitty fake tooth that was too big for my mouth and gave me buck teeth, causing me to have… Read full post »

I was shopping at the market
For a bra that would not make me weary
For I am allergic to elastic
and am tactile defensive, really.

I was deep within Wal-Mart
When suddenly I spied them
Racks and racks of stiffened bras
With boobies already inside them!

I wasn't deterred but yet I stopped
What would those… Read full post »

For earlier Bumphuck tales click links below:

You know you're in Bumphuck Egypt when...

Another Adventure in Bumphuck

A Rapist Comes to Bumphuck County

Made another trip out to Bumphuck county the other day and of course I stopped in at the produce stand to talk to… Read full post »

(If you want to go straight to the favor, scroll down to the bolded words)

When the phone rang, I was glad Michelle was at her desk to answer it. I was snowed under with the F14 Tomcat schematics I was working on and didn't want to be… Read full post »