I haven't updated my blog in months. Not because I didn't want to. Because I had a health crisis that was chased like a cat by a terrier by a financial crisis. I had neither the time nor the energy to write. Not for no money.

 But I just ran in to a work related thing that won't go away if I don't exorcise it by writing about it. I'm losing sleep, so money or not, better I pound it out here.

 A certain client  of mine hires thousands of contractors. They kindly provide a message board for these people to interact. A couple of days ago someone started a thread on this board about how guilty they felt working at home because their kids get ignored.

Huh?

 A big part of the reason that I became a contractor was that I had a million kids and I wanted to be around for them. But my work time? The kids always knew that unless there was blood or the communists invaded that mommy's work time was mommy's work time. I had no guilt over telling/teaching them to deal with their own drama. I chose to be there so I could be there when it was really important.  But "Mommy play with me,  I'm bored."

 Not really important. 

 Where did women get the idea that to be a good mommy you have to pay attention and cater to your child's every little whim? 

 Historically the SAHM is an anomaly. At least the SAHM June Cleaver, Donna Reed approved mom. They didn't exist in any numbers that are statistically significant.  Most of history you had to be rich to be wife and mother and nothing else. Women have always worked. The 1950s housewife is a myth. Or at least so rare that she might as well be. 

The ability to stay at home at cater to the spawns every whim is a luxury. Throughout history women have worked their asses off. I'm pretty sure that 1850s women didn't get all guilt stricken because they couldn't play aughts and crosses with little Johnny. 

 I've decided that guilt is a choice these women make based on a skewed view of history. It has to be. Historically women birthed the babies and then worked their fingers to the bone  to make sure they had enough to eat so they would survive.  

Guilt over play time is a brand new thing. It isn't bad, exactly, but if you have to work for your grocery money you ought to realize that feeding your kid is more important than playing with them if it means playing with them will lower the money you have to buy groceries. 

 Seems simple, yes? Apparently it isn't.