I am increasingly fearful that this is a movie and that I do not understand my part. I actually am not sure if its a drama or a comedy although I am sure its a bad movie with a drunk director and a producer with too much money. I wake up each morning and find that some special effects genius has been working on me because that face in the mirror is of a stranger, maybe not a steppenwolf or cockroach but definitly not mine. I take from it that I must have at best a supporting part (they do not make leading men up as gargoyles) but I certainly have yet to encounter the star.
There is also constant background music now which is invariably loud with too constant a backbeat. it does not lead toward any emotion but fear or discomfort, is invariably lacking in subtlety or development. the theme appears to be discordance. People seem to be hurrying up when they are going no where- I watched four cars at a four way stop each waving another on- no two waved the same car on and this degenerated into cursing, horn blowing and a series of false starts. Somehow i felt there was some meaning here that I missed. Then there was no one at the intersection except me and I did not know if i was suppossed to wait for more cars- there was no script in the glove compartment so I just drove on.
Squirrels have been watching with much greater interest and they are placing themselves carefully as if hitting their mark, their tails forming defined question marks. I go out to work and there a squirrel posing the unanswered question and when I return another squirrel sits with the question. I think it might be a surrealist movie.
a neighbor asks me about predatory drones and I am not sure if I'm supposed to admit I've never seen one but wouldn't mind if they shot squirrels, apparantly they cross our skies in great numbers. Or is it a green room effect? No one invites me to the dailies.
There is also a great dissonance of team which I assume is what it must be like to be inside a time warp- I saw a number of extras in tri cornored hats carrying a combination of the Don't tread on me Banner, Confederate Battle Flags and Posters of Kipling era Black Samba posters enraged for some reason at people in wheel chairs for being in wheel chairs. The theme music continued its discordance and i was not sure if I was suppossed to counter with anger, laugh, cry? What is the significance of wheelchairs? the squirrels want to know.
So if anyone is watching I am sorry for my performance but without a script its all some strange sort of performance art. Does anyone know where the commisary truck is? Or when we get paid? Or how to get off this set?
The squirrel's ask with their tales.