I discovered orgasms at a very young age. I never realized how fortunate I was in that. By the time I was 8 or 9 I rode the white pony with regularity. And when we moved into the new house when I was in the 5th grade and I found, hidden behind a half wall in my closet, a Oster massager? Didn't take me long to figure out what that might be good for.
My sister was similarly precocious. We had conversations about what we called "hitting the spot". Don't ask me how we came up with that euphemism. I couldn't tell you.
It came as something of a shock to me when I was 13 or 14 and my mother, who was dutifully teaching us from church approved literature at an approved age, informed me that masturbation ( I finally knew what it was called) was bad and wrong. I spent a few years entertaining the notion that I might be going to hell for engaging in it but it didn't stop me from engaging.
Then I grew up and met and talked to a lot of women my age that had never had an orgasm. I was sad for them. I tried to help them on their way to experiencing one. I gave them catalogues with interesting toys in them. Tried to walk them through their hangups.
Mostly, I failed. But I tried.
I had more hope for the next generation but I'm losing that battle, too.
I spent a disturbing and enlightening couple of hours with my sons ex girlfriend and her best friend talking about sex, love and whether orgasms really exist.
These are two girls in their early 20s who have never had an orgasm. Ever. You can tell because they say things like, "Well sex feels good, but is that an orgasm?"
They are half way there but orgasms they are not having. I tried to describe it for them and they looked at me like I was an alien. Short of tying them to a chair and going at them with a vibrator I don't know what to do for them.
There has to be a reason for this. Why would I stumble onto it in the early years and others can't find it with a map when they are 25? Evolutionary design flaw? Psychological bullshit mental block?
Whatever the reason, women have a much harder time attaining sexual release than men. That's hardly fair. We get the messy end of reproduction and the elusive orgasm. Maybe if we had killed off the patriarchal tribes back when we had the chance we wouldn't have this problem.