For the love of God, WHY, after all these long years, do you still haunt the halls of my dreams? Walking through the dark corridors of my mind like a ghost, faded, bitter-sweet, but empty, yet in that place, in dreams, you stir something lost. Like a locust shell in a bottle; the life, long gone, but a perfect empty replica saved and stored away on a high shelf. Where do you come from? Why will you not disappear from my dreams as you have from my waking life?
I do not long for you in any way. I did for a long time. But it finally faded. Then I saw who you had become, so far from the one I knew, a complete stranger. It was what finally put the memory of you to rest and I moved on and away and never looked back again for I had no desire to. Yet against my own desires, you manifest yourself in my dreams. They are almost always informant style; you are telling me things, interesting things. I listen. I want to know more. Then the memory of what once inhabited that locust shell washes over my dreaming self as if it is real and as if it is now and it feels good. I think it is joy. Then I wake and before I can remember who you really are, I wish I could go back but I cannot. No matter how hard I try, I cannot find you on purpose, in dreams. Though I can find you quite easily in real life, yet I have never tried. I don't want to.
Our eyes and hearts lie to our minds. They have learned to see and feel and take meaning for granted so that we see only what we want to see when we look in the mirror. You are my mirror, brought before me to show me something, some undeniable truth about myself, yet for so long I did not see it. Then when I did see it, I refused to acknowledge it. We were brought together to be mirrors of the other until the time comes that we realize that the reflection seen of you is also me.