Recently we’ve been hearing a lot about President Obama’s “kill list.” He has taken full charge of the effort to bump off anti-American terrorists in such hell holes as Pakistan. Probably, as Rick said in “Casablanca,” he is doing them a favor. Who wants to live in Pakistan if he can be up in heaven diddling virgins?
But an alarming aspect of this is that the people on whom he unleashes drone strikes sometimes include American citizens. Not, to be sure, the kind of American citizens who wear gaudy shirts and Bermuda shorts, and just want to take pictures, but rather the kind who are willing to strap live explosives to their genitals in their heroic efforts to destroy innocent American lives. Ewww.
Obama keeps mini-biographies of the terrorists whom American intelligence officers think should be assassinated, and the final decision is his as to who comes next. Because there are only so many drones available to launch at any given moment, he has to be selective. He is said to be regularly thumbing through a pack of cards, much like the Topps baseball cards, that show each malefactor’s face and a recitation of his bad deeds.
Sounds like great fun. But some spoilsports have been unkind enough to suggest that Obama’s policy is not exactly in accord with due process, especially as it relates to the rights of our citizens. Also, the spoilsports note, no effort seems to be made to capture any of these terrorists, in hopes of eliciting information from them about possible future terrorist activities. Obama has outlawed waterboarding, and has chosen assassination as the humane alternative.
Because American citizens are considered fair game for Obama’s peremptory attacks, it behooves every American citizen to examine whether he might be on the drone list. This is not as outlandish as it may seem. In the post-9/11 era, the authorities pay respectful attention to anyone who brings them information about possible terrorists.
Think a moment. Did that neighbor who complains when your dog shits on his lawn ever receive a visit from fit-looking young men with short haircuts, wearing dark blue suits and conservative ties? If the neighbor tried to rat you out, would those serious-looking young men have taken him seriously? Don’t bet against it.
Well, you may say, there is no way they can produce a baseball card showing a photo of me. I have always been camera-shy. I didn’t even pose for a photo for the high school yearbook.
Don’t underestimate the government. Do you recall any recent visits from the gas company, in which the technician, whom you had never seen before, said that he had to check the lines in your house. And did you notice the bulge in his shirt pocket, about the size of a Minox camera? Just asking.
Have you received any offers lately from a tree surgeon whose name does not appear in the Yellow Pages, who said that for an amazingly low fee he would chop down an old tree on your property whose heavy branches shield the roof of your house?
Have you noticed any unfamiliar cars parked a safe distance down your block, with what looks like laser-directional equipment protruding from their roofs?
Relax, maybe it’s nothing.