I hate interviews. Hate the corporate blue suits, the dresses, the panty-hose, high-heels, the trick questions and all the reading between the lines that is expected on both sides which is just such a waste of time when one can simply ask or say exactly what one wants to know or wants to be known.

I've already gotten past the first three trip wires of the handshake, invitation to take a seat and the refusal of any refreshments. "So tell me a little bit about yourself," says Mr. Corporate America.

This always throws me for a loop. Didn't he read my resume before he called me? If so, he should already know quite a lot as far as this job is concerned. What's left to tell?..... Uh, let's see... I've been a recluse for so long now that I sometimes forget my public etiquette and end up wondering if I've burped or farted while having an otherwise pleasant conversation with someone outside of my family...........

I summarize my resume in about 3 sentences as I begin to wonder if I really want this job at all. I know in my heart of hearts I don't. The overload of responsibilities that span the length of 3 jobs and for chump pay, and oh yeah, benefits that are going to take a huge chunk out of that chump check every two weeks. I make more money running my own business from our home than this job pays, but if being an employee helps the ol' man feel assured that I am doing my part to contribute to the financial stability of our family, so be it.

"So tell me, where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

There it was. The dreaded 5 years question. It used to be that I dreaded it because I rarely planned a week in advance, much less 5 years. Then I dreaded it, as I climbed the corporate ladder, because I knew the answer was, "not here." Now my mind began to wander.

5 Years ago my daughter was just learning to talk, my middle son was well, see Tales From My Autistic Umbrella 1 - 9 as we were on the brink of making that discovery, my oldest son was 10 and into Star Wars. Today he is literally caught in between 10 and 20; he's still a child, he looks like a man, he wants the "freedom" of adulthood, but he is still afraid to fly. My middle son has come a loooong way but still has a looong way to go to be totally caught up. My daughter is sassy and a limits pusher. I sometimes lose my temper with her and we both end up mad or crying.

In 5 years from this day my oldest son will be a man, my middle son will be a teen and facing a whole new set of challenges, and my daughter will be seeking to hold on to the last moments of young childhood as she approaches the teen years. My oldest cat will probably be dead and my dog will be in the winter of his life. I can only hope that in 5 years, mine and my husband's noses will be filled with the sweet smell of life's roses.

I look Mr. Corporate America in the eye and tell him, "In 5 years I see myself in a place where I am truly needed, giving my all - my heart and soul - to make a difference to whom I work and a difference in the world. Providing direction in the face of every day challenges, and defeating obstacles that obscure my view of the prize; of goals met and missions accomplished."

"Wow! That's the best answer to that question I've ever heard!" Mr. Corp America gushes. "When can you start?"

"Today." I stand up and shake his hand as I gather my things to leave. "I'm sorry I wasted your time."

"I'm sorry?" Mr. Corp America is confused. "I'm not sure I know what you mean?"

"I guess not, but your question..... 'where do you see yourself in 5 years,' was very thought provoking and I did some quick soul searching and I came to the conclusion that I already have the perfect job. I knew it all along, I just needed you to prove it to me. Thanks for that. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an ice cream truck to catch."