1. If a joke will distract you from being mad at me, I'll tell one.
2. If saying 'Sorry' will distract you from being mad at me, I'll say it.
3. If giving you a back door to leave me makes you feel better about staying, I'll open it for you.
4. If there's anything in my life I can give up to make you stay, look, it's gone.
5. Cook for you, clean for you, do your bookkeeping, keep the IRS off your back, make your net worth grow. Not what you wanted, was it?
6. Unfortunately, unlimited blow jobs are not being offered, but we can work something out, right?
7. And there's absolutely no way I can have a baby anymore.
8. So I married a man who is 13 years younger than me.
I'm not sure if it was number 6 or 7 or the fact that I was a dishrag in the relationship was the fatal flaw in his opinion.
But I think it was number 8.
~~~~~
OK, I'm back from watching talking heads laugh at Michele Bachmann and I can spend more than a few minutes on this.
Really, If I were to go through the list and identify character traits, here's what they'd be:
I can laugh at myself, and anything else at any time.
I have no problem apologizing if I did something wrong.
I think of others more than myself.
I am very adaptable and can adjust to most changes.
I like to organize everyone's life because I'm good at it.
I can be honest about everything, including the fact that I don't want to suck your dick three times a day, thanks very much.
I have always had more in common with people half my age.
But those seem like good things to me now. I just know in that situation, one or more of those traits were fatal. What some people call flaws, other people call assets. Until a situation happens where an asset turns into a flaw. I've heard it said that the thing you love about a person at the beginning is the thing you hate about them at the end. That was my marriage.
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Comments
Thanks Kate :)
Robin - dammit, I think that was the flaw!
Oh please....I'll put up with the flaws if you could come through on this for me:)
Susan, I can be obsessive-compulsive to the max. I do databases for fun - and some people don't like that level of orderliness.
Rita - Thanks! blackly hilarious is a goal of mine.
Late - Thanks, but I didn't put much time into this post, and it shows. And I agree with you about putting too much time into BJs.
Pilgrim, I appreciate your ability to overlook #6. I expected to catch heat on that one.
My take on this Open Call is predictably snarky. I once drop-kicked a project in graphic design class - do an ad campaign for a pharmaceutical company - because I hate that industry. I used a photo of a nun for the person doing the testimonial and I named the product Religitril - Opiate of the Masses. I targeted two with one blow. That _is_ one of my flaws. I'll sabotage anything I don't believe in. I didn't really believe in this Open Call. But luckily, grading is on the curve here.
you deserve better
Oh, Kathy, I've written about this before but it doesn't hurt that much anymore. It's just that when I think about my flaws, I think about context, and the marriage seemed like a good one to use. I appreciate your concern for me, though.
Yeah, Matt - I think I'll try to stick to my own generation. If any of them will stop looking at women 13 years younger than them.
Put them with anal in terms of male pleasure - male power, maybe, but not pleasure.
If I get mad at you I'll tell you why, and we can talk - but you were joking about those 3 points, weren't you ?
I'm older than you, and I don't have a boat or a house in the islands but I'd happily inspect your silk ... as it were.
Those points were all directed at the ex, and his power issues. I don't think he ended up liking that I was competent and opinionated. Your very reasonable reactions are so wonderfully different. And I do think you have a house in the the islands - it's just a big island.
Kim, I'll buy the beer. And it's summer down there too. Sounds nice.